Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thoughts For Today

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  1. Give grief time to melt away.
  2. By speaking about your problems, some of them go away.
  3. Be honest with your self.
  4. Dig up questions by the roots.
  5. Knowledge arrives from failed experiements.
  6. Implement your ideas.
  7. Follow your own ideals and you can never be called a coward.
  8. Good friendships go beyond worlds.
  9. Notice and celebrate daily miracles.
  10. You must empty the box before you can fill it again.
  11. Surround yourself with your own reality.
  12. To conquer fear is to summon wisdom.
  13. A leader is judged by their followers.
  14. Things happen to people when they are ready to let them happen.
  15. People tend to hate in others what they hate about themselves.
  16. Success is almost always met with envy.
  17. If you need an honest answer ask an old friend.
  18. Character is revealed in moments.
  19. You become what is in your heart.
  20. Welcome the possiblities.

People Come Into Your Life For A Reason - Author Unknown

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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant .

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Please Just Stop - A Mother Speaks Out!

by an anonymous mother


I can't take it anymore. I can't handle hearing one more story about another rabbi abusing another child or another story of our rabbonim covering up cases. I have walked away from my synagogue. I am no longer at the same observance level.

What's wrong with our rabbis? What's wrong with our communities? Why do we care more about the rights of the molester then we do about the rights of our children and their families? I saw what was happening my community. The one I loved so dearly. Things changed and I had to move away.

I have pulled my children out of their Jewish Day school. I feel safer with them in our new communities local public school system. I can't believe I am doing these things. I don't believe in the system that I once loved.

Warning to Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky & Others Who Lives in Philadelphia, PA

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This should be a warning to all those with authority that other states will follow the lead of Pennsylvania. If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected you must make a hotline report. Let law enforcement conduct the investigations. Our rabbis, cantors and or other community leaders do not have the education, training or experience to do so. -- Vicki Polin
PA Senate Bill 1054 closes loopholes for reporting abuse, and criminalizes the concealing of abuse by an abuser's supervisors. The House version passed last week, 191-1.

The bill also extends, from 30 to 50, the age by which future victims can bring criminal charges against an abuser; expands the state's "Megan's Law" reporting requirement; and requires criminal-background checks of workers at residential foster, adoptive, and family day-care facilities.
New law expands sex-abuse sanctions
By David O'Reilly and Julie Shaw
Philadelphia Inquirer - Wed, Nov. 22, 2006


Gov. Rendell is expected to sign the measure, a response to the grand jury report on abuse of children by clergy.

Heeding the call of the Philadelphia grand jury that investigated clergy sex crimes, the Pennsylvania Senate yesterday approved broad expansions of laws protecting victims of childhood sex abuse.

The bill passed unanimously, and a spokesman for Gov. Rendell said he expects to sign it into law.

Senate Bill 1054 closes loopholes for reporting abuse, and criminalizes the concealing of abuse by an abuser's supervisors. The House version passed last week, 191-1.

The bill also extends, from 30 to 50, the age by which future victims can bring criminal charges against an abuser; expands the state's "Megan's Law" reporting requirement; and requires criminal-background checks of workers at residential foster, adoptive, and family day-care facilities.

Many provisions in the bill were recommended more than a year ago in the grand-jury report on past sexual abuse of children by clergy in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia. The 418-page report offered heartbreaking detail of abuses of children by priests, and cover-ups by church higher-ups. But its authors said state laws prevented them from bringing charges against all but one of 63 priests, living and dead, who were named in the report.

The legislation had a rocky ride, however, and seemed doomed three weeks ago when the General Assembly broke for elections without a House vote.

Rendell's spokesman, Chuck Ardot, said yesterday that the governor "supports the legislation in concept" and will sign it "assuming it contains no surprises."

District Attorney Lynne M. Abraham said the legislature "has given every child a huge Thanksgiving gift." She called it "a sea change" in how sex-abuse cases will be handled.

Abraham, who held a joint news conference with John Salveson, a leading advocate of tougher state laws to protect children from sex abuse, said the new legislation was extremely important because of the loopholes it closes. "No longer does the child need to be the one to report the crime," Abraham said. "Also, no longer does the crime need to occur in a child's home for it to be punished. It can happen anywhere."

The legislation also casts a "wider net of responsibility," she said. "It affects people of other religious faiths, not just the Roman Catholic Church, as well as teacher aides, janitors, and prospective foster parents, among other people who come in contact with children."

Salveson, who has started a group called the Foundation to Abolish Child Sex Abuse, called the bill's passage "a major victory for Pennsylvania's children" and thanked all the victims of childhood sex abuse who - like Salveson himself - came forward and told their stories.

But he said "there's more work to do," in the area of civil law, to expand the number of years in which the state allows a sex-abuse victim to bring a lawsuit for long-ago abuse.

"It's a nice way to begin a holiday that's all about thanks," said Cathleen Palm, executive director of the Protect Our Children Committee, an advocacy group for child-welfare laws.

The bills have had a stormy history. Lawmakers, legislative aides and other advocates for the bill had expressed frustration that the Pennsylvania Catholic Conference, which represents the states's 10 Catholic dioceses, refused to endorse changes in the law.

In August, two former prosecutors who led Abraham's grand-jury investigation wrote an open letter to Cardinal Justin Rigali saying it appeared the Catholic leadership was subverting legislation it claimed to endorse. Rigali's spokesperson disputed this.

Then, on Oct. 24 - two days before the legislature's election break - an unsigned memo circulated among lawmakers complaining that parts of Senate Bill 1054 were too "expansive" and that they targeted the Catholic Church. It warned against a "rush" to adopt the bill.

Paper-clipped to the memo were the business cards of Robert J. O'Hara Jr., executive director of the Catholic Conference, and of Frank "Chick" Tulli Jr., a conference lobbyist. The House leadership pulled the bill from an expected vote the next day, provoking protests from advocates who predicted that it was dead this session.

Tulli later said he had "no knowledge" of the memo. O'Hara deflected questions about it, saying that anyone could have clipped his and Tulli's cards to the memo.

Yesterday, however, Donna Farrell, spokeswoman for the Philadelphia Archdiocese, said the archdiocese "applauds" the legislature's action.

Passage of S.B. 1054 "will increase the responsibilities of individuals and institutions in the reporting of child-sexual abuse and the protection of all of God's children," Farrell said in a prepared statement.

State Rep. Dennis M. O'Brien (R., Phila.), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, yesterday compared the bill to the "Megan's Laws" and similar measures enacted in many states, calling it "the Victims' Law."

"This is the public's way of way of saying to [abuse] victims that it's OK to come forward, that we'll understand," said O'Brien, who pushed hard to get the bill enacted.

In recent weeks the General Assembly has also adopted bills that made Pennsylvania compliant with the federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, approved a standardized rape kit for use in sexual-assault investigations, and doubled the minimum sentences for serious sexual offenses against minors.

If Rendell signs S.B. 1054, it will bring Pennsylvania's reporting laws closer to New Jersey's, which require that any person who has "reasonable cause" to believe a child has been abused must report it to state child-welfare officials or face up to 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine. New Jersey has no statute of limitations for filing criminal charges in sex crimes.

If Senate Bill 1054 Is Signed Into Law...

If signed into law by Gov. Rendell, the bill will:
Close a loophole in the mandatory-reporting law. Until now, anyone designated a "mandatory reporter" of child sex abuse was obliged to report abuse to civil authorities only if a victim reported abuse directly to him or her.

Make it a criminal offense for a person to knowingly conceal or facilitate sex abuse by a person whom they employ or supervise.

Extend to age 50 the time by which a sex-abuse victim may bring criminal charges against his or her abuser. The existing limit is age 30. The extension applies only to abuse after the bill becomes law, and does not extend the time a victim can sue an abuser.

Require criminal-background checks for workers in foster, adoptive and family day-care homes.

Require much more detail about sex offenders to be listed in the "Megan's Law" database, including a physical description of the offender and the make and license-plate number of his car. - David O'Reilly

Contact staff writer David O'Reilly at doreilly@phillynews.com or 215-854-5723. Inquirer staff writer Nancy Phillips contributed to this article.

Agudath Israel's Take On Sex Offenders

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Vicki Polin, The Awareness Center, Inc. / Rabbi Avi Shafran, Agudath Israel

Note From Vicki Polin, executive director - The Awareness Center, Inc. Daily Newsletter

A rabbi wrote to The Awareness Center recently answering some the question we put out regarding what does Jewish law say we should do with a sex offender.

We are currently working on an article with the answers, yet I thought it was important to mention that
the Talmud in Masechet Sanhedrin 73a discusses the law of "rodef" (the pursuer). It rules that a person is obligated to prevent a murder, or a rape of a betrothed (or married) woman, even if the only possibility of preventing the murder or the rape is by killing the would-be murderer or rapist.

The law regarding the would-be rapist only applies to a married woman because these women are forbidden by Torah law to the would-be rapist. We are still looking into what should be done with those who unmarried men and women. Also those who rape or molest our children (both related and non-related offenders). If you have information you would like to share on these topics please forward them to Vicki Polin

Contemporary scoffers, the Mashgiach pointed out, like to accuse the chareidi community of "sweeping things under the carpet." They are right, he explained, but not in the way they mean. "Do they know how many perpetrators" of sins against others "have been dealt with?" No, he explained, because when actions are taken against individuals who have proven themselves untrustworthy, we do not trumpet our actions. Even as we take what steps are necessary to help protect others, we also seek to protect human dignity. And when crimes are asserted but not proven, we are guided not by a mob mentality but by the Torah. That, the Mashgiach declared, is not cowardice but courage.

Thursday Night Plenary Session at Agudath Israel of America's 84th National Convention
by Yated Ne'eman Staff
Dei'ah Ve Dibur, Information and Insight
November 29, 2006
http://chareidi.shemayisrael.com/agudathurs1vyt67.htm

Thursday night's plenary session began with a moving audio- visual presentation dedicated to the devastating fire that Camp Agudah suffered this past summer, and the impressive efforts that, with Hashem's help, helped the camp recover in time to provide campers a truly memorable summer. Rabbi Meir Frischman, the camp director, provided a moving and inspiring chronicle of the events.

The session then turned to an issue both timely and timeless: the imperative to show honor and deference to Torah authority. Against a background of relentless assault on talmidei chachomim and even gedolim, in the street and in the media — and, as noted by the evening's chairman and convention co-chairman Rabbi Dovid Schnell, president of Agudath Israel of Illinois, through the new phenomenon of internet-based weblogs, or "blogs" — the evening symposia's three speakers presented much food for thought.

The session's title was "Torah Wisdom/Torah Authority: Are We Losing the Connection?" and its first speaker was Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman, rosh hayeshiva of Yeshiva Maor Yitzchok and rav of Congregation Ahavas Torah (Monsey).


Generations and Their Leaders

Rabbi Wachsman began by noting that attacks on daas Torah have been with us since the time of Moshe Rabbenu, and that present-day scoffers are but actors in the tradition of Korach, the Tziddukim and the Maskilim. He then offered a perceptive insight into the gemora's account of the experience of Choni Hame'agel, whom Chazal described as having slept for 70 years. Returning to a society that revered his memory and teachings but refused to believe he was who he was, he prayed for death, a request that was granted.

Could Choni, Rabbi Wachsman asked, not simply have proven himself with his Torah wisdom, or begun anew as a teacher of Torah? Here, Rabbi Wachsman contended, we have a most important lesson: Each generation needs to receive its mesorah from its own gedolim. Choni had much to teach to his own generation, and what he taught was passed on to future ones as well, to be sure. But it had to be passed on only through the leaders of each subsequent generation. Dor dor vedorshov.

Thus, Rabbi Wachsman explained, we cannot establish a mode of behavior based on the words of an early authority alone. We cannot look, for example, to the Rambam's words to guide us in how our society should ensure Torah-study, but at the words of Rav Aharon and other gedolim of recent generations and our own generation. That is how mesorah works, he said, and the gedolim of our time must be recognized as those most qualified to interpret, distill and apply Torah truths to the challenges we face today.

Whether the issue was the Bais Yaakov movement in the time of the Chofetz Chaim or Israel's drafting of women in the Chazon Ish's, "proofs" from the gemora and Rishonim proffered by lesser people were not germane; what mattered were the deep understandings, honed by tzidkus and years of intense Torah-study, of the true manhigei hador of each generation.

Those who seek to undermine the deference to Daas Torah demanded of us, said Rabbi Wachsman, are oblivious to the import of that ideal, and can only seek to attribute what they don't understand to "parallels" in larger society — inaccurately comparing, for example, the principle of daas Torah to the Catholic conception of papal infallibility (lehavdil), or chareidi rabbinic leaders to Islamic fundamentalists (lehavdil again).

These misguided individuals do not realize how unique the Jew's relationship to the manhigei hador truly is. To the scoffers, what is latest is by definition what is best; to a Godol, what is new must be scrutinized carefully.


Bringing It All Home

To be sure, Rabbi Wachsman continued, there are certainly issues and situations that need to be addressed by our gedolim. But to blame gedolim, who work so tirelessly and with such great personal sacrifice on behalf of Klal Yisroel and individual Jews, for even real and present communal problems, is something cruel and evil.

In the end, though, the Rosh Hayeshiva exhorted, what is important is not to speak about "them" but about "us." The world without, he explained, is a mirror of who we are. Do we ourselves listen to what the gedolim of our time say only when it is comfortable for us? Pointing to the example of the "simcha guidelines" issued by gedolei Yisroel four years ago, designed to tone down chasunos and related celebrations, the Rosh Hayeshiva asked: "Do we just talk about daas Torah, or live it?"

Rabbi Wachsman's message was clear: When our own deference to gedolim is real and strong, we will be spared the scoffing and worse of those who hate Torah and its exemplars.


Balderdash, Blogs and Bashing

The evening's second speaker was Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, executive vice-president for government and public affairs for Agudath Israel of America. He began by calling attention to the crassly negative tone of political advertisements evident during the period leading up to the recent elections, and presented it as a reflection of larger society's tolerance for what, to a Torah-hashkofoh-tuned mind, is nothing short of forbidden speech.

In American libel law, he explained, "truth is an absolute defense," whereas the prohibition against loshon hora concerns accurate information. And when it comes to public figures, even outright untruths are protected by American law, as long as "actual malice" cannot be proven. How "diametrically opposed," observed Rabbi Zwiebel, is the halachic attitude toward the slander of Torah leaders, which is considered an especially grievous sin. Indeed, he noted, halochoh requires that talmidei chachomim be judged favorably even in situations where other people may not be entitled to the benefit of the doubt.

