Passover Prayer On Behalf of Abused and Neglected Children
The Passover Seder is a time to celebrate our freedom and remember those who still struggle for the freedoms they deserve. Freedom from tyranny, violence, and oppression is a core value for us as our ancestors have known slavery, and our heart goes out to the enslaved and the imprisoned of any race, culture or creed. Tonight we remember a group of individuals often forgotten, trapped by a kind of slavery so cruel, that society often looks the other way---children (including adult survivors) enslaved in lives of abuse. . . Link
Pedophile Has 'How-to' Web Site for Men Seeking Little Girl Activities
Seattle-Area Pedophile Has 'How-to' Web Site for Men Seeking Little Girl Activities Fox News Friday , March 30, 2007
SEATTLE — A Web site created by a pedophile is a virtual "how-to" manual, complete with the best places in western Washington state to see little girls, and tips on how to avoid getting caught by the police.
The site, titled "Seattle-Tacoma-Everett Gil Love," has been around for a few years. The police know all about it, yet they say they can't shut it down because the site is legal.
"As disturbing and offensive as we find this, there's no evidence of a crime, or even suspicion of illegal activity," said Rebecca Hover of the Snohomish County Sheriff's Department.
The man who runs it, 45-year-old Jack McClellan, has never been convicted of a sex crime, which means he can attend any family-friendly events where children are present, and take all the pictures he wants for his Web site. He also lives close to a school bus stop.
McClellan says his purpose is to promote association, friendship and legal, consensual hugging and cuddling between men and pre-pubescent girls. He admitted to FOX News that his "age of attraction" is between 3 and 11 years old.
"I guess the main thing is I just think they're cute, a lot cuter than women. I admit there is kind of an erotic arousal there," McClellan said.
"It makes me happy simply. Like I said, I think girls are cute, beautiful, just children in general make me happy ... being around lots of them. ... I'm doing what anyone else would do with a hobby. If someone's into birds they're taking pictures of birds. I'm convinced that none of these images are illegal."
McClellan wants to bringpedophiles out of the closet and give them a way to get some relief, by going out and being around little girls. He suggests a number of places, such as plays at elementary schools, parks, swimming pools and libraries.
"I really think a lot of this pedophilia hysteria is overblown. I think there are a lot of people like me. They have the attraction but they're not going to do anything physical because of the laws. It just makes me happy to attend these events."
McClellan said that for pedophiles, just being around children is almost like a "legal high" that makes them happy.
But "I can understand the fear," he added. "I hope that what I'm doing is setting myself up as an example that it is possible to have these attractions and not be out of control."
But he said while it's OK to look, it's not OK to touch, given the many state laws in place to protect children against that.
"I know it sounds kind of crazy, but there's kind of a code of ethics that these pedophiles have developed and what it is ... the contact has to be completely consensual, no coercion, if you're going to do it," McClellan said.
Parents are understandably outraged. FOX News spoke to the mother of an 8-year-old girl whose picture appeared on the Web site. The picture was taken at a dance recital.
"I needed to get those pictures off of there. I didn't want the pedophile community having any visibility to my daughter or her friends or any of the children that were on that site," said parent Ann Cialoa. "Whether it's a physical threat, a perceived threat, whatever threat it is. It's our jobs as parents to protect our kids from threats, and he is a threat, and people like him are a threat."
Some legal experts have said the best course of action for parents who see their kids' pictures on sites like these, is to get a temporary restraining order against McClellan and demand that his Web site be taken down.
"You have one in your face and you can't do anything about it because there's not a law to protect them from that," Cialoa said. "It's scary, and the fact that we're going to wait around for him to violate before we do something."
Neighbors of McClellan's say there's a man who rides his bike around town at night and peeps into others' windows. They believe that may be McClellan.
"You'll notice that every single person in this neighborhood has very large attack dogs," said neighbor Melissa Henry.
The Web site was taken down by the Internet service provider after FOX News called the company about it this week. The company is investigating whether any material on the site is illegal.
At least one area school has sent McClellan a letter saying if he comes onto school property or attends their functions, they will consider it trespassing and will have him arrested.
Police and prosecutors are watching him closely to see if he crosses the line. A handful of state legislators are looking at drafting a new law to deal with such Web sites. But until they do, McClellan is free to continue pushing pedophilia.
FOX News' Robert Shaffer and Dan Springer contributed to this report.
Rabbi Juda Mintz "abandoned his last name and going by his first and middle name in this article. Should a convicted sex offender be offering counseling services to other sex offenders? Especially since he states that he has only been in "recovery for a short period of time and states his sex addiction started in his youth. Can a sex offender be "recovered" or should we refer to his criminal behavior as being "in remission"?
To Forgive or to Shun A child-porn-convicted rabbi tries to make amends as rabbi sex-abuse cases roil the Jewish community By JUSTIN CLARK LA Weekly Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Two Sundays ago, while having coffee with an Irvine woman he’d recently met on the Internet, Rabbi Juda Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) made the inevitable disclosure. He recounted the felony that, seven years ago, destroyed his marriage, estranged his children, forced his synagogue to fire him and sent him to federal prison.
“I’m a registered sex offender,” he told his date, heart banging in his chest.
As an Orthodox Jew, Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) wasn’t accustomed to going to confession. Seven years ago, he was a highly respected rabbi at Mount Freedom Jewish Center, an Orthodox synagogue in Randolph Township, New Jersey. But he was also a lifelong porn addict, and his addiction peaked after he was shown how to use the synagogue’s computer. Two weeks before the High Holy Days, the synagogue’s computer technician discovered two pictures of child pornography that Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) had viewed on an adult Web site. By enlarging the images, Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) had unwittingly downloaded them to his Web browser’s temporary-file cache.
“It was 2000,” Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) says, explaining why the synagogue’s elders went directly to the FBI. “That was during the height of the lawsuits against the Catholic Church.”
Heschel’s (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) nine months at Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institution, one of which he spent in solitary confinement, were only the beginning of his downward spiral. Seven years after those fateful mouse clicks to illegally download child porn, Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) has abandoned his last name (Heschel is his middle name) and lives an impoverished life in a tiny Venice apartment, decorated with the pictures of his three children who live on the East Coast. In Los Angeles, his potential employers and landlords usually assume that “registered sex offender” means rapist or child molester. He has been denied jobs and turned down for apartments. One of the most difficult moments came when a Los Angeles synagogue initially told him he was no longer welcome — even as a congregant.
As Los Angeles Archbishop Roger M. Mahony becomes embroiled in new claims that he knew about — and failed to stop — sexual abuse by a California priest, a number of high-profile sex scandals involving rabbis here and elsewhere have created a simmering fear among believers.