The Agudath Israel leader went on to note how the societal acceptance of mockery and slander has infiltrated the Jewish world and how Torah scholars and leaders have become the targets of some whose anger and frustrations blind them from both seeing reality and recognizing what is acceptable and what is not.

Rabbi Zwiebel focused on two contemporary manifestations of the problem. One was an ostensibly Orthodox newspaper that demonstrates contempt for rabbonim and gedolim who dare to take a different approach to some political issues from the paper's own, and publishes letters to the editor that openly mock talmidei chachomim. The second was "blogs," and the Agudath Israel leader quoted from one comment left on one such virtual soapbox, which contended that "the best thing about blogging is the anonymity. You could be shaking a rosh yeshiva, rav or rebbe's hand by day and then bash him in the evening."

That, Rabbi Zwiebel contended, well captured the mindset and the evil to which the medium can be, and too often is, put to use.


Our Messages to Our Young

Like Rabbi Wachsman before him though, Rabbi Zwiebel exhorted his listeners to turn inward, and to think about how destructive a thoughtlessly denigrating comment to a child about his rebbe can be. "What message," he asked, "does that send to a child?"

Not only is such denigration indefensible, it is particularly outrageous regarding the dedicated mechanchim of our children, he continued, illustrating his characterization of rabbeim by reading a note his son received from his sixth grade rebbe in which the rebbe took great pains to correct a small error in something he had taught, and apologized to his talmidim for the mistake. "We are so fortunate," the Agudath Israel leader said, "that such people are being mechanech our children."

He went on to show how central the concept of daas Torah has always been to Agudath Israel, and recounted how happy Rabbi Moshe Sherer was when a Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah decision went against the expert advice of a lay panel of experts. "This," he quoted the late president of Agudath Israel of America as having explained at the time, "is why I came to Agudas Yisroel."

"Who would you rather have making such decisions?" Rabbi Sherer had explained. "You and I, or the gedolei Yisroel?"


Subservience to Authority

Citing Chazal's dictum, "Asei lecho rav — Establish a rabbinic authority for yourself," Rabbi Zwiebel declared that even those who do not look specifically to the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah as the ultimate arbiter of daas Torah must nonetheless defer to their own rabbonim. Whatever latitude may be inherent in the "asei lecho" part of the equation, he averred, in no way undermines the ultimate subservience to rabbinic authority inherent in the "rav" part of the equation.

Such subservience requires one to accept the judgment of the rabbinic authority even if it is at variance with his own judgment, Rabbi Zwiebel said. As the Sifsei Chachomim explains on the Rashi in Parshas Shofetim quoting Chazal that one may not deviate from the ruling of the rabbinic judge, "even if he tells you that right is left and left is right," in such situations a Jew is obliged to assume that the mistake in judgment is his own.

Furthermore, even if the rabbinic authority should be mistaken, the Agudath Israel leader stated, it is incumbent upon the community to defer to his judgment — "and not that each person should do as he personally understands, because that will lead to `churban hadas', communal division and total national loss," in the words of the Sefer Hachinuch.


Two Very Different Visions

And so, the speaker concluded, we have two visions before us, "a vision of the people, by the people, for the people, a vision of free speech, freedom of the press, a vision of skepticism and cynicism, a vision designed to find flaws": and a second vision, that of recognizing that there is a hierarchy in Klal Yisroel, that we need the misnas'im al kehal Hashem, and that any attempt to knock them down is ma'aseh Korach."

Today, "more starkly and clearly than ever before," declared Rabbi Zwiebel, "which path we ultimately take will decide whether we will continue to thrive as a Torah community or, chas vesholom, face churban hadas. May it be Hashem's will," he concluded, in the words of the weekday post-krias haTorah tefilloh, "that He preserve among us the sages of Israel, they and their wives, their sons and their daughters, their disciples and the disciples of their disciples, in all their dwelling places, and let us say omein."


Demonstrating Deference

The evening's feature address was then delivered by the Mashgiach of Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood, Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon, who began by noting how the Haggodoh introduces the "four sons" with a reference to Hakodosh Boruch Hu's giving of the Torah to Klal Yisroel. The implicit lesson, the Mashgiach explained, is that only the Torah can provide the tools for knowing how precisely we are to interact with individuals, each of whom must be dealt with according to his own personality.

Rabbi Salomon then proceeded to note that the response the Haggodoh provides for the rosho's challenge is not the one the posuk assigns to the words of the rosho's question in the Torah. What is more, the Mashgiach pointed out, the Haggodoh's response to that son is not couched as an answer, or "amira," at all.

Many answer, Rabbi Salomon said, that the Baal Haggodoh is teaching us not what to answer the rosho, but rather how to react to the derision he voices, not to be impressed with his challenge, to respond by stating a fact that will set his teeth on edge. Thus, the Mashgiach explained, the scoffer, seeing our firmness and determination, may just be shaken, and perhaps brought to do teshuvoh. For we must remember that Klal Yisroel bowed in gratitude at the "besuras habonim" heralded by the rosho's question; bringing reshoim back into the fold, which we can do if we choose our responses correctly, is our ultimate hope.

That our answer to the tam is the same as to the rosho, Rabbi Salomon continued, may imply that we must provide him the answer to use should the rosho scoff to him. For we must strengthen all of our children, and give them the ammunition with which to fight back when their beliefs are attacked.

But, the Mashgiach stressed, echoing the other speakers of the evening, "we did not come here to criticize or attack others, but to strengthen ourselves," to ensure that the "insidious poison" not seep into our homes, to "immunize ourselves" against the plague of anger toward and mockery of talmidei chachomim and gedolei Yisroel.

One suggestion he offered for accomplishing that immunization was to be extremely careful that our Shabbos tables be filled with simcha shel mitzvah and words that bespeak ahavas talmidei chachomim, not, cholila, anything that might be construed as the opposite. "Let our children see whom we respect. Let us be more demonstrative of our deference to authority." Our children, he averred, have to feel that respect and deference, and they can only feel it if we do ourselves.

Rabbi Salomon took pains to declare that we have no complaint against anyone asking questions about our convictions, or even disagreeing — agreeably — with stances we have seen fit to take. But, he explained, when it is done with cynicism and derision, when vulgar language and sentiments are used to denigrate rabbonim, manhigim and talmidei chachomim, "we must rise to their defense."

Even, sadly, when wrong things are done, we cannot stand by when a "broad brush" is used to smear those to whom we look for guidance and daas Torah.

Contemporary scoffers, the Mashgiach pointed out, like to accuse the chareidi community of "sweeping things under the carpet." They are right, he explained, but not in the way they mean. "Do they know how many perpetrators" of sins against others "have been dealt with?" No, he explained, because when actions are taken against individuals who have proven themselves untrustworthy, we do not trumpet our actions. Even as we take what steps are necessary to help protect others, we also seek to protect human dignity. And when crimes are asserted but not proven, we are guided not by a mob mentality but by the Torah. That, the Mashgiach declared, is not cowardice but courage.

As the night's topic is so painful, Rabbi Salomon concluded, and as we cannot even know how many people are influenced by the unwarranted criticism and mockery of Torah-scholars so prevalent today, "it would be fitting to show our response" to the words spoken over the course of the evening "not by clapping" but rather "by standing up, and being mechabeid the gedolei Torah" of our times. That, he declared, is how we have to be mesakein the bizoyon. "We are soldiers. We are mekadshei Sheim Shomayim."

And with that, all in the large assemblage rose from their seats and joined the Lakewood Mashgiach in declaring their allegiance to Torah and its transmitters, loudly and clearly, "Atoh hor'eiso loda'as, ki Hashem Hu ho'Elokim, ein od milevado!"

End of the Report of the Thursday Session

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Rabbi Mordecai Tendler Case Update: Decision and Order Esformes v. Kehillat New Hempstead

Case of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler
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Supreme Court Of The State Of New York
County of Rockland



Morris Esformes, Harry Grossman, Eileen Grossman, Jeffery Friedman, Netzana Friedman, Gabriel M.O Nacca, Osnat Mizrachy Nacca, Joyce Simon, Jack Schranz, Sheila Schranz, Simon Zarour,
Lori Zarour, All Suing Derivatively on Behalf of Bais Knesses of New Hempstead, Inc., AKA Kehillat New Hempstead, The Rav Aron Aron Jofen Community Synagogue,
Plaintiffs,
-against-

Fred Brinn, Seymour Ratner, Bruce Minsky, Schlomo Pomeranz, Jerrold Wolfset, and David Resnick, Individually, and the Board of Directors and Trustees of Bais Knesses of New Hempstead, Inc., AKA Kehillat New Hempstead, The Rav Arron Aron Jofen Community Synagogue,
Defendant,

<>-and-

Bais Knesses of New Hempstead, Inc., AKA Kehillat New Hempstead, The Rav Aron Jofen Community Synagogue,
Nominal Defendant.


Liebowitz, J.

The following documents numbered 1 to 35 were read in connection with the motion of plaintiffs for a preliminary injunction (1) enjoining the defendant Board of Directors and Trustees from taking any action, except in the ordinary course of business; (2) enjoining the defendants from removing, directing or requiring removal of Rabbi Tendler's belongings from the Rabbi's study; (3) enjoining the defendants from taking any action in furtherance of identifying and hiring a new Rabbi, including the formation and activities of a search committee; (4) enjoining the defendants from taking any action in furtherance of changing the name of the Congregation and/or Synagogue; and (5) reinstating Rabbi Tendler as Rabbi pursuant to the contract

Order to show Cause, Affidavits and Supporting Pagers 1-12
Opposing Affidavits and Supporting Papers 13-28
Reply Affidavits and Supporting Papers 29-35

Upon a review of the voluminous papers submitted in support and in opposition to the motion, and after hearing extensive oral argument from both sides, the Court denies plaintiffs' application for a preliminary injunctions in all respects. Plaintiffs' application cannot be decided by applying neutral principles of law, and therefore would require impermissible inquiries into the operation of the Congregation and religious doctrine. Congregation Yetev Lev D'Satmar, Inc. v Kahana. 820 N.Y.S. 2d 62, 31 A.D.3d 541 (2nd Dept., 2006).

On the basis of the foregoing, it is hereby
ORDERED that plaintiffs' motion for a preliminary injunction is denied in all respects.

This constitutes the Decision and Order of this Court

Dated: New City, New York
November 22, 2006

Richard B. Liebowitz
Supreme Court Justice


Paul Savad & Associates
Attorneys for Plaintiffs
55 Old Turnpike Rd - Suite 209
Nanuet, New York 10954


Catalano Gallardo & Petropoulos, LLP
Attorney for Defendants
Fred Brinn, Seymour Ratner, Bruce Minsky, Schlomo Pomerantz, Jerrold Wolfset and David Resnik, Individually, and as Directors and Trustees of Bais Knesses of New Hempstead, Inc.
100 Jericho Quadrangle
Stuite 214
Jericho, New York 11753

A Challenge To All Rabbis Connected To Agudath Israel

"You can bring a horse to water, yet you can't make them drink."

How do we encourage the rabbis connected with Agudath Israel to change their ways when it comes to dealing with allegations of sex crimes? How can we make them see that they have been adding to the problems? Considering the number of cases being uncovered that were mishandled (on an almost daily basis), one would think they would jump at the chance to sincerely ask for help?

I'll admit that there are small groups out there that are very gently and slowly trying to educate our rabbis. The problem is that this method is not appropriate due to the immediate dangers involved to unsuspecting individuals who are about to become the next victim of a sex crime. Each day that goes by at least one more child or adult is becoming the newest victim.

Next time you see one of the rabbis or individuals listed below, ask them:
  1. How many more victims do we need to create?
  2. How many more individual lives need will be altered in a way that could result with them battling symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, severe depression, eating disorders, addictions or even suicide?"
I don't want to say we are at war with our rabbis, yet we are at war with their ignorance and their refusal to change.

If our rabbis really care and really want to protect innocent people they need to make the necessary changes today!

Please look at the list below. If you know any of the individuals listed, encourage them to see the documentary called "Deliver us from evil." It's about a case of clergy abuse with in the Catholic Church. I personally feel it is mandatory for all rabbis of all movements in Judaism to see.

The most serious problem of cover-ups and shaming and blaming survivors seem to be in the charedi world. They definately lack the education needed and we all need to help them open their eyes. We all need to demand that the following rabbis and other individuals watch the documentary
"Deliver us from evil." These individuals need to report back to us explaining how the ways they have been handling allegations of sexually abusive rabbis is any different then the way the Catholic Church has been handling cases of sexually abusive priests?

I understand that this may seem controversial to demand our rabbis to go to a movie theater, for this reason I will personally arrange for private viewing of the documentary (Deliver us from evil) .

  1. Rabbi Labish Becker
  2. Rabbi Aharon Feldman
  3. Rabbi Moshe Heinemann
  4. Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer
  5. Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky
  6. Rabbi Sheftel Neuberger
  7. Rabbi Yaakov Perlow
  8. Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon
  9. Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg
  10. Marvin Schick
  11. Rabbi Avi Shafran
  12. Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman
  13. Rabbi Beryl Weisbord
  14. Chana Weinberg
  15. Rabbi Noah Weinberg
  16. Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel

Rabbi Zwiebel says:
"In recent years, though," the Agudah leader observes, "due to a variety of factors, the authority of daas Torah has been significantly undermined, even within our own chareidi circles. Most troubling has been the proliferation of Internet 'blogs' where misguided individuals feel free to spread every bit of rechilus and loshon hora about rabbonim and roshei yeshiva, all with the intended effect of undermining any semblance of Torah authority in our community. It is most appropriate for an organization like Agudath Israel, whose very essence was built on the recognition of the authority of Torah leaders, to address this issue head on, and formulate concrete plans to reinvigorate public awareness of this essential element of the Torah way of life."

Monday, November 27, 2006

Rabbi Philip Jacobs is Absolutely Correct about Benny Sela

The image “http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/BennySela1.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Benny Sela - Escaped Prisoner

'All the sexual offenders have a very quick mind'
By JASON TAITZ
Jerusalem Post
November 27, 2006


Even Prisons Service Chaplain Rabbi Philip Jacobs got a sense he was being conned by serial rapist Benny Sela.

Jacobs, one of the few regular visitors Sela had during his confinement at Nitzan Prison, recounted to The Jerusalem Post Sunday how Sela frequently contacted him, asking him for help. "He would regularly ask me for prayer books, candles for Friday afternoons, and once asked me to bring him a Bible," Jacobs recalled.

"My gut feeling was that he was trying to be manipulative when calling me, and just seeking attention from professionals," Jacobs explained. "Criminals like him would try to entice staff into conversations, but my communications with him was mostly professional, which was intentional on my part."

Jacobs said he had conflicting thoughts about Sela's ability to rehabilitate himself. "My hope as a rabbi and as a believing Jew was that Sela and others like him had some spark of humanity left in them. Unfortunately, I didn't feel that most of my serial rapists expressed any true remorse. They felt that what they did was justified, or that it was they who were the victims."

Jacobs, who authored the book True Stories of Hope and Redemption: Memoirs of an American Karate Champ Turned Israel Prison Chaplain - Israel Behind Bars, said based on his unsuccessful 1999 prison escape, police were aware that Sela might try it again. "My feeling was that those criminals serving long sentences like Sela never gave up hope of escaping and were not resigned to a life in jail. The Prisons Service is aware of that."

Sela's exploitation of his chance to escape did not surprise Jacobs. Prisoners like Sela, he said, had a very high IQ, Jacobs said, but had "a warped intelligence." He added: "All the sexual offenders have a very quick mind, are very manipulative, and are quick-tongued."

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Kabalove - Is This Judaism? A cult?

A friend of mine made me aware of this group some time ago. I've been watching it on and off ever since. There have never been any complaints of sexual misconduct, yet their web page concerns me. I've heard rumors that it's founder "rabbi" Ohad Ezrahi is a disciple of "rabbi" Mordechai Gafni.

Below you will find the bio of the founder and the most recent e-mail. Let me know if you think this group represents Judaism?




Bio on the Founder of "Kabalove"
Ohad Ezrahi: was born in 1965, a father of three kids. Entered into the Hasidic world when he was 18 years old, after spending most of his youth in the Negev desert of Israel, studying ecology and dedicating his time for Buddhism and meditation. In the Yeshiva world he had learned Talmud, Halacha, Midrash, Hasidism and Kabalah. He was sent by one of the most important hasidic leaders of today to learn Lurianic Kabala in the traditional Kabalist-Yeshiva "SHa'ar Hashamayim" (= "The Gate of Heaven"). Ohad thought Torah for several years within the yeshiva world. He was a Rabbi and a teacher of Kabalah and Hasidism in the most progressive and advanced institutes of the modern orthodox movement in Israel. Ohad was a close student of the Kabalist Rabbi Yitshak Ginzburg, and together with his fellow students he was part of the pioneer group that had established the community of Bat-Ayin in 89, where he had lived with his family for 12 years, making his living mainly from computer graphics and animation, while taking courses in the Hebrew University in Jewish Philosophy, Kabalah, literature, comparative religions and general philosophy.

At the end of the 90's he graduated from orthodoxy. He spent a semester as a fellow scholar in the Rockefeller fellowship "Science, Gender and the Sacred" in the University of Oregon in Eugene. In 2000 he opened HAMAKOM as a new spiritual community, that is dedicated to the renewal of spirit in Judaism. Hamakom had its first Yeshiva-Ashram in the Judean desert, where thousands of people from Israel and from all over the world came to study, spend time in a spiritual community and take workshops.


Here's the latest e-mail from the group that was forward to me:

Shalom dear friends
Two short and exiting things:
1. in Hanukah we will host our Shaman friend Itzhak Beery from NYC, in a workshop (Hebrew-English) dedicated to the work of NINA - the Sacred Inner Fire. See details below.
2. in March and a bit of April we (dawn and I) plan on being in America. Our teaching tour will take us to NYC, New Mexico, and California. (maybe even more west than that - to Hawaii : we have a feeling we need to go there and will be happy for contacts for visiting and teaching KabaLove there...).
We will send more details soon, and update our website with the new info.
please visit us at www.kabalove.net
hope to see you all soon, here, there and everywhere
Ohad

Nina- The Sacred Fire

A special Hanukah Shamanic gathering

with Itzhak Beery and Rabbi Ohad Ezrahi

Rosh Pina - December 22-23

In Quechua, the Inca language, the Sacred Fire is called Nina. It resides in the lower part of our body and is associated with the giving of life, internal power, passion, and sexual energy. There is no word for sex in Quechua. Instead, two people who are engaged in the act of sharing the Nina are merging the two most powerful universal energy sources of Father Sun, and that of Mother Earth’s magma core.

As winter days grow shorter and nights grow longer and darker, so do our thoughts, energy and moods. We start to look deeper into our own shadows and fears. In this workshop we will get in touch with our dark side by igniting Nina, the spark that reside in our own body and soul. We will uncover and remember the light within us. We will celebrate the joy and happiness with a release from darkness into the magic of light.

Throughout Friday and Saturday we will celebrate the power of Nina. Using ancient shamanic techniques we will journey to connect to Nina’s soul and power. We will engage in rituals, give her offerings and sacrifices in a fire ceremony. We will move and dance in order to free ourselves from obstacles and integrate her power into our lives.

Early Saturday morning we will invoke and welcome the power of the Sun with a special Inti Raymi (sunrise) ceremony and ancient body exercises.

Come join us at Rosh-Pina to meet your Nina and live with passion.

For registration contact Rabbi Ohad Ezrahi

077-427-7773 cel. O52-610-9713

e-mail: kabalove@013.net

Or contact Itzhak: ibeery@yahoo.com

Public Statement by JWB on the Recent Agudath Israel of America Conference for Public Distribution

By Jewish Whistleblower (JWB)
November 25, 2006


JWB: Agudath Israel of America must clarify statements being attributed to it on the issue of the abuse of children, particularly comments about sweeping incidents of child abuse "under the carpet".

As discussed by Rabbi Gil Student and in comments on his blog, Hirhurim, statements concerning child molestation were attributed to the leadership of Agudath Israel of America last week at their convention. I call on the leadership of Agudath Israel to publicly clarify and address those comments in detail as well as a putting forth a concrete National and International policy with a formal mechanism to protect our children, brothers and sisters from sexual predators.

JWB
Jewishwhistleblower
http://www.jewishwhistleblower.blogspot.com<>
<>see:
Per Gil Student (except for the editor's note):
  • Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman made a number of statements that imply he knows very well what topics are discussed on blogs. I think he might have dinged me twice, but I'm not sure. [Once, if it was a reference to my recent post on the Rambam, is an understandable misunderstanding because I have not yet said, but will be"H soon be saying, "Eis la'asos la-Shem" on the subject.]
  • Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon was surprisingly restrained.
  • Both Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel and Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon offered explicit statements of general tolerance, Rabbi Zwiebel in saying "Aseh lekha rav" and Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon in saying that questions and critiques that are respectful are acceptable [I think that's what R. Salomon said. I have to listen to a recording -- which I have -- to verify.]
  • Clearly, a certain blogger was the villain of the evening. I won't name him, but let's just say that he goes by a three-letter acronym containing two vowels. I looked around but did not see that blogger there. [editor and not Gil: UnorthodoxJew (UOJ)]


Selected Comments (those signed Gil are from Rabbi Gil Student, the others are anonymous):
_____________________________________________________________
I apologize, first of all, for writing anonymously, but I too was there, Gil, and I too have to collect my thoughts before I write under my name.

I didn't hear Rabbi Solomon say respectful questions and critiques are acceptable, but maybe you're right, Gil, and maybe I'm wrong. I heard him say blogs are a "plague" and an "insidious...poison" that has entered our homes. At one point, he did obliquely refer to the UOJ/child abuse problem, and I give him credit for that. Criticize some rabbis, he said, not all of us, so perhaps that is what you're referring to.

He said we don't know how many hours rabbis have dedicated for dealing with perpetrators, but acknowledged some cases have slipped through our fingers, and demonstratively held up his hand. He said some cases should be swept under the rug, when the Torah tells us to sweep it under the rug.

I heard Rabbi Wachsman come out unconditionally against blogs - he said, "No excuses". He told the story of a kehilla where some of the baal habattim appointed a dayan without first asking the town Rav, and the Rav then said those baal habattim should die within a year. I'm not 100 per cent if R' Wachsman told this story, or R Solomon. This is the meaning of daas Torah, and rabbinic authority. Rabbi Wachsman uttered only one word about "grievances", and that was the word. On the other hand, he uttered the words "mesorah" and "laytsim" many times.

I'm still giving this thought, and maybe I'll write under my name, and maybe not, but the point they all missed was not that the Jews are losing respect for their rabbis, and blogging is a cause and/or symptom. F'kert. It is because the Jews have such great respect for rabbis, and Torah learning, that many of us have taken to the blogs to vent our protest. It is always peaceful, often intelligent, and even mostly respectful, albeit with major exceptions, but this is what is agitating people.

As far as the mood of the crowd there, I don't think the three speakers captured their emotions at any point. There was no spontaneous crowd response at any point. Maybe others will differ, I don't know.

I would love to see a transcripts.
Ploni ben Avrohom | 11.24.06 - 11:01 am | #
____________________________________________________________

"He said some cases should be swept under the rug, when the Torah tells us to sweep it under the rug."
This is a troubling statement, if indeed Rabbi Solomon did say this and is not being misquoted. I don't know how you can "sweep under a rug", even a single claim of molestation. Every Jewish soul is precious and by not acting swiftly and definitively, you are potentially causing others to be harmed.

The passuk states regarding a man or woman who is accused of idolatry:
"Vedarashta heiteiv vehineh emet nachon hadavar neestah hatoevah hazot beyisrael. Vehotzeta et haish, etc."

Now we know that a homosexual act between two consenting adults is also called a "toevah", an abomination. How much more so is child molestation a "toevah". And we see that when there are accusations of a "toevah" being committed, it is the responsibility of our leadership to thoroughly investigate. If the allegations are indeed true, then the perpetrator must be dealt with accordingly. There is no "sweeping under the rug" in such cases.
steve | 11.24.06 - 1:02 pm | #
____________________________________________________________

>This is a troubling statement, if indeed Rabbi Solomon did say this and is not being misquoted. I don't know how you can "sweep under a rug", even a single claim of molestation.

Steve, I'll requote it with the proper emphasis.

"He said some cases should be swept under the rug, when the Torah tells us to sweep it under the rug."

Still troubled?
ed | 11.24.06 - 1:21 pm | #
____________________________________________________________
"He said some cases should be swept under the rug, when the Torah tells us to sweep it under the rug."
This is a troubling statement, if indeed Rabbi Solomon did say this and is not being misquoted. I don't know how you can "sweep under a rug", even a single claim of molestation. Every Jewish soul is precious and by not acting swiftly and definitively, you are potentially causing others to be harmed.

The passuk states regarding a man or woman who is accused of idolatry:
"Vedarashta heiteiv vehineh emet nachon hadavar neestah hatoevah hazot beyisrael. Vehotzeta et haish, etc.

Now we know that a homosexual act between two consenting adults is also called a "toevah", an abomination. How much more so is child molestation a "toevah". And we see that when there are accusations of a "toevah" being committed, it is the responsibility of our leadership to thoroughly investigate. If the allegations are indeed true, then the perpetrator must be dealt with accordingly. There is no "sweeping under the rug" in such cases.

R. Salomon meant that was is swept under the carpet (not rug) is when they take steps against an offender but keep it quiet to protect the innocent individuals involved. He did not mean that an offender should be left alone and his acts swept under the carpet.
Gil | Homepage | 11.24.06 - 1:24 pm | #


____________________________________________________________

Yes, I am still troubled. Where does it say in the Torah to sweep such cases under the rug?
I asked a friend who was there last night if he indeed said this. According to his recollection, Rabbi Salomon said that the rabbis are being accused of sweeping these cases under the rug. In the meantime, nobody knows the tens of cases that they dealt with definitively, because those cases were also swept under the rug.
steve | 11.24.06 - 1:29 pm | #
____________________________________________________________
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rabbi Salomon meant that was is swept under the carpet (not rug) is when they take steps against an offender but keep it quiet to protect the innocent individuals involved. He did not mean that an offender should be left alone and his acts swept under the carpet."

Thank you, Rabbi Gil. Now I am less troubled.
steve | 11.24.06 - 1:31 pm | #

____________________________________________________________
Gil is correct. This was the clear intent of Rabbi Solomon.
In another forum, Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Levine, Telshe Chicago R"Y, and Moetses member, said, We can't sweep these cases under the rug anymore, there's no more room.

So what did Rabbi Levine mean? That in the past, we weren't sufficiently focused on addressing abuse, we thought each case was an aberration, and we would even turn our eyes away; now, because of the rising caseload, we understand we were mistaken, and we must address it.
Ploni ben Avrohom | 11.24.06 - 1:46 pm | #

Friday, November 24, 2006

Is there any connection between Achi Ben Shalom and Rabbi Mordechai Gafni?

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Achi Ben Shalom / Marc Gafni

I was reading the articles out there about the new allegations made against Achi Ben Shalom. I started wondering if there is any sort of connection between him and Rabbi Marc Gafni. I have absolutely nothing to base this on with the exception that Gafni's ex-wife has been based in San Francisco for several years and at one time Gafni took a stab at becoming a "rock star".

Below is a list of other alleged and convicted sex offenders that had been trusted performers in Jewish communities:
  1. Shlomo Carlebach
  2. Philip Friedman
  3. Stuart Friedman
  4. Sidney Goldenberg
  5. Joel Gordon
  6. Mark Horowitz
  7. Howard Nevison
  8. Stanley Rosenfeld
  9. Robert Shapiro
  10. Michael Segelstein
  11. Yeedle Werdyger
  12. Adam Wexler
  13. Hershy Worch
  14. Phillip Wittlin
  15. Peter Yarrow

Child abuse case still pending trial four years after initial complaint

By Ruth Sinai
Haaretz
November 24, 2006


Almost four years have passed since the sister of a 10-year-old boy filed an abuse complaint on her brother's behalf against the uncle who regularly beat and emotionally abused him. Legal proceedings in the case have been continually delayed, and the uncle has not yet been tried. The alleged victim's sister also claimed she suffered abuse at the hands of the uncle.

The uncle was charged three years ago, but a series of delays, some initiated by the defendant and some due to court foot-dragging, have put the now 14-year-old boy through a long and rigorous ordeal.

The uncle was charged with assault in November 2003, some 10 months after the complaint was originally filed. The Jerusalem Magistrate's Court scheduled a hearing for March 27, 2005, one year and four months after the indictment.

In February 2005, the defendant asked to postpone the hearing until after the Jewish holiday of Purim, so that he could properly celebrate the holiday. The court rescheduled the hearing for April 10. The hearing took place as scheduled, but the defendant did not have proper representation, so the proceedings were again postponed.