“We in the Jewish community are recognizing that we aren’t immune from these problems,” says Rabbi Mark S. Diamond, executive vice president of The Board of Rabbis of Southern California — one of the area’s two main rabbinical bodies, along with the Rabbinical Council of California. “For too many years I’ve heard Jewish people say this is not our problem, it just affects other faiths and denominations. We’re seeing otherwise.”
Diamond was horrified, for instance, to see his close colleague Rabbi David Kaye ensnared last year on Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a Predator.” (Kaye was sentenced to six and a half years in prison for attempting to seduce an actor who, working with Dateline, posed as a 13-year-old boy.) Around the same time, the principal of one of Los Angeles’ most popular Jewish schools, Rabbi Aron Tendler, stepped down amid allegations that he had sexually abused teenage girls. A few months later, Rabbi Mordechai Gafni, a popular leader in the Jewish Renewal movement, lost his chair at Los Angeles’ Stephen S. Wise Temple Elementary School after confessingto molesting several of his former female students.
Diamond says all of these episodes left him “very, very pained.” He isn’t alone. A growing concern about unreported sex abuse — and what to do with offenders when they’re caught or come forward — has reshaped alliances within the local Jewish community and created bickering behind closed doors.
So discovered prominent Rabbinical Council member Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein last month, after he hosted a seminar dealing with the growing number of sex-abuse allegations surfacing on Jewish blogs. Adlerstein said he felt torn between the need to listen to victims and his colleagues’ concern that the Internet has simply created a venue for l’shon hara, or anonymous slander.
But he found even bringing up the subject at all was tricky. Says Adlerstein, “I immediately got flak from colleagues asking me, ‘Why are you talking about the stuff when you know it’s going to get distorted?’”
The discussion has led to some positive results. In 2002, when Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) began speaking about his struggle to overcome porn addiction and re-enter society after prison, he and Diamond helped organize a five-part seminar on the problem of sexual addiction among the clergy. It was the first time in years, says Diamond, that leaders of the historically estranged Board of Rabbis and Rabbinical Council found themselves sitting down at the same table.
Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) says the discussion was especially needed in the Orthodox community, where the topic is dealt with less openly because of the shame attached to it. To rectify that, Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) organized a 12-step group for addicted rabbis at the local rehabilitation center Beit T’Shuvah in Culver City, where he voluntarily resided before his sentencing and stint at Fort Dix.
Soon after, the Aleinu Family Resource Center — the primary family-advocacy group for Orthodox Jews — convinced 21 of 26 local Los Angeles yeshivas to agree to guidelines that encourage the reporting of sexual abuse by rabbis. (Council director Deborah Fox declined to identify the nonparticipating yeshivas to the L.A. Weekly, but calls their refusal to sign the guidelines an example of the lingering resistance to addressing the subject of sex abuse.)
Dealing with sex-abuse allegations can be even trickier than preventing the abuse in the first place. Like priests, rabbis suspected of sexual abuse have been shuffled from one temple to another. Unlike priests, however, rabbis cannot be defrocked, which poses a tricky question that Jews must face: how to deal with the fallen.
For its part, Diamond’s organization will soon send a team of chaplains to serve Jewish patients at the 1,500-bed Coalinga State Hospital, a recently constructed facility for sexually violent predators. California’s first new mental hospital in 50 years focuses not on curing its patients but preventing relapses — a more realistic goal, practitioners say. At the same time, Diamond admits, nonviolent turnaround cases like Heschel’s (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) present an equally serious dilemma: After seven years of seeking treatment, telling his story and raising awareness about sex offenses, should Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) be allowed in the pulpit?
Beit T’Shuvah’s founder, Mark Borowitz, doesn’t hesitate. He says that the Torah commands believers to forgive those who make a genuine t’shuvah, or repentance, through admitting to their crimes and ensuring the crime will not happen again. In practice, that means rehabilitation programs such as 12-step, through which Borowitz himself, a former convict and author of a best-selling addiction memoir, The Holy Thief, says he found salvation.
But salvation, in a religious sense, is one thing. In a medical sense, it means something else. “We don’t say that word in 12-step programs,” says Borowitz, when asked if Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) is “cured.” “We say ‘recovered.’”
“Allowing [Heschel] (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) to provide counseling to others with sex addictions is totally inappropriate,” Polin posted on her Web site in December. “To allow him to advertise in Los Angeles Jewish Journal is horrifying.”
Heschel i(AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) s obviously torn about whether to defend himself, reasoning that the community itself must decide if he should be forgiven, or simply resign himself to the unlikelihood that he will find universal acceptance.
That is why Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) offers his services discreetly over the phone, mostly to Orthodox Jews on the East Coast who have also suffered from Internet porn addiction. Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) says that if his callers weren’t allowed to remain anonymous — he knows them only by their client number — most would never come forward at all. Borowitz credits Heschel with bringing nearly two dozen individuals into Beit T’Shuvah’s Sex Addicts Anonymous program.
“As with alcohol or drug addiction,” Borowitz says, “the best sexual-addiction counselors are those who are in recovery themselves.”
Nevertheless, Heschel says he misses having the rabbi’s pulpit, and regularly sends out his résumé — without success. “When I send my résumés, it’s my curiosity,” he says. “Is this group willing to accept someone who has made genuine t’shuvah?”
After much agonizing, the synagogue where he worships decided to do just that, and allowed him to become an elder. For Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) , it was a moment of bliss.
And what about his recent date over coffee?
“I was surprised at how empathetic she was,” Heschel (AKA: Rabbi Juda Mintz) says, turning upbeat. “It turned out to be a five-hour date.”
There's a new film coming out in June, 2007 called Narrow Bridge, which is written and directed by an extremely talented, young film making by the name of Israel Moskovits.
Israel Moskovits is an orthodox student at Northeastern Illinois University, Chicago, IL. During an interview Moskovits stated he was inspired to create this film after reading about the case of Rabbi Yehuda Kolko. "He had no idea that there was such problems in Jewish communities," yet was motivated to do his part in getting the word out there to help survivors and also to educate those who are unaware.
The story portrays a young man struggling with his Jewish identity and his relationship with Rachel, who is a Baal Teshuva. The script is incredible and very true to live, yet is the fictional story of "Daniel Yaakov Schneider" coming to terms with being sexually abused at a yeshiva when he was twelve years old by "Rabbi Kaufman."
I can't wait until this film is completed and we can all use it as an educational tool. I also feel many survivors of sexual abuse and also those struggling with their Jewish identity will see themselves in this film.