The following hearing was scheduled for November 20, 2005, exactly two years after the indictment. On the day of the hearing, the prosecution and the defense requested another delay in an attempt to reach a settlement. The hearing was again postponed, this time for December 6, 2005.

This hearing was then postponed, because it was scheduled for the same day that the Jerusalem District Prosecutor's office was slated to participate in an education program. The next hearing was scheduled for April 24, 2006. Shortly after the date was set, the defense attorney recused himself and the hearing was postponed until May 22.

At this hearing, the defendant denied the allegations against him and a hearing for the presentation of the evidence was scheduled for October 24, 2006. After the victim underwent preparation for his testimony, he was barred from testifying at the hearing due to another postponement, this time because the defense attorney had fallen ill and lost her voice. The next hearing is set to take place on December 25.

Dr. Yitzhak Kadman of the National Council for the Child in Israel wrote the director of the Courts Administration, Justice Moshe Gal, a letter in which he condemned the repeated delays.

"One can only imagine what this boy must be going through," Kadman wrote. "He is a victim of a crime and his interests have been postponed and pushed aside regularly by the judicial system, and his childhood is passing him by in tense anticipation of the trial."

Kadman also mentioned that children are naturally hesitant to report abuse, and the "inconceivable torture" suffered by the victim is detrimental to efforts to encourage other children to come forward and report abuse.

He asked Gal to find a way to expedite proceedings where minors are involved, especially in cases of sexual and physical abuse within the family.

‘Jewish Interpol’ Should Include Sex Offenders!

If they can create a Jewish Interpol on the topic of Domestic Violence they can also expand it to include sexual predators. Below is just ten examples:
  1. Rabbi Lipa Brenner
  2. Rabbi Ephraim Bryks
  3. Rabbi Benyamin Fleischman
  4. Rabbi Marc Gafni
  5. Former Oregon Governer - Neil Goldschmidt
  6. Rabbi Alan Horowitz, MD
  7. Rabbi Avrohom Mondrowitz
  8. Rabbi BenZion Sobel
  9. Rabbi Matis Weinberg
  10. Rabbi Hershy Worch
____________________________________________________________________________________

‘Jewish Interpol’ to be launched in Europe
European Jewish Press, Belgium
November 21, 2006
http://www.ejpress.org/article/11797

Photo: Rabbi Yisrael Yaacov Lichtenstein, Dayan (religious Jewish judge) who heads the Rabbinical Court of the Federation of Synagogues in London

BRUSSELS (EJP)--- A “Jewish Interpol” is set to be launched in Europe, with the aim of ensuring that information about Jewish men who refuse to grant their wives a religious divorce is transferred immediately to the continent’s rabbinical courts.

The proposal is expected to approved at a judicial conference of Jewish religious judges organised by the Rabbinical Centre of Europe, to be held at the start of December in Brussels.

This new revolutionary enterprise is likely to cause dramatic changes throughout Jewish communities.

Many judges are encountering situations where men, who refuse to grant their wives a religious divorce despite being ordered to do so by rabbinical courts, are deciding to flee elsewhere in order to avoid enactment of a verdict and continue living a Jewish life in a place where their past is unknown.

Unavoidable decrees

The “Jewish Interpol” will become the long arm of the Jewish law. It will create a situation whereby the person will be forced to fulfill the verdict and will award the decree a valid stature.

The Brussels-based Rabbinical Center of Europe have confirmed reports that a rabbinical conference, to be attended by Jewish religious judges from around the world, will take place in two weeks.

A spokesman said that the Interpol will collect information from all rabbinical courts and will be based at the Rabbinical Center of Europe. This information will then be passed on to the leaders and Rabbis of Jewish communities.

This recommendation, said the spokesman, will probably be placed at the centre of the discussion panel, "in light of the many requests regarding divorce refusers not paying heed to court verdicts and enjoying the services of another community”.

“The new initiative is bound to put an end to the anarchy," the spokesman added.

The source also revealed that the European Parliament invited the judicial conference to hold part of their discussions in the judicial hall of the parliament.

It is yet unclear which of the topics to be brought up for discussion will be held in the European parliament in Brussels and with the participation of which persons from the European government.

It is also known that the convention has aroused interest amongst the judge’s community and will deal with subjects including the status of the private investigators and written refusal.

Rabbinical anticipation

Rabbi Yisrael Yaacov Lichtenstein, a "dayan" (religious Jewish judge) who heads the Rabbinical Court of The Federation of Synagogues in London , England , was excited to hear about this major project.

“This is an effective method to help the problem of Agunot (chained wives) that has proven to be effective in the past,” Dayan Lichtenstein said. “We call upon all parties worldwide to assist us in this project”.

Characteristics and Behavioral Indicators of Adults Who Molest Children

  • Only 10% of sexual assault victims report the abuse.
  • 99% of the time, the offender is someone the family knows and trusts.
  • On average, people who molest children have 75-150 victims.
  • 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by the age of 18.
  • The average age of first offense for sex offenders is 14.

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Characteristics and Behavioral Indicators of Adults Who Molest Children

Washington Sex Offender Registry



When most people imagine a child molester, they picture some ugly, old man in a trench coat coaxing children to come to him in exchange for some candy. They don’t picture Uncle Joe or Aunt Lorraine, the neighbor next door, the friendly parishioner, another family member, or trusted co-worker. They don’t think of mom or dad or in the case of single parents their significant other. This misconception has been effectively dispelled through information obtained in thousands of child sexual abuse investigations over the years. Child molesters come from all walks of life and from all socioeconomic groups. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious or from any race. Children can be molested by persons they don’t know, relatives, friends, or caregivers.

Both men and women molest children, although the majority of those identified, and prosecuted for a sex offense, are men. Adults who molest children can generally be divided into two groups, according to their behaviors. A small percentage may suffer from a lifelong exclusive attraction to children and have little or no emotional interest in adult partners. The majority is not exclusively attracted to children, have adult emotional relationships, and have not molested multiple child victims. The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn’t be farther from the truth. Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation and persuasion and are known to the child.

The child molester who is not known by the victim may use a variety of methods to gain access or gain the confidence of the victim. He may use force, fear, bribery, or tricks. He may pretend or appear to be friendly and trustworthy. Often he gains access to children in public places, such as playgrounds, parks or shopping malls. Through the experience of law enforcement investigators, treatment providers, and research, some common behavioral indicators have been identified and are described below.


Behavioral Indicators of Men and Women Who Have Molested Children
CAUTION: Some people who have molested or plan to molest a child exhibit no observable behavior pattern that would be a clue to their future actions.
Person who molest children:

1.
Are aware, in most cases, of their preference for children before they reach age 18. Most offenders are adult males, but some women also molest children.

2.
Are usually married. A small number never marry and maintain a lifelong sexual and emotional interest in children.

3.
May relate better to children than adults and may feel more comfortable with children and their interests.

4.
May have few close adult friends.

5.
Usually prefer children in a specific age group.

6.
Usually prefer one gender over the other; however, some are bisexual in their preferences.

7.
May seek employment or volunteer opportunities with programs involving children in the preferred victim age group for this type of offender.

8.
Pursue children for sexual purposes and may feel emotionally attached to the extent that emotional needs are met by engaging in relationships with children. Example: An adult man spends time with neighbor children or relatives and talks at length about his feelings for them or his own feelings of loneliness or loss in order to get the child’s sympathy.

9.
Often photographs or collects photographs of their victims, dressed, nude, or involved in sexual acts.

10.
May collect child erotica and child-adult pornography which may be used in the following ways:
To lower the inhibitions of the victims.
To fantasize when no potential victim is available.
To relive past sexual activities.
To justify their inappropriate sexual activities.
To blackmail victims to keep then from telling.


11.
May possess alcohol or narcotics and furnish them to their victims to lower inhibitions to gain fear.

12.
Talk with children in ways that equalize their relationship.

13.
May talk about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or partner.

14.
May seek out organizations and publications that support his sexual beliefs and practices.

15.
May offer to baby-sit or take children on trips in order to manipulate situations to sleep with or near children or bathe or dress them.

16.
May be seen at parks, playgrounds or places frequented by children or teenagers.


Interfamilial Child Abuse (Incest)
The incestuous or interfamilial molester is usually an adult male (father, stepfather, grandfather or live-in boyfriend of the mother); however, mothers or other female caregivers also sexually abuse children. The molestation is usually secretive and is sometimes accomplished through misuse of power, mental duress, bribes, tricks or misuse of parental role under the guise of sex education and threats.

Common threats may include: That the child would be removed from the family if they do not succumb to the offenders wishes; that they would be blamed for hurting the family if the offender is arrested; that their siblings would be sexually abused if the victim does not consent. Often the offender will portray to act needy or emotionally distraught as a result of marital problems, thereby needing the attention of the victim.

The molestation usually occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim’s adulthood. Through intimidation, the child is made to feel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or within the immediate family.

There are many situations where a family with children can be vulnerable, such as single parent families where the parent has a full time job and is attempting to fulfill the role of both parents as well as run the household or in situation where family conflicts leave a child feeling alienated or abandoned. Some male offenders seek out mothers who are single parents for the purpose of victimizing their children. In these cases, he may have a genuine attraction to the mother and the hidden agenda of pursuit of the children as victims.

Children from all types of families can be vulnerable to child molestation. Any child whose need for attention or affection are not being met can be particularly vulnerable. It is important to remember that because adults have power over children; any child can be at risk.

Talking to Your Children
Because children get their power through secrecy the single most effective means of protecting your child is communication with your child. They have to feel comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you. If they feel they can talk with you about their true feelings and that they will not be “put down” for it, then they will be more likely to tell you when they are put in an uncomfortable situation by a child molester. Also, children need to know that there are many adults who can help if they have a problem. The handout “Personal Safety for Children” and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children pamphlet “Child Protection”, give you excellent examples of basic safety rules for children. For a list of free child safety pamphlets, call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, toll free 1-800-843-5678, or call your local sexual assault program, victim services agency, or social services agency.

What You Can Do As A Parent

  • Teach your child names for their body parts.
  • Communicate with your child - encourage questions, know when you child's behaviour is different.
  • Talk to you child about who they can tell, and they need to tell no matter what someone tells them.
  • Provide supervision.
    - On The Internet
    - In Public Restrooms
    - Extra-Curricular Activities
    - Overnight Stays
    - In Your Neighborhood
  • Listen to you own Intuition.
  • Check for sex offenders in your neighborhoods.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Kosher Food for Survivors of Sex Crimes Needed in Psychiatric Facilities Too!

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Letters to the Editor
Beyond The Pain
Baltimore Jewish Times
November 10, 2006


Reading the Nov. 3 article "
Bar None" about kosher food for state prisoners, I started to think: prisoners in Maryland include convicted sex offenders. We all seem concerned about the rights of those who commit violent crimes, but not their victims.

It is not uncommon for those victimized by criminals (especially survivors sex crimes) to go through periods of depression, which can become severe leading to thoughts of suicide; psychiatric hospitalization may be required. Most treatment facilities do not offer kosher food. This means family members or friends must bring food to them.

Once again it appears that we care more about offenders than about those victimized.
Perhaps Jewish groups involved in the kosher food effort for prisoners (including Agudah Israel of America and the Orthodox Union) will start an effort to help those living in a nightmare of flashbacks.

Vicki Polin
Executive Director, The Awareness Center Inc.

Thanksgiving and Survivors of Incest (and Child Sexual Abuse) of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

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Thanksgiving and Survivors of Incest (and Child Sexual Abuse) of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
© (2006) by The Awareness Center, Inc.
www.theawarenesscenter.org/thanksgiving.pdf

For many families in the United States who celebrate Thanksgiving, it is time of year filled with wonderful memories of families getting together.

Thanksgiving (like any other holiday) often mean that families get together, routines are changed, and there is also the added stress of cleaning and preparing meals. These issues alone can be extremely stress-producing. Unfortunately the reality is that there are parents who are already inclined to use their children as an outlet for emotions and urges, and they are more likely to do so when under the pressure of increased anxiety. Needless to say, many adult survivors of childhood abuse report that their abuse became more intense around and during holidays. For that reason we are asking everyone to say a prayer for the children and their family members, so they get the help they need. The Awareness Center is also asking that each person who reads this will make a phone call if needed--if you suspect a child is either being abused and or neglected, please give them the gift of a lifetime and call your local child abuse hot-line and to your suspicions. Doing so may help prevent any further harm, and it can often lead to a whole family receiving the help and healing that are needed to end the cycle of abuse.

Thanksgiving is a time of year when adult survivors of childhood abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse) may be faced with the challenge of deciding if they should go home for the holidays, spend it with friends, or be alone. It is also a time of year for many to have a flood of painful memories reemerge. Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may increase. It is not uncommon for survivors to find it safer to retreat than to participate in holiday functions.

Each individual survivor needs to figure out what works best for them to stay emotionally healthy. It is critical for survivors to be kind to themselves with whatever decisions they make regarding where they choose to spend Thanksgiving: be it with family, friends, or alone. We all need to respect their decisions, especially if a survivors decide not to celebrate.

To reiterate, it is important to be aware that it is not uncommon for symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) to emerge even after times of relative remission and/or intensify in those already struggling. Survivors may experience an increase in disturbing thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks. Thoughts of self-harm, even suicide may be an issue. The important thing to remember is these feelings are about the past, that the abuse is over, and that it is of utmost importance for you to be kind to and gentle with yourself.

This is written as a reminder to all survivors: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If you know someone who is a survivor of childhood abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse), it might be a good idea to check up on them a few times over the holidays. Make sure survivors have invitation to thanksgiving dinner, and that if they say no, let them know they can always change their mind and come at the last minute.

Over the years we've spoken to many adult survivors who find it very painful to even consider going to anyone's home for the holiday. Maybe this is true for you, too. It is OK. Someday you may feel different, but if the pain is too intense, it is important that you do things that feel healing to you, it is important that you set boundaries to do what feels safe for you.

Remember that whatever works for you is OK: you are not alone in this struggle, not wrong, not bad for having second and third and forth thoughts about how to celebrate and even whether to celebrate the holiday. Look into yourself and see what you need, than do what you can to do it and be kind to yourself for needing to make these adjustments.

To the Survivors of Today - Todah Rabah for Surviving!
(Thank you very much)


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Halachic Questions regarding sex offenders and survivors

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Halachic Questions (Jewish Law)

The following was posted to The Awareness Center's daily newsletter



Over the last several years that The Awareness Center has been in operation many newspapers, rabbis and other individuals have contacted us voicing their concerns with the issue of Lashon Hara.