Requesting Honesty in Reporting The Jewish Press has never – not once – excused any abuser or molester, rabbinic or otherwise. To the contrary; the paper has for years run articles, columns and features on all manner of abuse in the Orthodox community in the face of a number of cancelled subscriptions and threats of advertiser boycotts by people who don’t think an Orthodox newspaper should publicize such sordid reality. - Jason Maoz
Lefty Blogger Flunks Basic Honesty
By Jason Maoz, Senior Editor
Last week a left-wing blogger reacted with some indignation to Steven Plaut’s inaugural post on the new Jewish Press blog (shameless plug #1 – you’ll find The Jewish Press Blog at www.thejewishpress.blogspot.com)
That was the blogger’s right, of course, and the Monitor has no issue with that. The problem was the blogger’s predictably dishonest characterization of The Jewish Press.
After dispensing with the obligatory insult, calling The Jewish Press “America’s trashiest Orthodox Jewish newspaper,” the blogger – no need to give him additional publicity by naming him; that information is available on (shameless plug #2) The Jewish Press Blog – writes that the paper is “renowned for excusing the improprieties of rabbinic child molesters and instead attacking their whistleblowers...”
How dishonest is this blogger? The Jewish Press has never – not once – excused any abuser or molester, rabbinic or otherwise. To the contrary; the paper has for years run articles, columns and features on all manner of abuse in the Orthodox community in the face of a number of cancelled subscriptions and threats of advertiser boycotts by people who don’t think an Orthodox newspaper should publicize such sordid reality.
(It was in response to reader discomfort that the paper several years ago moved articles of that nature into a pullout section so that concerned parents could easily separate it from the rest of the paper.)
The blogger’s disingenuousness is further indicated by his use of a hyperlink when he referred to The Jewish Press’s attacks on whistleblowers – but not when he accused the paper of “excusing...rabbinic child molesters.” The reason for that should be obvious – he couldn’t find any such link.
While the paper has indeed editorialized against granting legitimacy to anonymous accusations and anonymous fliers containing unsubstantiated charges, it has, as noted above, never excused abuse or abusers. But by placing that lie in the same sentence with the hyperlinked reference to our editorial stance against anonymous accusations, the blogger planted the impression in readers’ minds that both statements are accurate.
That this blogger knows better can be ascertained by his own words. Last May, The Jewish Press ran an op-ed piece, written by a concerned New Jersey mother, titled “Education Without Strings.” The article minced no words in criticizing yeshivas on a variety of fronts – including their lack of accountability in hiring teachers with questionable backgrounds. Here’s a relevant section of the piece:
“We are all aware of the current controversies involving teachers with questionable backgrounds – controversies that often include allegations of verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. Why are we exposing our children to teachers who have been accused but not investigated? What if allegations about an individual teacher happen to be true and our children are being abused under our very noses?”
Two days after the article appeared on our website and in our print edition, our friend the blogger posted the following comment on his blog, followed by a link to the article in question:
“My sister…wrote an op-ed in this week’s Jewish Press, which, responding to the recent Kolko controversy, presents a laundry list of concerns from Orthodox parents about how their money’s being spent and who’s being allowed to teach their children...”
Well, who’d have thunk it? Leave aside the delicious irony that the writer of the article happened to be this blogger’s very own sister. Did you notice that the blogger himself made the point that the piece was a response “to the recent Kolko controversy”? And how come he didn’t call The Jewish Press “America’s trashiest Orthodox Jewish newspaper” when he was trumpeting its publication of his sister’s article?
If the blogger were sincere, and even if he knew nothing else about The Jewish Press (which of course he does), just the fact that the paper would feature an article like the one written by his sister should have been enough to disabuse him of any notion that it was interested in whitewashing or “excusing” abuse in the Orthodox community. And her piece was only one of dozens The Jewish Press has run in recent years addressing problems all too many Orthodox Jews would rather ignore.
But what does the Monitor know? When not writing this column, he’s just the senior editor of “America’s trashiest Orthodox Jewish newspaper” (the one that ran the article by the blogger’s sister that the blogger was only too proud to plug) and a contributor to (shameless plug #3)
Case of Robert Berezin, Landlord (Brooklyn, NY and Skokie, IL)
Harassed at Home -- by Your Landlord Landlords Prey on Poor Women by Extorting Sexual Favors in Lieu of Rent By Russell Goldman ABC News March 8, 2007
March 8, 2007 — - For four years Mary lived in fear of her landlord, describing herself as a prisoner in her own home.
She went out of her way to avoid him, turning off the lights and TV in her apartment and pretending not to be home every time her doorbell rang, fearing it was him.
At first, she said, he was just "creepy." He sometimes would force his way into her room and poke around, or buzz her apartment from outside to see whether she was home, even though he had keys to the building.
Mary, who asked that her real name not be used, told ABCNEWS.com that her situation took a turn for the worse in 2005, when she was late with her rent.
One night her landlord, Robert Berezin, allegedly made his way into her Brooklyn, N.Y., apartment, pushed her against the door, groped her and forced his tongue into her mouth. When he was leaving, she said, he suggested she could provide sexual favors in lieu of rent.
Landlord Harassment Not Uncommon No national statistics are kept for what lawyers call "sexual harassment in housing." The term, however, encompasses a broad range of landlord misbehavior that includes making lewd comments, stalking, entering homes to watch women while they sleep or shower, extorting sex for rent or repairs, sexual assault and rape.
What is certain, however, is that low-income women are particularly subject to harassment at home and that landlords or their building managers rarely target just one tenant.
In a suit filed by the New York attorney general last month against Berezin, Mary was just one of a dozen young women from three different buildings Berezin and his partners owned lined up to testify against him.
Lawyers for the state write that Berezin typically "grabbed the woman's face and forced his tongue into the woman's mouth. He used his body to restrain and confine her. These unwanted encounters left [his] victims stunned and frightened. Frequently, they yelled, pushed him and took other steps to get him to leave. … After he had sexually harassed them Berezin also told some of his victims that he would 'work something out with the rent.' He told others that he would make some accommodations with the rent if they would agree to go out with him or have an intimate relationship with him."
Berezin, who has since moved to Skokie, Ill., could not be reached for comment.
After her alleged assault, Mary wanted to take action and looked for help at the Fair Housing Justice Center, a nonprofit organization that provides legal advice on issues regarding discrimination in housing.
Diane Houk, the center's executive director, said women living in "low-income, affordable or rent-stabilized housing" were most likely to be harassed. Harassment, she said, is more likely to occur in rental properties than in sales. Poor women cannot afford to pay market rates in competitive housing markets and often must choose between being harassed at home or living on the streets.
"There's an imbalance of power between tenants and landlords," Houk said, and landlords exploit that position of power.
Jill Maxwell, a third-year student at Brooklyn Law School, was not surprised to learn that some of the harassed tenants in Berezin's buildings might have been law students attending her school.