It just dawned on me that no one has ever asked or answer the question regarding what Torah (Jewish Bible) says that we should do with individuals who commit incest, rape or other types of sex crimes? The other issue that keeps coming up is what does Torah say about the way individuals who have been victimized by sexual predators should be treated?

If you have the answers please let me know.

Vicki Polin - Executive Director
The Awareness Center, Inc.
(Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault)
P.O. Box 65273, Baltimore, MD 21209
www.theawarenesscenter.org
443-857-5560

Monday, November 20, 2006

CALL TO ACTION: The Awareness Center is asking that Rabbi Shumel Kaminetzki make a public statement regarding the confession of Rabbi Yaakov Menken

From The Awareness Center's Daily Newsletter
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Rabbi Yaakov Menken

CALL TO ACTION: The Awareness Center is asking that Rabbi Shumel Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky make a public statement regarding the confession of Rabbi Yaakov Menken.

The Awareness Center, Inc. - November 19, 2006


It is not often The Awareness Center puts out a warning regarding an individual who is also rabbi. Due to the seriousness of the allegations, the time has come for action to be taken regarding the case of
Rabbi Yaakov Menken.

The Awareness Center has recently learned that Rabbi Menken has created two new organizations associated with "Project Genisis". He has began a Kiruv organization called '
e-Kiruv". He is also involved with an organization called Oz Nidberu. There are also rumors floating around that he may be involved in the development of a new counter-missionary organization.

We all have to be aware that it is not uncommon for Kiruv workers and counter-missionaries to be involved with individuals who are experiencing a personal crisis in their lives. These crisis's includes a death in the family, illness of a loved one, trying to sort out unresolved issues, and even individuals who have been traumatized (victim or witness to a violent crime, survivors of childhood abuse, survivors of sexual assault, etc.). Individuals who are experiencing a life crisis are often in a vulnerable state, and are more susceptible to being manipulated by sexual predator.

Over the last few years Rabbi Yaakov Menkin was accused of both sexual harassment and professional sexual misconduct. At one point Rabbi Menken had a discussion with Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky regarding the allegations made by one of the women he counseled. The conversation included a confession by Yaakov Menken of having sexual contact with the woman. Rabbi Menken basically blamed the survivor stating "she manipulated him." Rabbi Menken was nearly forty at the time. The young, haredi woman was hardly out of her teens.

Because of the serious and complicated allegations made, the word needs to get out that young, single adult women could be at risk of harm if they share information about their personal lives with Rabbi Yaakov Menkin, especially if the woman is experiencing any sort of life crisis.

Due to the sensitivity of the situation and for reasons of confidentiality we are limited in what we can share with you about the case. What we can share is on The Awareness Center's site on Rabbi Yaakov Menken.


If you need more information regarding Rabbi Menken's confession please contact Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky.

The Awareness Center, Inc. is also asking that everyone contact Rabbi Kaminetzki requesting that he make a public statement regarding the confession made by Rabbi Yaakov Menken. Contact information for Rabbi Kamenetzky is provided below.

Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people; neither shalt thou stand idly by the blood of thy neighbor" (Leviticus 19:16).


Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky
Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia
6063 Drexel Road
Philadelphia, PA 19131
Telephone: (215) 473-1212 Fax: (215) 477-5065

If you or someone you know has had similar experiences, please contact your local rape crisis center and or The Awareness Center, Inc. 443-857-5560
******************************

Correction:
When you go to the Oz Nidberu web page you will see the image of a leeping frog and it says "Leap into Learning - Jewish Learning Network"

If you click on the link on the "Oz Nidberu" site it will take you to a site that is operated by alleged sex offender - Rabbi Yaakov Menken.


******************************
eKiruv.com
Contact: domains@capalon.com

Domain name: EKIRUV.COM

Registrant Contact:
Project Genesis
Project Genesis (office@torah.org)
+1.4106021350
Fax:
122 Slade Avenue, Suite 250
Baltimore, MD 21208
US

Administrative Contact:
Project Genesis
Project Genesis (office@torah.org)
+1.4106021350
Fax:
122 Slade Avenue, Suite 250
Baltimore, MD 21208
US

Technical Contact:
Capalon.com
Hosting Services (hosting@capalon.com)
+1.4103589800
Fax:
122 Slade Avenue, Suite 250
Baltimore, MD 21208

Friday, November 17, 2006

Mordecai Tendler Writes to Judge Neal A. Cabrinha

The Saga of Mordecai Tendler and The anti-SLAPP law continues
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November 15, 2006

The Honorable Neal A. Cabrinha
Judge of the Superior Court
Superior Court of the State of California
191 North First Street.
San Jose, California 95113

Re: Tendler v. John Doe
No. 1 06 cv 064307

Dear Judge Cabrinha:

I am the Plaintiff in this matter and am acting pro se. I understand that you ruled against me and now a claim for tens of thousands of dollars is being made and I have not had the opportunity to defend myself.

For approximately the past two years, I have been the subject of a concerted and constant internet campaign to destroy my reputation, livelihood, and family. Disgusting allegations of sexual impropriety, all of them false, have been circulated about me and amplified in such horrific proportions, as only can happen on the internet. I have been the subject of internet harassment though thinly veiled threats of physical harm. (For your information, I filed a complaint with the FBI and met with FBI agents about the threats; I don't know the status of my FBI complaint.) These allegations and threats have, in fact, destroyed my reputation as a rabbi and teacher, and have caused me hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars in actual and future damages.

Defending myself and attempting to restore my reputation has occupied virtually all of my time for the past 18 months. However, an effective defense is impossible when I do not know who is attacking me. You see, your honor, the sources of the allegations against me are anonymous. That’s right; these ugly statements, rumors and innuendoes have circulated far and wide with such destructive impact while the sources of the attacks hide behind a cloak of internet secrecy. The individuals making these claims have refused to step forward and have their defamatory claims examined in the light of day or allow me simple due process. The threats have been made under the cloak of internet anonymity.

Attached, for your information, are but a few of the literally thousands of internet pages containing the vitriolic, hateful, threatening and clearly defamatory attacks against me (and, sometimes, my family). The blogs I subpoenaed also acted as instigators, soliciting others to harass and defame me and my family. I believe that they conspired with each other and with others to create an environment where it would be fashionable and proper to say the most outrageous things as long as the statements would be harmful to me and my family. I also believe that at least one of the subpoenaed blogs was used freely by its owner as a “reputable source” from with to quote as if quoting a news source in an attempt to shield its owner from defamation liability; in reality, the quoted materials were libelous lies used intentionally to destroy me. Anyone logging on to any of the blogs I subpoenaed (or the blogs in the attached pages), especially the archives from 2005 and the first half of 2006, will see how horrible this is.

Whether materials on these blogs is defamatory is a matter for the courts to decide in actions which I am pursuing and will file appropriate and frankly easily accessible courts; I was compelled to come cross country to California merely seeking names from Google, not to bring my defamation action there. Once I uncovered who these bad actors are, I can pursue and prepare my case for defamation and any other claims. But as the reader can see, these bloggers are dedicated to hurting me and my family; they should be subject to full legal liability for their words and actions. I am entitled to find out who these people are so I can exercise my legal rights.

In an effort to break through the veil of secrecy so I could determine who is making the claims, threats and in order to defend and proceed against them. I filed a defamation action in Ohio. In that action, valid subpoenas were issued to Google to determine the identities of some of the most egregious defamers in this sorry affair. (as you see in the attached pages, the bloggers who were the subject of my subpoenas play prominently in the horrible attacks against me.) Those bloggers then called in “free speech” lawyers who then went to town attacking me anew to stop the subpoenas.

I believe that this really should have been a simple matter. I find out who is attacking me so I can defend myself and take whatever legal actions I can against them. But these bloggers don’t want to be uncovered; like poisonous snakes, they stay hidden so they can inject their damage again and again. They want to continue to do their damage and spread their filthy vicious lies with no accountability.

First, as you can see from the tiny sampling of the attached pages, I have really been defamed; I was made the subject of a campaign of internet harassment, and have been impliedly threatened with serious physical harm. Sure, I will need to take legal action to pursue my claims, as I have already done, but whether or not these disgusting statements are true or false is not the issue presented to the California judicial system. I am not a person of substantial financial means and cannot be traveling cross country litigating. I believe that as a direct result of the cascade of defamation on the internet, I was fired from my job. I have lost my professional reputation and I simply cannot afford to travel and have a lawyer in California.

Second, I am not a government or other public official. I hold no public position. I am a private individual who has been defamed. The SLAPP law has zero application to my attempt to find out who has damaged me.

I know that these “public interest” lawyers who are acting for the anonymous bloggers, in an attempt to paint a ridiculous picture that the SLAPP law should apply to me, filed affidavits of two “rabbis” trying to connect the dots that those who have defamed me must stay anonymous out of some ridiculous and frankly false pretension that the people who have both threatened my life and defamed me fear retaliation. You should know that these two “rabbis” have played prominent and I believe very active roles in spreading false allegations against me (but, I am told, that maybe for now their carefully crafted public statements of which I am presently aware, have fallen just short of actionable defamation). The bottom line is that I was defamed. I have been anonymously harassed over the internet and I have a real defamation and harassment claim to be litigated. I am not a public figure, and the SLAPP law should have no impact on my action.

The false allegations against me have become the subject of several lawsuits in New York. I am told that the identities of some of the anonymous bloggers will very likely be exposed in one or more of these cases. Therefore, when Google took every possible opportunity to delay giving me the names so these “public interest” lawyers acting for the bloggers could file their action against me, and faced with very large New York legal bills and the possibility of another $10,000 - $20,000 to fight the California SLAPP action, I agreed to drop the Ohio action and withdraw the subpoenas.

With limited and rapidly dwindling financial resources, I also could not pay a California attorney to defend the SLAPP action. (I only hired a California lawyer earlier to get the subpoena confirmed by a California court so Google would obey.) I decided to defend myself. I figured that it would be a relatively simple matter to defend myself in this subpoena action. Little did I know that would not have the chance to respond while representing myself. Before having the opportunity to send anything to the court and without knowing of any time issues, your honor ruled against me. I regretfully did not have the chance to make my case.

Now I am told that a claim for almost $50,000 has been made against me to pay the lawyers in the SLAPP action. How they can build up $50,000 in a motion which I was not even served with papers after my lawyers withdrew and I did not even have a real opportunity to contest because of my not being a lawyer is beyond me. The present claim exposes the anonymous bloggers for what they are really trying to accomplish. The SLAPP law was designed to help citizens exercise their Constitutional rights without fear of retaliation. The bloggers are abusing the SLAPP law by using it to stop me from exercising my Constitutional rights.

This is a case of abuse of law and process by the anonymous bloggers who have used the internet to threaten me with physical harm and subjected me to outrageous defamation.

This is a case where someone is being shut out from his rights to not be threatened with physical harm and defamed. It is also about finding out who has harmed me. The information was and still is necessary.

This is also a case where someone who cannot afford a lawyer is being unfortunately penalized by lack of familiarity with the procedure of the courts in California. I have not had the opportunity to defend my rights on the merits.

I truly feel the anonymous bloggers have engaged in a blatant and undisguised attempt to use the law and the courts for improper purposes.

I respectfully ask your honor to please not let this unfair result stand. I therefore request that your honor consider this letter a formal request to un-do the order which granted the bloggers request for attorney fees. I also request that you consider my request that subpoenas be issued to Google in the interest of justice.

Not being a lawyer, i am not aware of the procedures involved in making requests to the court nor how to properly respond. Nonetheless, I request that the court excuse any failure on my part as I did not know that a response was due from me after my lawyer withdrew as attorney.

As you see, I have a meritorious claim and the request from the bloggers’ attorney is simply without any merit whatsoever.

With my best wishes, I remain

Very truly yours,
Mordecai Tendler

The Awareness Center Says: "A Must See Film - 'Deliver Us From Evil"'

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'Deliver Us From Evil' is a documentary every rabbi, cantor, survivor, parent and community leader needs to see. Even though the focus is about a case of clergy abuse in the Catholic Church it can very easily be translated to the problems most survivors of clergy abuse face within all movements of Judaism.

The only way things will ever change is by exposing the problems, educating our communities of the problems and changing the way Jews deal with cases of sexual violence. We all need to stop blaming victims and denying the facts. We all need to be dealing appropriately with offenders of sex crime. If you or your community needs help with survivors, offenders or non-abusive family member of either survivors or offenders contact The Awareness Center. We are here to help.

Please use the following link to find a theater near you that is showing this vitally important documentary. If it's not in your community start calling the theater near you and ask them to bring it. Encourage your local rabbis and cantors to see it too. Start dialoging about the film with your friends and especially at your synagogues.

Click here: To find a theater near you



The Awareness Center, Inc.
(Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault)
P.O. Box 65273, Baltimore, MD 21209
www.theawarenesscenter.org
443-857-5560

Books on Legal Issues

Thursday, November 16, 2006

From The Awareness Center - The Fate of The Awareness Center is in your hands

I just received this e-mail from The Awareness Center, Inc. Please stop what you are doing and help support the only Jewish organization that I know of that is dedicated to addressing the needs of Jewish survivors of sex crimes.

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November 16, 2006


The Fate of The Awareness Center is in your hands
www.theawarenesscenter.org

For the last four years, The Awareness Center has touched the lives of countless survivors and family members of survivors. We have brought the issue of sexual violence to the consciousness of thousands of rabbis, cantors, and Jewish community leaders. Throughout the last year The Awareness Center's site has been averaging around 1/2 million hits per month.

When a survivor calls and asks for our help in finding a therapist, we utilize a network of professionals and do our best to hand-pick referrals that meet the individual's particular needs. When an person calls us in search of help and support, average telephone are over an hour long. At times--especially around holidays and other stressful times--these contacts translate to countless hours of assistance. It is not unusual for us to receive calls from offenders and even probation officers who are seeking help for a parolee. Survivors, Family Members of Survivors and offenders--we do our best to help them find a qualified therapist to work with them.

The Awareness Center has close to fifty articles which were written by our executive and advisory board members; many on issues that you will not find anywhere else. Our articles have been quoted often in other publications. Numerous journalist and researchers have contacted us over the years looking for information and we've done our best to assist them in their work.

The Awareness Center operates a daily electronic newsletter and offers eleven self-help networking groups for survivors and family members of survivors. Networking groups for rabbis and victims advocated are also available.

Our multi-faceted international operations have been going on full time for some years now, and have been maintained in spite of little or no funding. As a result of scarce funding, most operating expenses have been repeatedly coming out of The Awareness Center volunteers' own pockets and on top of uncounted volunteer hours. Survivors in the thousands, as well as their supporters and the professionals who work with them have all reached out to The Awareness Center for help. The number of hits on our web-page alone bears testimony to the service The Awareness Center provides. We would like nothing more than to continue to provide support, information, and assistance to survivors; and education to those who claim to and/or wish to support them. However, we can no longer continue to cover operating expenses out of our own pockets and are facing a financial crisis--
WITHOUT IMMEDIATE MONETARY SUPPORT THE AWARENESS CENTER WILL NEED TO SHUT ITS DOORS WITHIN A FEW WEEKS.

Over the many months and weeks and days and hours of our operation, The Awareness Center received frequent calls and emails of thanks for the help we provided and for shining a light on issues that have been taboo for so long, yet a painful reality to many.

If you believe that sexual abuse and assault are wrong, that survivors of harm are worthy of support, and perpetrators of true assistance; if you believe that children have the right to speak up when they are hurt and to be protected so that no more harm comes to them (or others after them); if you believe that our communities are worthy of healing from the inside-out and that as Jews we are meant to be and CAN be light-unto-the-nations--please help The Awareness Center survive to forward these important goals.

Help us by shining the light--your light--so we can continue. Even a little light can illuminate the darkness, and every little bit can help. Reach into your heart and pocket for whatever amount you believe our children's safety is worth and whatever amount you can spare. You can help save lives. Anyone who saves even one life of Israel, it is said that it is as if they'd saved a whole world! You have it within your power to help save many.

Help us so that survivors can have a place to reach out to. Help us so that we can end harm in our communities and foster pathways of understanding and healing; so that together we can abandon the old ways of secrecy and shame.

Help us keep hope alive. Please take a moment to support those who'd been hurt and seek help. Please show that you care.

The Awareness Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 65273
Baltimore, MD 21209
443-857-5560


Contributions to The Awareness Center, a tax-exempt organization under Section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code, are deductible for computing income and estate taxes.

What causes someone to become a sex offender?

Note from: Vicki Polin
First off I want to make it perfectly clear that the treatment and understanding of what creates a sex offender is still very much in it’s infancy. What I’m about to write is all based on theory.

Many ask what causes child sexual abuse? The real question should be what causes someone to become an offender?

Many in the Jewish community have made comments to me that being a sexual predator is innate. This is far from the truth. Many professionals in the field of the treatment of sexu offenders believe that abusive sexual behavior patterns learned. The majority of sex offenders are NOT homosexual or lesbians. Many child sexual predators do not overtly present themselves as if they are mentally ill, with the exception that they molest children.

According to research sexual predators are both male and female. Sex offenders come from all social classes, intellectual levels, educational backgrounds, occupations, races, religions and sexual orientations.

Many believe that their abusive sexual behaviors are caused by maladaptive responses for coping with life stressors and dissatisfactions for gaining pleasure.

According to research there could be multiple causes of creating a sex offender beginning early in childhood. Some believe that abusive sexual behavior may be similar to a long ingrained habit or an sex addiction.

I found the following article that I thought could be helpful in the discussion of sex offenders and treatment:

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Treating Sex Offenders in a State Hospital
By Kevin Price, M.D.
Psychiatric Times June 2002 Vol. XIX Issue 6


As an avid reader of Psychiatric Times, I have followed the controversy surrounding civil commitment of sex offenders. I have noticed that those who oppose it have little or no experience treating sex offenders in an institutional setting. I want to share the experience of our state hospital staff, with the hope of stirring up some debate and perhaps opening a few minds.

Logansport State Hospital has a 22-bed unit dedicated exclusively to the treatment of sex offenders. All individuals on the unit are under civil commitment for mandatory treatment. The program is labeled the "Sexual Responsibility" unit. Responsible sexual behavior is the goal of treatment. Labeling the program the "Sex Offender" unit would be an inappropriate use of emotionally charged words.

In the unit's eight and a half years of existence, the re-offense rate has been less than 10% for individuals who successfully completed the program and entered the community, based on conversations with mental health care centers and known arrests. This recidivism rate for sex offenders seems better than the relapse rate for patients with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder treated in a typical state hospital.

It is inappropriate to waste precious health care dollars treating patients with schizophrenia in a state hospital due to the lack of long-term efficacy and the high relapse rate. I say this tongue in cheek, but those who argue against state hospital treatment of sex offenders need to demonstrate that resources spent treating sex offenders provide less benefit than resources spent treating those "deserving" of state hospital care. I detect a lot of countertransference (in the broad sense) and very little evidence when I hear arguments against civil commitment of sex offenders. If chronic shoplifting or temper problems can be considered psychiatric disorders, why not sex offenses? A particular constellation of behaviors can be both a psychiatric and criminal issue. If our expertise can be used to modify maladaptive behavior patterns, then those behavior patterns are worthy of our professional attention.

Key elements of our program include stimulus avoidance, development of personal prevention plans, gaining insight into the circumstances in which one is at high risk of re-offending, and treating the disorder as a chronic unremitting condition. Due to small sample size and selection bias, we can only provide the reader with some educated and possibly idiosyncratic guesses about the prognostic features of mandatory sex offender treatment through civil commitment. We hope to have an adequate discharge sample for regression analysis in the future, but selection bias will always remain an issue.

• Ego-dystonic pedophilia seems to be a good prognostic feature.


• Pedophiles who masturbate to pedophilic fantasies or smuggle pictures of children onto the unit have a poor prognosis.

• A strong religious commitment in a nonpsychotic individual seems to be a protective factor against further offenses after lengthy institutional treatment.

• Psychiatric comorbidity is the rule. Individuals with comorbid psychiatric disorders of any type do as well as those without comorbidity, provided the comorbid disorder is stable and substantially improves during treatment. However, more than one or two comorbid disorders worsen the prognosis.

• People with schizophrenia in remission or residual phase without prominent negative symptoms seem to do well in achieving treatment goals. Patients with chronic active psychotic symptoms have never successfully completed the program, perhaps due to the cognitive demands required to develop a prevention plan and gain insight into when one is at high risk, or "high in one's cycle."

• Individuals with personality disorders don't do as well as psychotic individuals in a residual/remitted state unless the personality disorder substantially improves during treatment. Treatment of patients with personality disorders seems to be lengthier than the treatment of previously psychotic individuals in a remitted/residual state.

• The number of offenders with a current or past diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is higher than one would expect in a typical state hospital population. Provided those offenders are of normal intelligence with good control of their ADHD symptoms, they have a good prognosis.



• Individuals who spent a substantial amount of time planning or thinking about sex offenses are high risk. Impulsive or poorly planned sex offenses are a good sign, particularly after some prison time and several years of treatment.

• Antisocial personality traits are a poor prognostic feature, primarily related to lack of motivation and remorse.

• Borderline intellectual functioning does not seem to interfere with the achievement of treatment goals, but progress is a little slower in these individuals.

• Individuals who are severely lacking in, or are unable to acquire through treatment, basic adult social skills seem to be at higher risk. Individuals who are basically solitary and do not generally enjoy the company of other adults are high risk.

• Sex offenders from prison, particularly those who were not high on the pecking order, seem to be more cooperative and maintain a better attitude initially during treatment, compared to those referred directly from the courts. Individuals referred from other mental health care agencies without involvement of a criminal court are the least motivated initially.


If you or your organization is interested in developing a sex offender treatment program, congratulations! I wish to welcome you to the cutting edge of psychiatric care. Treating sex offenders has the added benefit of guaranteeing full beds and minimal competition from other treatment providers. Taxpayers and governing bodies at this time seem willing to spend money for mandatory sex offender treatment. The following paragraphs may be useful in planning or developing your own inpatient sex offender program.

Funding organizations must understand that proper sex offender treatment is costly and time-consuming. If the funding organization is not aware of this, a facility could find itself in trouble when unrealistic expectations are not met and the next state budget is being prepared. Some states may actually prefer long stays and perhaps a lifetime of treatment if the patient continues to meet commitment criteria. Try to clarify this issue from the beginning so you can determine which individuals are appropriate for your program. If your state wants you to take the hardest of the hard core, and there is no concern over length of treatment, then you can eliminate selection bias and better clarify treatment and recidivism issues for the rest of us.

Our average length of stay is well over two years. If we included people who were transferred to other units but remained in the hospital, our average length of stay would be significantly longer. It is easy for sex offenders to con their way through a limited-stay program. It is much harder to keep the con going for several years. Understand from the beginning that there may be individuals who should never leave an institutional setting in spite of careful scrutiny at the outset for motivated individuals with good prognostic features. Some can be dangerous both to others and your career if you are in a hurry to discharge them. Ideally you will have step-down units and comprehensive outpatient care. Most likely, you will have no community support and will meet resistance when referring even your lowest-risk patients to outpatient care. Length of stay could be decreased substantially with comprehensive, competent outpatient care and residential treatment for motivated sex offenders.

Aggressively treat comorbidities. Unstable or severe psychiatric comorbidity of any type increases the risk of relapse and/or failure to achieve treatment goals. Offer hormonal treatment, psychiatric management, and specialized psychological and behavioral therapies. Most patients who need hormonal therapy will voluntarily take leuprolide (Lupron) if approached in the right way. Many sex offenders are willing to do anything possible to avoid re-offending.

Forcefully advocate criminal sanctions for those who relapse during or after treatment. Develop a working relationship with the local prosecutor from the beginning. Sex offenders should have only one chance. If they believe further recidivism will result in admission to a nice, clean psychiatric facility, then the risk of relapse increases. Sex offenses are a psychiatric and criminal issue. Our patients understand we will advocate for a lengthy prison sentence (life preferably) for those who commit a serious sex crime. Pedophiles in our program are aware that they run a higher than average risk of injury or death in prison. We clip newspaper articles showing lengthy sentences for repeat offenders. We use every tool available to reduce relapse, including our view of reality.

Trust your judgment if countertransference is under control. Sex offenders cannot hide their true self when monitored 24 hours per day for several years. You will eventually realize who is trying to con you and who is committed to treatment (no pun intended). Some con artists eventually take treatment seriously and begin to make a sincere effort. Avoid making quick judgments on any individual. After all, you have several years to make any major decisions.

Finally, you may be surprised by your enjoyment of the work. Most pedophiles can be fairly likable and motivated for treatment, provided you select those with good prognostic features and treat them with respect in a humane, enriched environment. Psychiatric care of the standard hospital patient in modern times is not much different than working on an assembly line. If you are bored with factory work, then developing a sex offender program may reinvigorate your career.

Did I stir up any debate? I hope so!

Dr. Price is a board-certified psychiatrist working in a state hospital in Indiana. He completed his residency at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Alleged pedophile (Rabbi Ephraim Bryks) runs NYC mikvah (Kew Gardens)

From: JWB
The image “http://theawarenesscenter.org/R'EphraimBryks2.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors. Download and Watch the Bryks Video

It really should come as no surprise that children are targetted at mikvahs by sexual predators. Parents often leave their unattended or attended by those at the mikvah while they are using the mikvah.

Predators will prey on children wherever they can gain access.

I would note the post below, which remains accurate and that the Vaad Harabonim of Queens continues to promote the mikvah on their website.

Note it is at the same address:
1) http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&pb=f&q=%22ephraim+Bryks%22+ny&pb=f
Ephraim Bryks (718) 849-4140 8433 116th St,Richmond Hill, NY 11418

2) http://www.queensvaad.org/mikvah/
Name: Mikvah of Kew Gardens Address: 84-33 116th St. Kew Gardens, NY 11415
Supervision: Rabbi Treiger Schedule: Women - Open Fri. Night/Yom Tov - By appointment only
Men - By appointment only
Phone: 718-849-0065

3) http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=718-849-0065+

see: http://jewishsurvivors.blogspot.com/2005/02/alleged-sex-offender-operated-mikvah.html

Alleged Sex Offender Operated a Mikvah Out of His Home (Rabbi Ephraim Bryks)
Rabbi Ephraim Boruch Bryks has a mikvah operated out of his home:

see:
http://www.queensvaad.org/mikvah/
Name: Mikvah of Kew Gardens
Address: 84-33 116th St. Kew

http://www.google.com/search?sa=X&amp;amp;oi=fwp&pb=f&q=%22(718)+849-0065%22+ny
and
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&pb=f&q=%22ephraim+bryks%22+ny&pb=f

***********
So there is no confusion, the Mikvah gives out Rabbi Ephraim Bryks' listed home phone number as the alternate number for the mikvah. The main mikvah number is now unlisted. When it was listed it gave Rabbi Bryks' home address.

1) http://ccfnewyork.com/mikvhe.html
Kew Gardens
Name: Mikvah Of Kew Gardens
Address: Corner Of Beverly & Audley, A
Cross Streets: CORNER OF BEVERLY & AUDLEY
City: Kew Gardens
State/Province: NY
Postal Code: 11418
Country: USA
Supervision: RABBI TREIGER
Schedule: SHABBOS AND YOM TOV ONLY, BY APPOINTMENT
Mikvah Tel. #: 718 849 0065
Alternate Tel. #: 718-849-4140
Mikvah Type: BOR AL GABAI BOR

2) http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=%22718-849-4140%22
Ephraim Bryks (718) 849-4140 8433 116th St, Richmond Hill, NY 11418

How to Report Suspected Child Abuse and Neglect

Everyone should download this important information. Make several copies and share it with your friends, rabbis and relatives!



How to Report Suspected Child Abuse and Neglect:
A Guide for the Practicing Mental Health Professionals, Clergy, Educators, Child Care Workers, etc.
© (1995, Revised 2006) Victoria Polin, MA, ATR, LCPC

Jewish Women Abandoned again!

Call to Action: Write to the chief rabbi’s office. Call your own rabbi and work together to free agunot.

The image “http://www.consistoire.org/images/Amar.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.The image “http://www.sedonajewishcommunity.org/Newsletter_-_2005_03March/JCEF_sharon.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
Rabbi Shlomo Amar / Sharon Shenhav

Abandoned again
by Norma Joseph
The Canadian Jewish News
November 15, 2006

For two years, Sharon Shenhav, together with the International Council of Jewish Women, and Rabbi Shlomo Amar, chief Sephardi rabbi of Israel, planned a conference on gittin ( Jewish divorces). This was to be a special consultation with rabbis from across the Jewish world. Only invited rabbis could attend, and only rabbis directly involved with divorce in rabbinic courts (batei din) would be invited.