"It goes to show how many women don't know who to tell," she said. Maxwell is in a unique position to comment, as she has just written a soon-to-be published article on the intersection between class and gender in harassment in housing cases.
"Government agencies who serve low-income women need to be more cognizant of sex harassment and incorporate it in the way they deal with landlords," she said.
If Harassed, Who Should You Tell? It is difficult to definitively know how many women are being harassed at home because it often goes unreported. Figures of reported incidents are also difficult to come by because women have a variety of private, state and federal agencies to tell.
Of the 10,000 discrimination in housing complaints the Department of Housing and Urban Development received last year, about 10 percent, or 996 cases, pertained to sex discrimination, said Kim Kendrick, a fair housing and equal opportunity official at HUD. HUD does not, however, distinguish between traditional forms of discrimination and harassment.
Of the 24 sex discrimination in housing suits the Department of Justice has brought against landlords in federal courts since 2001, two-thirds of them related to sexual harassment.
The Justice Department does not prosecute every instance of harassment in housing and will only take a case when a significant number of tenants report abuse.
Some Women Don't Know Their Rights Though women can report harassment to a variety of agencies -- including local fair housing organizations, HUD or their caseworkers if they receive government assistance -- they rarely do.
"Women are likely to get away quickly," Houk said. "They'll break the lease and move rather than report."
"Women who use [government assistance] vouchers or live in rent-stabilized apartments will try to add locks, get a male roommate, or change routines to avoid running into the manager. … The last thing done is complain, in part because no one else is around to see it. … There's a burden on women to prove this happened, and they worry about 'How will I prove it?'"
According to Rigel Oliveri, a law professor at the University of Missouri and a former civil rights lawyer at the Justice Department, some women also don't report harassment because they do not know it is illegal.
"Women realize it's wrong but don't know it's illegal. They don't think they can call the police because they think it's a landlord-tenant problem and don't realize it's a civil rights violation," Oliveri said.
The fact that it is a civil rights issue is at the heart of the matter for the federal government.
"The Fair Housing Act protects against discrimination on the basis of race, national origin and gender. Harassment is an egregious form of discrimination and no woman should be discriminated in her home," said a senior Justice Department official on the condition of anonymity.
In determining cases, courts often look to see whether landlords have created a "sexually hostile living environment." That environment could be created as early as the first time a potential tenant comes to look at apartment.
"This kind of conduct is on a broad spectrum. … Sometimes when a tenant comes applying to rent, a landlord offers a reduction in rent for sexual favors … making a quid pro quo offer," Houk said.
As in Mary's case, it is not uncommon for landlords to harass multiple women over the course of several years.
In one of the most often cited cases in recent years, U.S. vs. Veal, Bobby Veal of Kansas City, Mo., was found to have violated the Fair Housing Act when he demanded sexual favors from 11 tenants and evicted tenants who did not submit to his advances.
In 2005, David Madrid was found guilty of verbally and physically abusing mentally challenged tenants who lived in the group home he operated in Albuquerque, N.M., and threatening to kick them out if they reported him.
Lawyers say it is difficult to press criminal charges against landlords because there is usually little physical evidence and few witnesses. Harassment in housing cases are usually taken up in civil courts, where the burden of proof is less stringent and where tenants can seek financial damages.
In the Veal case a jury awarded compensatory and punitive damages totaling $1,102,804 to 11 female tenants. Individual awards ranged from $10,001 to $310,000. Madrid was ordered to pay the tenants he harassed a total of $67,500.
According to Oliveri, courts can also ban landlords from entering housing units unless accompanied by another person, or require them to turn management of the property over to an independent company.
The New York Attorney General's Office is seeking financial damages for Mary and the other women allegedly harassed by Berezin.
Mary's attorney, Mariann Meier Wang, has also filed a separate individual case seeking further financial damages. Wang says that the stress of "living in fear in her own home" has left Mary "emotionally damaged."
I've gotten a few e-mail's from survivors of incest who were wondering if there are any "survivor friendly" seders out there. If you know of any please contact me. I'll forward the information on.
A few people were wondering if there were any survivor only seders happening anywhere? If not it might be a good idea for those who are having a difficult time to put together. Survivors who contacted me so far are in Los Angeles, Chicago, Monsey, Baltimore and New York City.
FYI: A "survivor Friendly seder" is one where there are other incest survivors or conducted by those who understand the ramification incest can have. It is conducted by individuals who can be accepting of survivors who may have flashbacks and may not feel comfortable staying.
Group of Survivors Asking - Are There Special Prayers?
I was talking with a group of Jewish adult survivors of child sexual abuse. We spent a great deal of time on the topic of davening (praying). This is the first time I was with a group of survivors where we discussed the need to find special prayers one can say to heal from sexual trauma? Not just for ourselves but also for our families and friends who are supportive to us.
I have to be honest, when ever you sit down with a group of Jewish survivors you will often find a great deal of cynicism when the discussions move on to the way our communities have handled child molesters and those who sexually abuse/assault adults. The discussions this past week end were no different. There was a twist though, the group this weekend started asking if there any special prayers we could say asking God to help our rabbis to put the needs of those of use who have been victimized above the needs of the offenders. There was also jokes made about how "we all need to be asking God to help our rabbis to put the needs of the survivors first prior to their own concerns of loosing potential funding by speaking out against crimes against our children."
Just in case you don't remember Rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman was suspended from the Reform movement's rabbinic organization because of sexual impropriety. He was later hired to a top position by a program that sends thousands of young Jews on free trips to Israel. He's now going to be doing a workshop in Austin, TX.
When is it Commanded to Eat Treif? A Taste of Talmud Rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman, Center for Covenental Judaism The Torah and tradition are most clear in prohibiting the eating of non-kosher foods. Yet the Talmud specifies there is a certain circumstance you must eat treif. Who is you and when is when? Come for a taste of Talmud.
During the 4th grade lunch period three 4th grade girls were allegedly punched in the stomach by a lunch room monitor. The girls immediately ran to tell their homeroom teacher and the teacher who hit the girls was immediately fired. It's rumored that the police have been involved but to what extent is unknown. Parents are saying that the school is doing their best to keep the incident a secret. We all need to be aware that child abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse) can occur anywhere, even in places where parents think kids are safe.
The principles name is Karen Moore-Roby. The school counslor's name is Mrs. Quirk. Fulton Elementary School's phone number is: 410-880-5957.
There are many issues surrounding holidays and childhood sexual abuse that have rarely, if ever been addressed in our communities. One of those issues pertains directly to surviving Jewish holidays.