Those of us who have been active for decades on behalf of agunot (women denied a Jewish divorce) took great care to make sure our batei din were well represented. We also wanted to be present, but we understood the organizational premise: in order for the rabbis to have serious deliberations, they needed to be assured of privacy and confidentiality. Many rabbis – regrettably none from Canada – indicated their willingness to attend.

The conference was to take place Nov. 7 and 8.

We had high hopes. The chief rabbi’s invitation was an indication of his agreement that the issue was pressing. The attendance of prominent rabbis suggested their acceptance that the problem of agunot required Jewish legal attention. (When I first began my agunah activities 30 years ago, I was told by rabbis that there was no problem and certainly not one in Jewish law.) Perhaps they would create standards of court procedure for all batei din. Perhaps they would explore and recommend the possible solutions that exist within Halachah. Perhaps they would create networks of rabbinic co-operation and future interaction. Perhaps we would see a global end to get abuse.

The solutions exist in Halachah. All sorts of new variations using old precedents have been proposed. We lack the consensus for implementation. Perhaps…

But Rabbi Amar cancelled the conference.

After two years of work, days before people were to arrive in Israel, the rabbi called it off! Why? Because of pressure from some Israeli rabbis.

But why? What could they be afraid of? A group of their own colleagues – no women present, no media, no pressure, just discussions probing possible actions or resolutions.

What is so threatening? Why don’t they see the chillul HaShem (desecration) that their inaction causes? Why do they not see that they have empowered countless lawless males to use the law to abuse law-abiding women? Why do they continue to protect the husband’s unilateral power at the expense of the wife?

Some rabbis still intend to go and present papers anyway. Rabbi Amar will invite them to lunch only. There will be no serious grappling with halachic ramifications and solutions.
Why not? What are they so afraid of? What a missed opportunity!

If you care, write to the chief rabbi’s office. Call your own rabbi and work together to free agunot. There are many wonderful pulpit rabbis willing to help. Do something!

Monday, November 13, 2006

WARNING: Survivors of Sexual Abuse Could Be Easy Targets - Landmark Forum

The image “http://www.win.tue.nl/~aeb/secul/landmark/iwantyou.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
Warning To Those In Baltimore
Landmark Forum in Baltimore's Jewish community
by Vicki Polin

Over the last two years I've been approached by a few individuals in the Jewish community of Baltimore suggesting I attend a free weekend sponsored by a group called Landmark Educational Corporation (LEC) also known as Landmark Forum.

The pitch has always been that if I attended it would help me in my personal life and especially help me run The Awareness Center at a much higher level. Given what I know about this group, I have always declined each offer. I'll be honest with you this has not always been easy. The manipulation to attend included a statement by one recruiter who suggested that "my resistance to come was proof of how much I needed their program."

Recently I learned that two of the recruiters who approached me were also communicating with several survivors of sexual abuse in both the observant and nonobservant community of Baltimore. For that reason I am hoping to educate as many people as possible about the potential dangers of this group.

For those of you not familiar with Landmark Forum it has close ties to a now defunct group called EST (Ernard Seminar Training), which was created by Werner Ernard (Born John Paul Rosenberg).

Landmark Forum began in 1985 by those who purchased EST technology from Werner Ernard. In 1991 they legally changed their name from "EST" to Landmark Forum. Ernard's brother Harry Rosenberg heads LEC, which earns around $50 million a year. LEC is headquartered in San Francisco, as was EST, and has 42 offices in 11 countries. According to what I've read, Erhard is no longer involved in the operation of the Landmark Educational Corporation.

Landmark Forum states that their aim is to help people transform the lives of those attending by teaching them specific communication and life skills along with some heavy philosophical training. Needless to say many survivors of childhood abuse are prime candidates for this type of recruitment effort. Most are looking for answers and can easily fall into the trappings of this expensive program.

The advertised goals of Landmark Forum seem very grand and very vague. They state that their programs are "original, innovative and effective." They state that their program is dedicated to "empowering people in generating unlimited possibilities and making a difference". Their pitch goes on to say that their work provides limitless opportunities for growth and development for individuals, relationships, families, communities, businesses, institutions and society as a whole." The problem is that they have been accused of manipulative and deceptive practices (see article below).

Over the past few weeks I've been told that a few requiters connected to Landmark Forum are pressuring Jewish survivors of sexual abuse into attending a free week end seminar which is coming up shortly. If you know of anyone who has plans to attend one of these weekend workshops please make sure they read the article below called "Defending Your Life."

I've also been told by a reliable source that at the end of the seminar most attendees are at a heightened state that they willingly sign contracts and hand over their credit card numbers. There have been reports of seminar attendees realizing what they have done and finding it nearly impossible for them to get out of the contracts.

Resources:
-----------------------------------------
Defending Your Life
GQ Magazine - May, 2005
By James O’Brien
www.gq.com


The Landmark Forum is a self-help program that offers to make you anew, more powerful dude. The catch? Try three days of scant sleep, humiliating revelations, and verbal abuse. So why are people signing up by the thousands?

The leader's pale face has gone paler. Hi voice is taut with urgency. I think I see spit flying. He is a master of dispersed eye contact, and it is as if he is speaking to everyone and no one. Throughout this harangue, he repeatedly insists that none of us, not a single one of us, has even a shred of integrity. Our word is worthless. We are dishonest. His voice rising, he says, again, "You have no integrity!"

I sit in anxious silence with a hundred other hopeful souls as the leader berates us for an impressive two hours straight. I must be some sort of masochist, because even though I haven’t done a damn thing wrong in all the time I’ve sat in the hard plastic chair, I’m thrilled with this chastisement—no doubt meant to urge me, to urge all of us, toward some kind of life breakthrough. It is indeed a crazy new world inside this brightly-lit ballroom.

At first, the Landmark Forum and its marathon group-encounter sessions seemed marginal to me, a thin hippie residue like the stringy-haired septuagenarian Deadhead I’d see at my local grocery every so often. But then the veterans of the seminar began popping up everywhere in my life.

The Landmark Forum is the streamlined, slightly gentler offspring of that pinnacle of the 70’s encounter movement, EST. In EST’s heyday, large groups of groovy seekers were reportedly locked in rooms for as long as twenty hours a day over two consecutive weekends and subjected to fascistic group pressure, verbal abuse and brutal honesty, all in the name of self-empowerment, personal transformation, and the ego of EST’s creator, a onetime car salesman turned publisher named Jack Rosenberg a.k.a. Werner Erhard . In 1991, with lawsuits pending and a potentially damning 60 Minutes exposé about to create loads of bad publicity, Erhard sold the technology of transformation to a group of his former employees and split the country.

His followers eventually formed a company called Landmark Education. Landmark now has over 400 employees in twenty-one countries. Its 2003 revenues were approximately $67 million. The Landmark Forum is the flagship seminar, a $400 three-day public/personal inquisition through which participants seek a transformation, a breakthrough to "living powerfully."

Landmark Education does very little advertising and relies on the example and persuasiveness of its transformation army to attract new generations. I’d heard that its adherents invited supportive friends to ballrooms to celebrate their completion of the Landmark Forum, only to abandon their guests to a wide-eyed hard sell in a faraway room.

Many succumb. Nearly 75,000 people take the Forum each year. In fact, many then go on to take the increasingly expensive and intense courses in Landmark Education’s "Curriculum for Living." Each devotee is no doubt attracted to the promise that, through the teachings of Landmark, you can have "anything you want for yourself or your life." In my own bleak moments, that promise could sound awfully sweet.

So I took a Forum veteran (Identifying details and actions of all Landmark Forum participants have been changed to protect their anonymity) to coffee and asked her what I was all about. She was not a true believer, but like others I’d met, she could talk about the experience at length while revealing little.

She used words like energy and self-discovery. "The brain," she’d learned, "functions to make assumptions prior to fact." The Forum helps you kick that habit. Even in a room with a couple of hundred people, she said, the experience was very personal and had caused her to deal with a long held grudge against her beloved mother. But how? "I don’t know. You talk to the person sitting next to you." The obscurity was frustrating but also tantalizing. How could something so substantial, so life-altering remain so ethereal?

Then I heard about a couple, friends of friends, who’d taken the Forum and soon separated, then divorced. One day they were seemingly happy in their little suburban home with their adorable child. The next day: separate houses, shared custody, lonely lives. Even though I knew them only casually, their dramatic reaction to whatever they seemed to have learned about themselves in the Landmark Forum shocked me; every time I ran into someone who knew them, I’d ask anxiously if they had reconciled. The answer was always no.

And it scared the sh-t out of me. Especially as it became increasingly clear that if I were ever going to understand Landmark’s enduring, defiant appeal, I’d have to go in myself.

After all, who was a better candidate for a new and powerful life than me? I was just on the sinister side of 40, with a floundering career, a tiny cluttered apartment, a dented car, a gloomy demeanor, and an illegible inner palimpsest of failed friendships and estranged siblings: It was very much the grim season of my own discontent. I worried I’d be susceptible to whatever it was Landmark was selling, but I had to know. This enigma that in a weekend could so profoundly change a life was calling me.

My ballroom of transformation is the heart of Oakland’s intense little Chinatown, where I am surrounded by a group composed of the weepy, the wounded, the self-help sluts, and bublegum Buddhists who populate this wonderful part of the world in which I live (and where first EST, and now Landmark is based), Northern California. I’d say there are a few more women than men. We range in age from late teens to nearly 70. We are a great American mix of white and black and Asian and Latino. We are grizzled and coifed, urban and suburban, dorky and hip.

There are rigid rules of Landmark Forum behavior, circa 2005: The three days go from 9 AM to around midnight. Always have your name badge visible. Do not eat in the room (Water is okay.) Do not speak unless called on. Stand when you speak. Otherwise, sit. There will be occasional half-hour breaks and one longer dinner break each evening. Otherwise, do not leave the room if you absolutely must leave, we go ahead, but you thereby forfeit your right to expect transformation. Do not be one second late in the morning or when returning from a break. Do not take notes. And if you really are committed to this thing, refrain from aspirin or alcohol until we’re done.

The conduit to our dreams of a powerful life—our Landmark Forum leader—is 56-year-old Richard Condon. Small, dapper, and strident, with a sparse goatee and an oxford shirt, Condon is a combination arrogant professor, soulful father confessor, hysterical drill instructor, and Boys in the Band bitch. (Not the gay part, just the occasional downright withering nastiness.)

He takes the stage late in the morning on day one, like a headlining rock star, after his mild-mannered cohort, Barry, has warmed us up with various warnings of how emotional and mentally rigorous this long weekend will be.

Apparently, some participants have concerns that Landmark might be a cult. When these concerns come from the group the first morning. When these concerns come from the group the first morning, Condon swats them away like gnats on a summer night. Yes, back in the ‘90’s, Werner Erhard sold his business to a group of employees, but this is not est. No we are not a cult: we are not a religion. We are not asking you to follow us, and if you do we’ll call the cops. When someone asks who Werner Erhard is, Condon is dismissive. Don’t worry about Werner Erhard. Worry about yourselves.

"You are living lives of sham and illusion," Condon assures us from his director’s chair. "Everything you do in life is meant to make you look good or to avoid looking bad. Everything. You are inauthentic. You have no integrity. Your word is worthless."

I suspect that his pessimistic appraisals are a shock to many in the group accustomed to being validated in their expensive self-help seminars. But this is me to a tee, and early on I find myself both agreeing with him and wishing he would tell me something I didn’t already know. At some point, we turn to our neighbors and share, I’m ready.

My discussion partner is an earth local well into his forties. I like him immediately for his openness and his untrimmed bear stained with tobacco and some other things I’d rather not mention. He goes first and says he’s been afraid to tell his wife about how angry he is that she doesn’t share his views on politics and UFOs. I’m dying to find out what he knows about the aliens, but we have only two minutes, so I go. I tell him I’ve been inauthentic with some of my friends for fear they will learn that just because I’ve published occasional magazine articles, it doesn’t mean I’m successful. I tell him that I go to bed at night because I am afraid to stay up too late, that I get up in the morning because I am afraid to sleep in. I clean house because I am afraid people will know I’m a slob; I keep most of my opinions to myself for fear of being wrong or hurting someone; I fear hurting people because God might exist. I pray for fear

S/He does. (And yes, I add an S to He for fear God’s a woman.) I’m prepared to go on, but our time is up, and we thank each other for sharing. He looks relieved.

My fear that the Landmark Forum will mine some deep-seated catastrophic truth or weakness in me leaves my nerves on edge. I am afraid to speak before the group, but many participants frequent the microphones placed around the room. One woman, a petite, earnest, wiry brunet, comes to the microphone to profess her integrity. She is so prideful, so cheery, so thin and self-confident that I wonder why she is here at all. She declared to the room that through her work she is changing the world.

Condon is unimpressed and smacks her delusions back into her upheld chin, splat, like a ripe tomato. "Listen," he says, "I don’t know what your bag is, but you’ve never changed anything." I couldn’t agree more.

But Condon’s not finished. You harbor persistent complaints and resentments in life, in relationships, he tells her, tells all of us. These complaints, along with fear, rule how you behave, how you interact, even with people you say you love. They make you inauthentic; they make your life a lie. And then he uses a brilliant Landmarkian term: These are your "rackets," he says, and henceforth rackets will refer not to some dubious business practices but to our stubborn need to be right, to gain the upper hand in every relationship. You think this gives you power, Condon implies, but it drains power—and every time you argue with me, every time you insist on being right, you’re running a racket.

If you want power back, Condon says, then during the upcoming break I want you to call someone you’ve been running a racket on, and tell them you are "inventing a new possibility for yourself and your life and ask them to join you in that possibility" Join you? Are we already recruiting?

This is an emblematic Landmark moment, when we fire up our cell phones and call those sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers and friends we’ve been running rackets on and them that we’re going to stop blaming them for our pathetic lives.

It’s a nice sentiment, but it seems to me that this is a pretty loaded announcement to make to someone who might only just be learning of your debilitating grievances. And so while the group enthusiastically takes its cell phones to the hallways and stairwells to drive in, I hesitate. I try to look inconspicuous, try not to trip over the tearful callers strewn about, until finally I can’t take it; I don’t want to be seen not calling.

So I dial up one of my sister. Until about five years ago, she was the person I would always turn to for advice. When her husband’s drinking spun out of control, her life fell apart and she became needy completely absorbed in her own survival. Despite deep wells of sympathy for her situation, I’ve been harboring resentments for the bad decisions she’s made, for her unrelenting inertia, and for how this has affected our relationship. But I was afraid to tell her this, and long ago I pulled back lessening the frequency and depth—and honesty—of our communications. Still, she is the most supportive person I know. I’m sure I can call her and find a way to dump the Forum dump on her and we’ll still come out okay. So I pull out my phone, spread my little Landmarkian wings, and try to fly.