It's not too surprising that many adult survivors of childhood abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse) have difficult times during Passover (Pesach), as this time of the year can bring up painful memories of families get together and that routines are changed. Plus there is the added stress of cleaning your home top to bottom, preparing, and "doing it right." These issues alone can be extremely stress producing; yet in a home where violence occurred, would most likely lead to an increase of abuse.
Parents who are already inclined to use their children as an outlet for emotions and urges, are even more likely to do so when under the pressure of increased anxiety.
Many survivors of childhood abuse report that they were abused more around and over a holiday period then any other time of the year. Remember Passover brings with it--on top of cooking and cleaning--an added financial burden.
This is written as a reminder to all survivors of child abuse -- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It is not uncommon for symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) to emerge this time of year, even after times of relative remission and/or intensify in those already struggling.
It is not unusual for Survivors to experience an increase in disturbing thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks. Thoughts of self-harm, even suicide, may be an issue. The important thing to remember is these feelings are about the past, the abuse is over, and that it is of utmost importance for you to be kind to and gentle with yourself.
Over the years we have spoken to many adult survivors who find it very painful to even consider going to a seder. This is OK. Someday you may feel different, but if the pain is too intense, it is important that you do things that can be healing. Set healthy boundaries for yourself and do what feels safe for you. If you have a rabbi that is sensitive to child abuse issues, discuss these issues with him or her.
One survivor shared that she felt uncomfortable not doing anything for Pesach, so she'd rent the "Ten Commandments" each year on Seder nights and watch it, forming her own ritual of remembering the events that lead to the Seder night. Another survivor would invite other Jewish Survivors over to her home and they would use "The Survivors Haggadah" for their services. Another person used the time before Pesach for "spring cleaning" her relationships--reconnecting with friends with whom she feels safe, airing out the achievements of the last year and making resolutions for added liberation from her past for the coming year. The survivors above found a way to celebrate a "modified" Pesach, but there are many others for who just try to survive this time of year by pretending that there is no such thing as Pesach.
The goal is for you to do things that are healing and brings about an emotional freedom. Remember you are not alone, not wrong, not bad for having second and third and forth thoughts about how to celebrate and if to celebrate the holiday.
Look into yourself and see what you need, then do what you can to do it. Be kind to yourself for needing to make these adjustments. And remember, when Bney-Israel left Egypt to walk toward a new era--they were walking from a place they knew, but was of pain, to a place unknown, but free. The essence of the Seder night is to remember, and ask why, and be expected to understand and participate only to the extent one can.
This is the first set of convictions, there was a second set of convictions in 1997. More information to come shortly. If you know where Rabbi Dee is today please contact The Awareness Center.
Former Portsmouth Rabbi Found Guilty of Sexual Abuse JEWISH CHRONICLE REPORTER Jewish Chronicle (UK) - March 8, 1996
Former synagogue minister Reverend Anthony Dee has been found guilty of sexually abusing two boys and a girl in Blackpool and Portsmouth.
The court also heard that he had admitted to police that he had molested some children in Northern Ireland in the early 1960s.
Dee became minister of Portsmouth Synagogue in 1976. The congregation decided not to renew his contract at the end of 1995.
Following the four-day trial, at Portsmouth Crown Court, it emerged that Dee had sought psychiatric treatment in 1970 to cure his paedophile tendencies.
He denied six charges of indecent assault in Blackpool and Portsmouth between 1966 and 1981, but was found guilty on five counts.
He was cleared of one charge of abusing a girl between 1967 and 1972.
The court heard how Dee pretended to be a man-eating plant to lure one boy into sex games.
He stripped to his string vest and underpants and molested another boy during wrestling matches. A six-year-old girl was abused as she sat on his lap in the bedroom of his Portsmouth home, the court was told. He is due to return to court on March 29 for sentencing. Originally from Luton, Dee moved to Belfast after theological college and later became a shochet in Blackpool in 1964.
He moved to the Hampshire town in 1976 to take up his post as minister, where he was also head of the community's Hebrew classes and was responsible for teaching barmitvah students.
Rabbi Ephraim F. Shapiro allegedly molested boys from the 1940's - until the late 1980's. He was employed as a rabbi at Agudas Achim Anshe Sphard Synagogue and also the Torah Academy (TA), both located in Baltimore, MD
A businessman with rabbinic ordination had a friendly confrontation with another friend, also a businessman. Both men, happily married with families, had been sexually molested while teens by a now-deceased rabbi (Ephraim Shapiro) of an area yeshiva and synagogue. It should be noted that men as old as their mid-60s have contacted the Baltimore Jewish Times about this man.
Up until recently those who are survivors of any form of childhood sexual abuse really had no voice, especially those who were molested by those with any form of authority or power within a community. The following information is to provide information on the political clout that surrounded Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro.
Maryland Proves Once Again That It Is A Sex Offender Friendly State
The state of Maryland has prove once again that it is one of the four worst states when it comes to protecting the rights of those victimized by sex offenders. Last year it was senator Joseph F. Vallario, who is also a defense attorney and very friendly with the Catholic Church that killed the bill to better protect survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This year senator Brian E. Frosh did everything in his power to kill senate bill 575 in the state of Maryland.
Below is a bio on Senator Frosh. I figured since Frosh is Jewish our community members should be making phone calls to him. Let him know how you feel. Is Frosh really representing the people who voted him into office or is he representing the vested interests of organizations and corporations?
Senator Brian Frosh Miller Senate Office Building, 2 East Wing 11 Bladen St., Annapolis, MD 21401 (410) 841-3124, (301) 858-3124 1-800-492-7122, ext. 3124 (toll free) e-mail: email@example.com fax: (410) 841-3102, (301) 858-3102
Born in Washington, DC, October 8, 1946. Attended Montgomery County public schools; Walter Johnson High School; University of Stockholm, 1966-67; Wesleyan University, B.A., 1968; Columbia University School of Law, J.D., 1971. Admitted to Maryland Bar, 1972; District of Columbia Bar, 1972. Attorney in private practice, 1976-. Member, Maryland State and Montgomery County Bar Associations. Board of Directors, State National Bank of Maryland, 1976-85. Board of Directors, Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington, 1983-89. Executive Committee, Wesleyan University Alumni Association, 1986-89. Board of Directors, Hebrew Home of Greater Washington, 1986-94. Director, Clean Air Trust, 1995-. Delegate, Democratic Party National Convention, 2000. Conservationist of the Year, Sierra Club of Maryland, Delaware and District of Columbia, 1989. Lawmaker of the Year, American Lung Association of Maryland, 1991. Public Official of the Year, Audubon Naturalist Society, 1999. Leadership and Outstanding Service Award, Maryland State Bar Association, 2001. John R. Hargreaves Legislative Fellow, Salisbury University, 2007.
Extension of limitations on child sex abuse lawsuits fails by Len Lazarick Examiner March 17, 2007
BALTIMORE - Legislation that would allow victims of sexual abuse as children an indefinite period to file lawsuits against their abusers was killed in the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee on Friday in an 8-2 vote.
Sen. James Brochin, D-Baltimore County, sponsored the bill (SB 575) to make it easier for adults who recognize their abuse later in life to file civil suits. Victims have until they are 25 to pursue lawsuits, though there is no statute of limitations on filing criminal charges for child sexual abuse.
The legislation was opposed by representatives of the Catholic bishops. Brochin offered amendments to limit damage awards to $250,000, but those amendments failed to pass.
Brochin had sought to delay consideration of the bill after he had indirectly heard of Catholic moves to set up a victims’ compensation fund, but the other committee members preferred to kill the bill.
“I realize what’s going to happen on this bill,” Brochin said. He said he realized the other members wanted to “give the archdiocese one more year” to explore remedies.
Domestic Violence: Case of David Abisror - Psychiatrist (Boca Raton, FL)
Religious Divorce Battle Goes Pubilc, Complete With Picket Signs Rebecca Riddick Daily Business Review 03-16-2007
In an unusual twist on a growing religious issue, a Boca Raton, Fla., psychiatrist who refused to grant his ex-wife a Jewish religious divorce has filed suit to stop members of a local synagogue from holding demonstrations in front of his office demanding that he give her the divorce.
On Monday, Dr. David Abisror filed a motion in Palm Beach Circuit Court seeking a temporary injunction to prevent the group from the Boca Raton Synagogue from picketing. He claims the protesters have engaged in libelous and slanderous speech, interfered with his business relationships and created a public safety hazard.
Abisror and his ex-wife, Naomi Baruch, were married 12 years ago in Hollywood, Fla. Two years later, they obtained a civil divorce. But, according to Abisror's motion, he refused to sign a "get" -- a Jewish divorce document -- though he doesn't say why. There are no children from the marriage, and there were no outstanding financial issues, according to their divorce documents.
Baruch has since moved to Israel. Without the get, she cannot date or remarry, according to Orthodox Jewish law, which governs marriages and divorces in Israel. Baruch enlisted Israel's chief rabbi, Shlomo Amar, in her quest to obtain a get. It was through his efforts that the Boca Raton synagogue became involved.
Efrem Goldberg, rabbi of the Orthodox synagogue, said his group planned to continue to conduct small protests of 10 to 15 people this week in front of Abisror's office.
Neither Abisror nor his attorney, Michael Brand of Cole Scott & Kissane in Miami, returned calls for comment by deadline.
The synagogue's attorney, Howard Dubosar of Dubosar & Dolnick in Boca Raton, said "in essence, you have an injunction designed to constrain the First Amendment rights of the synagogue."
First Amendment attorney Thomas R. Julin, a partner at Hunton & Williams in Miami who is not involved in the case, said Abisror faces an uphill legal battle to block the group from demonstrating on public property. "Ordinarily courts will not enjoin protesters who are simply making statements on public property," he said.
NO RECOURSE IN UNITED STATES
Battles over gets increasingly are taking place in civil courts in the United States, including in South Florida. Observant Jewish women must obtain a get from their husband to remarry and have legitimate children, but sometimes their angry husbands refuse.
In Israel, the government can become involved in forcing the hand of a man to sign a get. Husbands who refuse can lose their job and various civil rights and even be sent to jail. In a famous case, a man spent the last 35 years of his life in prison for refusing to sign a get. His ex-wife remarried a month after his death, at age 65.
Most Jewish women in the United States, however, have no recourse if their husband refuses to sign a get. New York state passed a get law in the 1980s that requires all obstacles to remarriage be removed before a civil divorce is granted. A similar bill is proposed in Maryland.
In Florida, state Sen. David Aronberg, D-Greenacres, has sponsored legislation that would do the same.
In lieu of legislation, religious women are turning to the civil court system to find a remedy. Last month, a Dania Beach woman, Karen Gruber-Colp, asked a judge to force her ex-husband to sign a get. Broward Circuit Judge Jack Tuter ordered her ex to sign within days.
Various Jewish women's groups are working to convince rabbinical authorities to adopt a solution to the problem so that individual women no longer have to obtain a get from their husband.
Susan Aranoff, director of Jewish women's group Agunah International in New York City, said that various solutions have been proposed over the past decades that would either eliminate the need for women to obtain a get, or assign the ability to sign the get to someone other than the husband. An agunah is a woman whose husband refuses to grant her a Jewish religious divorce.
But Aranoff acknowledged that the chances for reform are slim because Orthodox religious leaders are patriarchal and view husbands' control as essential to the stability of marriage. "Have you heard of a snowball in hell?" she quipped.
She said change will have to occur from the grass roots rather than from Jewish religious leaders.
PRECEDENT AGAINST HUSBAND
In the Abisror-Baruch case, Chief Rabbi Amar contacted a New York-based group, Organization for the Resolution of the Agunot, to help. That organization in turn contacted Boca Raton Synagogue for help. The synagogue has been staging the protests in order to get Abisror to sign the get. Demonstrators have chanted, "Dr. Abisror, free your wife," and "Dr. Abisror, give your wife a get." Display signs carrying similar messages. The protesters have brandished chains to symbolize Baruch's status as a chained woman.
Goldberg said he tells his group not to go onto the property or into the building, or even to park in the building's parking lot. "We are simply on the sidewalk," he said.
Abisror's motion calls these actions harassment and coercion "rather than communication for any educational or altruistic or philanthropic purpose."
But Dubosar said none of the protesters' statements constitute slander or libel. He noted that nowhere in Abisror's motion does it specify what slanderous or libelous statements were said.
Julin noted that a 2004 5th District Court of Appeal ruling in Animal Rights Foundation of Florida v. David Siegel and Westgate Resorts could apply to this situation.
In that case, Julin represented animal rights activists who were protesting developer Siegel's use of a live tiger to promote his property. A trial court granted Siegel's motion for temporary injunction on the basis of tortious interference with Siegel's business.
The order restricted the number of people who could demonstrate and their location, and blocked them from using bullhorns or shouting. The lower court also prohibited what phrases could appear on signs.
The 5th DCA, however, overturned the injunction on the grounds that it was a prior restraint on free speech and that as long as the protesters did not create a safety hazard, they were free to protest on public property. The court said blocking nonviolent political protests to prevent tortious interference with business violates the First Amendment.
The 5th DCA looked for evidence that the animal rights group was a business competitor of Siegel's or was promoting an economic interest. When it found no evidence of either, the court looked disfavorably on the tortious interference claim.
Abisror's motion states that he filed for a temporary injunction rather than sue for tortious business interference because it would be difficult to measure the damage done by the protests to his business relationships.
Dubosar called the Siegel case a roadmap for this case. Boca Raton Synagogue falls into the same category as the animal rights activists in that it is not a business competitor of Dr. Abisror's, nor is it promoting an economic interest. Its members simply are trying to embarrass him into signing the get.
Julin said Abisror's only real remedy is to sue for libel if he believes the protesters are defaming him.
Dubosar said he plans to pursue a remedy under Florida statute 57.105, which awards attorney fees for baseless legal filings.
Protests in front of offices and homes of men who refuse to sign gets are a measure of last resort, said Yehoshuavev Ross, of the Organization for the Resolution of the Agunot.
But Aranoff contended that the solution to the problem isn't to hold public demonstrations like this. "By demonstrating, they are affirming the husband’s power," she said. "The solution is to disempower the husband. But the rabbis are very reluctant to do that."
Please excuse the impersonal nature of this email, but I wanted you to know that "On the Rabbi's Knee," New York Magazine's feature story from last spring about allegations of molestation against Rabbi Yehuda Kolko of Yeshiva Torah Temimah, has been nominated for a 2006 National Magazine Award under the category of "public service" journalism.
All of us at the magazine are very proud of this story. But most of all we are grateful to David Framowitz, who was so brave in coming forward and speaking on the record about his experiences. Our hope is that this nomination will bring greater visibility to the issues raised in the story.
Many thanks to David -- as well as the many others who were so helpful in publishing this story.
Below is a link to all of this year's nominees for the National Magazine Awards, which are produced by the American Society of Magazine Editors.
Surviving Passover - Jewish Survivors of Child Abuse
Passover is coming in just a few weeks. For many it's a time of joy. For those of us who are survivors of child abuse from within the home, it could be a time filled with bad memories and flashbacks. Over the next few weeks I'm going to post some things that might be helpful. If you can think of other things please forward them to me.
A friend just e-mailed me this video that's up on youtube.com which I think is pretty funny. I hope it brings a smile to your face too!
The Shoel U'Meishiv was Rav Yosef Shaul Nathenson (1810-1875) the rav of Lemberg (Lvov)and and a major posek. In this response he accepted the testimony of two young adults, describing what had been done to them when they were under thirteen which was not said in front of the accused. He also rejected the relevance of a cheskas kashrus (the presumption that a Jew is kosher) since there is no right to be able to become a teacher of children. Discussing the possibility of a sincere teshuva (repentance) he pointed out that if a person denies quilt there can be no teshuva. Yosef Blau
שו"ת שואל ומשיב מהדורה א ח"א סימן קפה
בשנת תרי"ג אירע בעיר אחד נשמע קול על מלמד אחד שמתגורר שם זה שמנה שנים והילדים אשר למדו אצלו בקטנותם וכעת הם בני י"ג שנה ויותר הם מעידים שבקטנותם כאשר למדו אצלו טימא אותם במשכב זכור ר"ל ובקיץ העבר כשנודע הדבר לאיש ירא אלקים צעק צעקה גדולה ומרה ובא הדבר לפני הרב האב"ד והנה לא רצו לקבל גבי"ע =גביית עדות= וזה האיש קבל על עצמו באלה ובשבועה שתיכף אחר הזמן יסע משם והנה אח"כ רצה להיות מלמד בלבוב וכאשר נשמע הקול בלבוב שלח בעה"ב אחד נכבד מכתב להרב אבד"ק והוא השיב כי ישב עם ב"ד לחקור ולדרוש הדבר ולא מצא שמץ פסול עפ"י ד"ת ולא הי' שום בירור על הענין ואין לו לדיין אלא מה שעיניו רואות והמנהג הנ"ל תחת ידו הוא וע"כ הבעה"ב דשם החזיקו המלמד שיהיו שם כי אמרו שהוא אומן והחצוף הנ"ל צווח ככרוכיא שהוא קשר בוגדים שהם קלי הדעת ומה גם שנתן להפו"מ חמשים רייניש כסף על רעקריטרינג וע"כ המה נוגעים בדבר. והנה בפ' וארא הגיעני מכתב עם גב"ע מחותם בחתימת שלשה אנשים נכבדים והעיד אלי איש אחד שמכיר בטב"ע החתימות והעידו שני בחורים האחד הוא כעת בן ט"ו שנה והאחד הוא כהיום בן י"ג שנה ויותר שבילדותם בהיותם לומדים אצלו כבני ט' שנה או פחות היה מטמא אותם במשכב זכור כי היו שוכבים אצלו במטה בחדר אשר דר שם והדברים באו ברוב ענין אשר הוא מגונה להעלות על הספר וזאת אשר השבתי באמת כבר הארכתי בזה בתשובה דלפסול האדם צריך שיהיו שני עדים כשרים והבאתי דברי הפר"ח והריטב"א דלפסול אדם צריך שני עדים כשרים והיא כד"נ וא"כ כאן שהיו קטנים בעת שהיה המעשה ואינם נאמנים להעיד בגדלם מה שראו בקוטנם כמבואר /בחו"מ/ סימן ל"ה רק במילי דרבנן וכאן לפסול את האדם ודאי לא נאמנים אמנם לפמ"ש המהרי"ק והתה"ד וקבעו הרמ"א בש"ע שבמקום שא"צ להיות עדים כשרים נאמנים אפילו אשה וקטן וא"כ בדבר זה שבודאי א"א להיות גדולים וא"א שתהיו עדות בדבר דבלי ספק האיש הלז אף אם הוא רשע ופריץ אבל במסתר מעשהו ורק בילדים קטנים משחק וכמתלהלה בזיקים ואומר הלא משחק אני א"כ פשיטא דנאמנים להעיד ומה גם דאטו אנו רוצים לפסלו לעדות ולשבועה רק דאמרי' דשמא עשה זאת וכבר אמרו בנדה דף ס"א האי לישנא בישא אף דלקבולי לא בעי למיחש מיהא מבעיא ובמ"ק דף י"ח אמרו דהאי לישנא בישא עכ"פ מקצתו אמת וא"כ איפוא אוי לנו שבימינו עלתה כך שיהיה איש כזה מלמד תינוקות של בית רבן אשר הבל פיהם טהור ויש לחוש שהבל פיו הטמא יטמא אותם וע"כ על דעתי שמהראוי להסיר כתר המלמדות מעל ראשו ויחושו לנפשם עד אשר ישוב בתשובה שלימה ובסגופים כראוי ואז ישוב לקבל ד"ח =דברי חבירות= ויהיה לו לכפרה על חטאיו וכ"ז שאינו מתודה על חטאיו לא שייך תשובה כמ"ש התב"ש בסמ"ב והארכתי בזה בתשובה לדראהביטש בדבר השו"ב אשר שם והוגד לי בשם אחד גדול הגאון הצדיק וחסיד מו"ה דוד זצ"ל בעהמ"ח אהבת דוד ויהונתן שפירש בדרך מוסר מ"ש בש"ע המטיל מים מן הצופים ולפנים לא ישב ופניו כלפי הקדש ואמר שקאי על מי שמטיל קרי ואמר שזה מן הצופים ולפנים דעינא וליבא תרין סרסורי דעבירה לזה אמר לא ישב שאינו מועיל תשובה ופניו כלפי הקדש ודפח"ח.
והנה במ"ש למעלה מהך דלישנא בישא אע"ג דלקבולי לא בעי למיחש מיהא מבעיא מצאתי אח"כ במהרי"ק שורש קפ"ח שכתב דדוקא להציל אותם הוא דמותר להמנע אבל לא לענוש אותם שום עונש ולבייש אותם אסור ע"י לישנא בישא אמנם זה דוקא שם שלא היה רק לישנא בישא לבד אבל כאן היה גב"ע אף דאין כאן עדים כשרים עדיף מלישנא בישא ופשיטא דיש למנוע מלתת לו תלמידים כנלפע"ד.
והנה בש"ק פ' תולדות בשנה ההיא הגיעני שני מכתבים המדברים ומליצים טוב על האיש הלז. וזה אשר השבתי לשניהם ביחד מ"ש הרב להתנצל על מה לא קיבל עדות וכתב בתחלה עפ"י דברי מוהר"ם מינץ בתשובה סי' ע"ה שאין לגבות עדות להוציא לעז הנה תשובתו בצידו וכמ"ש בעצמו דשאני כאן דהוא לאפרושי מאסורא ואני מוסיף שכן מבואר גם לענין עדות א' דקי"ל דטוביה חטא וזיגוד מנגד ומבואר בש"ע חו"מ סימן כ"ח דאם הוא לאפרושי מאסורא שרי ומ"ש מעלתו דגוף דברי העדים אינם כלום דהם קטנים כ"כ בזה בתשובתי וע"כ לא הבינותי גם מ"ש מעלתו דהם עדות מיוחדת ולפסול אדם בעי שיהיה עדות אחת דהוה כד"נ =כדיני נפשות= לא הבינותי דאני אמרתי עדיף מיני' דאפילו עדות מיוחדת ליכא ודמי להאי ציידא והנה עתה אשיב כסדר מ"ש על דברתי דלאפרושי מאיסורא ל"צ לגבות בפני בע"ד ומ"ש מעלתו די"ל דבאיסורין כיון דל"צ הגדה בב"ד כמ"ש הגאון בעל נתה"מ בסי' ל"ח ובסי' כ"ח באורך ה"ה דא"צ לקבל בפני בע"ד דדוקא על הב"ד הזהירה תורה לקבל בפני בע"ד הנה גוף סברתו אינו מתקבל כי גם דברי הגאון במחכ"ת לא נהירין כלל ויפה השיב עליו במשובב דרשו משם ואינו רוצה להתווכח עם הגאון מפני עשה דכבוד תורה והנה מ"ש לחלק דדוקא אם אנו באים לפסול האדם מחזקת כשרותו בזה צריכין לקבל בפני בע"ד אבל כאן אין אנו באים רק להרחיקו שלא ילמוד עם תלמידים עד שישוב אין אנו באין לפסול אותו וע"ז כתב מעלתו שלא הבין כלל שיחתי דבכ"מ שאנו פוסלין אדם אינו רק עד שישוב בתשובה ואפ"ה אי אפשר לפסלם ואני אומר דיפה כתב שלא הבין שיחתי דכוונתי בפשיטות דדוקא היכא שאנו מוציאים אותו מחזקת כשרותו בזה אמרינן דסתם כל אדם בחזקת כשרות וא"א לפסלו שלא בפניו ובפרט לקפח פרנסתו אבל כאן אטו נפסל בשביל זה מחזקת כשרותו רק שאנו אומרים שמלמד תינוקות צריך להיות ירא וחרד לדבר ד' יותר משאר בני אדם וכאן אנו רואין דהוא קל ע"כ צריכין אנו להרחיקו שישוב בתשובה שלימה א"כ ע"ז ל"ש שום קבלת עדות שלא בפני בע"ד וכל שנשמע עליו קול כזה כדאי בזיון וקצף שיהיו מלמד שם עד שישוב בתשובה שלימה ומ"ש דכבר נפסלו כיון שקבל עדות שלא בפני בע"ד הנה רואה אנכי שבשביל זה לא רצו לקבל העדות תחלה שאם יקבלו אחרים בודאי לא ירצה לבא לפניהם וא"צ לבא לפניהם וגם מתיראים לקבל עדות וא"כ אף שיקבלו עדות שוב יפסלו אבל לא הועילו בתקנתם דלא קי"ל דעביד איניש לאחזוקי דיבוריה כמ"ש הקצה"ח סי' כ"ח ס"ק ז' וסימן ל"ג ס"ק ב' והקצה"ח האריך בראיות ברורות וכן נכון לדינא כמ"ש בתשובה לק"ק פרעמישלאן ומ"ש על מ"ש בשם מהרי"ק והש"ע סימן ל"ה דנהגו לקבל אף עדות קטן כל דא"א שיהיה שם עדים כשרים וע"ז כתב דבמהרי"ק מבואר שצריך להיות התובע טוען ברי תמהני דשם שייך טענת בריא ומהטעם שכתב מהרי"ק דאל"כ לא שבקת חיי אבל כאן מה ריעותא יש במה שאינם טוענים ברי ואטו היו צריכין לדעת ואנן על זה העדות סומכין ומ"ש דל"ש אין אדם מע"ר =משים עצמו רשע= דרצונו לעשות תשובה וע"ז כתב מעלתו דזה שייך דוקא לגבי עצמו אבל לא לענין לפסול האדם עי"ז מאד תמהני דאטו פוסלין ע"י עדותם דהא באמת עדות קטנים היו אבל העדות לפסול הוא מצד התקנה ומ"ש דשייך פ"ד לא יפה כוון דכאן כשאנו מפלגין דבורא שלא רבע לזה שוב אין כאן שום עדות דבאמת הוא קטן רק דאמרינן מ"מ היו שם ומפני התקנה מקבלים אבל שיעיד שרבע ע"ז לא מהמנינן ליה וז"ב.