She’s glad to hear from me, and I say, "Listen, uh, I think I’ve been inauthentic with you." And she says, "No you haven’t." And I say, "Whew! Great! Talk to you later. Love you!" Now I feel like a bad Landmarkian and a bad brother.

Giving me the impetus to come clean with my sister is admirable, but I’m troubled by something else: the effect the group has had on me. I hadn’t even known there was a group until, cell phone still in pocket, I realized I wasn’t part of it. I begin to sense the group congealing, becoming monolithic.

Suddenly there is a magnetic core, and all those not yet attached to it are being sucked in. Then it gets worse.

Back in the ballroom, a dark-haired woman in her early thirties tells us about a phone call she’s just made to here father, during which, right as she was in the middle of spelling out for him all the lifelong complaints she was now prepared to forgo thanks to the Landmark Forum, he interrupted her to ask for her password to an Internet site. He was Web surfing.

Tears begin falling. She says this means her father doesn’t love her, just like when she was little and he failed to show up for her school play because he was drunk. All around the room people are making sympathetic noises. Even me.

Condon comes down from his platform and approaches the microphone and I think he’s maybe going to giver her a hug or something. Instead, he says, "That never happened."

Never happened? How does he know?

He grabs some chalk and draws tow circles on the board. One represents the day her father failed to show; the other represents her interpretation of it. "They have nothing to do with each other," he says. His failing to show did not hurt you, he tells her. How you perceived it hurt you. You go around blaming your father for your problems when really it’s your view that has created a barrier. You need to stop running this racket. You need to go call him again and "get complete" with him. Unyielding in his belief in her father’s cosmic innocence, stern Condon is interested only in the facts.

It’s a new story now, apparently more appealing, because enlightened nodding spreads across the room like contagion. I cannot fathom the great eagerness with which everyone has received the leader’s perverse psychology lesson. (I suppose those two circles he drew on the board really drove it home.) All I can think is that although this woman seems like a perfectly nice person, her father really didn’t love her very much and she’s right to be sad.

Mine is a singularly dissenting opinion. I feel painfully self-conscious. It’s cold outside the core. By the end of day one, the Landmark Forum has become not so much a test of how much bad news I can take but how much loneliness. The Landmark method is working.

Condon raises the emotional stakes early the next morning when catches a woman taking notes. She denies her transgression and squirms in her chair.

Why do you deny it? he asks, and then turns his attention to all of us. You behave in this room just like you run your lives. You cheat; you don’t keep your word. You eat in your chairs. You leave the room during sessions. You come back late from breaks. You speak out of turn. And the rest of you let this happen. The message is clear: Who will police the group if not its members?

I decide that Condon is the greatest teacher/facilitator I have ever encountered, and watching him work is almost worth the price I’ve paid in exhaustion and stress and dollars.

My admiration for Condon’s abilities grows even as my opinion of the ever more adhesive group diminishes. His morning vigilante challenge inspires a handful of core participants, including my UFO friend, to begin monitoring our integrity. "People," they yell into the atrium as our break time dwindles. "Five minutes! Don’t be late, people!" And it hits me how much I hate people who use the word people to address large groups.

To transform, to live your life powerfully, you must move into a realm without fear and so we talk a lot about what frightens us.

Near the end of an endless day, Barry leads us in a visualization exercise about fear that goes something like this: We are told to close our eyes as he reads to us from what sounds like a bizarro relaxation script. "Imagine that are afraid of the person next to you," he says. "Very afraid."
He’s quiet a minute, lets the anxiety he’s inspired percolate. I start to hear uneasy emotion-suppressing sighs.

"Now…imagine that you are afraid of everyone in the room. Imagine that you are afraid of every single person in the city of Oakland, hundreds of thousands of people."

I’m sitting near the front of the room, and behind me, off to the left, I hear whimpering.

"Imagine you are afraid of every person in the United States." The whimpering intensifies. "Imagine you are afraid of every single person, all 6 billion people in the world." The whimpering becomes sobbing: further behind me someone might be hyperventilating.

"Don’t go unconscious! "Don’t go unconscious!" he yells. "That’s jus

The sobbing becomes wailing. And then, from right behind me, some lets rip a wild, primal, angst-ridden, high-decibel growl, like I once heard from my dog when she having a wild dream.

Then Barry says, "Just wait! There’s a surprise on the other side of this. Something absurd!" Sobbing, growling, and whimpering fill the air.

"Now, are you ready for the surprise? Imagine the person next to you is—guess what?—afraid of you." Barry breaks into a giggle just the side of maniacal.

"Now imagine everyone in the room, in Oakland, in America, in the world, is afraid of you!"

The sobbing begins to turn to laughter. We open our eyes onto a world in which we are powerful because we don’t feel fear, we instill it. I guess. I’m not particularly moved by the exercise. But Barry’s performance has provoked in the group a hasty swing of the emotional pendulum that reveals an ever-growing willingness to be led. I know everyone is tired, but their mutability disgusts me. I’d thought we were supposed to become more powerful here.

Apparently, Condon is aware of the chronic bleeding of the group’s self-will. Shortly, he begins to drill into our heads the essential nature of spreading the Landmark word, or "enrolling," which in Forumspeak refers to our urgent obligation to share our transformation with everyone whom we meet so they are "touched, moved, and inspired," but which I take to mean our obligation to market the curriculum relentlessly for the rest of our lives.

A guy called his father the night before to "get complete" with him, and overall it ahs gone well. Unfortunately, he neglected to ask him to come to our graduation night, when we are supposed to bring new recruits.

Condon is furious.

Not only are you not getting it, he tells us, but now you are really running short on time. It’s the fourth quarter and are down 50-0, he says, and I’m thinking about refusing to coach you.

Looking naked and defenseless at the microphone, the guy who failed to invite his father to graduation tries to explain why, but Condon won’t hear it. Excuses are rackets.

The seemingly impromptu speech, which begins from the director’s chair but ends with the circulating leader a mere—a thrilling—three feet from my chair, seems to go on for hours. For long periods, Condon is silent. Fear of failure hangs in the air. This man who has tried to free us from is scaring us straight.

The tension becomes unbearable, and core participants begin to stand and ask Condon not to give up on us, to please coach us, to believe that we will "get it." Many have fallen enthusiastically into Landmark Forumspeak, and they say things like, "Richard, I have been out of my integrity, but now I am creating for myself and my life the possibility of being transformed and enrolling others in my transformation.

After nearly forty desperate hours, scant sleep, ragged emotions, aching heads and bodies hungry for Advil, after all this magnetic sucking in, I think most of us, even those careering happily toward a breakthrough, would accept anything the leader tells us, if this thing would just end. Thus, we are ready. As evening falls outside the ballroom, the imparting of the final, the essential, the transforming message of the Landmark Forum is upon us. Condon writes it on a chalkboard.

Life is empty and meaningless, and that life is empty and meaningless is empty and meaningless.

As you might imagine, with this quasi-existentialis pronouncement the room erupts in jubilation. The group is infused with energy and is acting as if the crappy past as we knew it won’t hurt us anymore, because, we’ve been told, it never really happened. Before the Forum, we were "meaning-making machines," like all the other untransformed humans. Now we are free of that affliction.

People are laughing again. Everyone is nodding like bobbleheads Condon has just flicked. There are bright beaming smiles all around me.

I’ve rarely felt more alone, but I hide my bitterness behind a wildly inauthentic smile. I actually applaud along with the group as people go to the microphone to say that they are finally free.

By the third testimonial, I can’t take it anyone. I turn to the woman next to me, point to where Condon has written the meaningless message, and say, "You really believe that?" She turns dark, crosses her legs, folds her arms, and appears to regret having invited me to join her and her Landmarkian boyfriend for dinner. I am not cooperating. The group and I have officially rejected each other. I am an outlier and always will be.

I’d though I wanted change as much as anyone else in this room. And like any good American, I though I wanted it in a weekend. But these breakthroughs I’m witnessing here seem too sudden, too arbitrary, too much in line with somebody else’s idea of who or how we ought to be. They seem far too dependent on our weaknesses and our currently weakened state.

Most of those I meet at the Landmark Forum tell me they came at the unrelenting appeals of their recruiters. Nevertheless, I’d say a good 75 percent from my group sign up for the next seminar of their own free will. (Indeed, many will go on to host Landmark Forum recruitment meetings in their homes or to become trainees who keep the chairs lined up sharply, monitor the ballroom doors, pass mysterious notes to the leader, and are generous with hugs, warm smiles, and advice for Landmark neophytes.) I’m bewildered by their desire to spend four more interminable days staring at themselves. By now I am so sick of myself and my rackets that all I want to do is go home and read tragic biographies of complete strangers or help old people I’ve never met cross busy streets. Anything to take my mind off of me.

During the frenzy of enrollment, those of us who’ve remained steadfast are paired up for one final sharing exercise. My partner is a young man with a laid-back Jimmy Steward drawl. We’ve been instructed to discuss how we are going to live a life of integrity, or something. But he’s got a problem. The night before the course started, back when he had no integrity, he got laid. "By a really great girl," he says. Now he’s wondering if he needs to tell his girlfriend about it. I’m not sure what to tell him at first, but then I make a suggestion. "Maybe you should go ask Richard what to do."

"But …we’re supposed to go on vacation next week," he says. "I don’t want to ruin it."

Jimmy Stewart has stuck it out, but he doesn’t really want to change. I feel the same way. I don’t want to be what they want me to be. Maybe, as Condon has told us, this makes me "cynical and resigned." Maybe. It’s a strange but enduring contradiction in me, and perhaps in you, too: Much as I hate myself sometimes, much as I crave change, I really don’t want to be anybody else.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sexual Predators and The Mikvah - by Jewish Whistleblower

The image “http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/cbc2.jpeg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.The image “http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/R'EphraimBryks2.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
From: Jewish Whistleblower (JWB)

It really should come as no surprise that children are targetted at mikvahs by sexual predators. Parents often leave their unattended or attended by those at the mikvah while they are using the mikvah.

Predators will prey on children wherever they can gain access.

I would note the post below, which remains accurate and that the Vaad Harabonim of Queens continues to promote the mikvah on their website.

Note it is at the same address:
1)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&pb=f&q=%22ephraim+Bryks%22+ny&pb=f
Ephraim Bryks (718) 849-4140 8433 116th St,Richmond Hill, NY 11418

2)
http://www.queensvaad.org/mikvah/
Name: Mikvah of Kew Gardens Address: 84-33 116th St. Kew Gardens, NY 11415
Supervision: Rabbi Treiger Schedule: Women - Open Fri. Night/Yom Tov - By appointment only
Men - By appointment only
Phone: 718-849-0065

3)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=718-849-0065+


see:
http://jewishsurvivors.blogspot.com/2005/02/alleged-sex-offender-operated-mikvah.html

Alleged Sex Offender Operated a Mikvah Out of His Home (Rabbi Ephraim Bryks)
Rabbi Ephraim Boruch Bryks has a mikvah operated out of his home:

see:
http://www.queensvaad.org/mikvah/
Name: Mikvah of Kew Gardens
Address: 84-33 116th St. Kew

http://www.google.com/search?sa=X&amp;amp;oi=fwp&pb=f&q=%22(718)+849-0065%22+ny
and
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&pb=f&q=%22ephraim+bryks%22+ny&pb=f


*************************

So there is no confusion, the Mikvah gives out Rabbi Ephraim Bryks' listed home phone number as the alternate number for the mikvah. The main mikvah number is now unlisted. When it was listed it gave Rabbi Bryks' home address.

1)
http://ccfnewyork.com/mikvhe.html
Kew Gardens
Name: Mikvah Of Kew Gardens
Address: Corner Of Beverly & Audley, A
Cross Streets: CORNER OF BEVERLY & AUDLEY
City: Kew Gardens
State/Province: NY
Postal Code: 11418
Country: USA
Supervision: RABBI TREIGER
Schedule: SHABBOS AND YOM TOV ONLY, BY APPOINTMENT
Mikvah Tel. #: 718 849 0065
Alternate Tel. #: 718-849-4140
Mikvah Type: BOR AL GABAI BOR


2)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=%22718-849-4140%22
Ephraim Bryks (718) 849-4140 8433 116th St, Richmond Hill, NY 11418

Also watch the video

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Men's-only Swim in the Baltimore Park Heights JCC

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Park Heights JCC - Then and Now

I met a (non-Jewish) guy who worked at the Park Heights JCC in Baltimore around 1994-1997. He told me that he was shocked at what goes on there at the men's-only Sunday morning swim. The men there identified themselves as Hassidic. Apparently, everyone swims nude, including the children. The men lounge around in the buff on the leather couches.

"There's something really disturbing about seeing a 40 year old man perform a backflip naked," he said.

What I find most disturbing about this is the presence of children and the laissez faire attitude. This is a situation ripe for sexual abuse. Another disturbing aspect of this is that I thought the Hassidim stringently follow the laws of modesty, which this seems to violate. If the men want to enjoy themselves and swim in the nude, I don't really have a problem with that. It's the presence of children that I find irresponsible and distubring.

Does anyone know more about this, or have any opinions? The children in the Hassidic community, particularly, need to be protected against sexual abuse, since once it happens, there is little hope that it will be reported or the child will get proper treatment. This is something that will have a lasting impact on the child's life.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Mikvah - Suggested Protocols to Protect Minors

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Please download this important article compiled by The Awareness Center, Inc.

The Mikvah - Suggested Protocols to Protect Minors
© (2006) By The Awareness Center, Inc.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Wheel of Excuses and Rabbi Marc Gafni

From The Awareness Center's daily Newsletter

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Ted Haggard /Marc Gafni

Pastor Ted Haggard's Wheel of Excuses


There should be a Wheel of Excuses for Rabbi Marc Gafni and the sex crimes he admitted to over the last few years. The statements would be different, yet the end result would be the same.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Case of a Sexual Assault in a Mikvah

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Comments from Vicki Polin, Executive Director of The Awareness Center, Inc.:
This is the first time I've heard allegations being made of a sexual assault in a mikvah. This is something we all need to be concerned with. If you have ideas of how we can all keep our children and young adults safe when using a mikvah please forward them to me. I'm sure this is not the first or last case of an assault in a mikvah. It's just the first time I've heard it.

Painting the city pink
By Daphana Baram
(UK) The Guardian
November 8, 2006


Goel Pinto, a gay journalist who was raised in the Orthodox religious community in Jerusalem and moved to Tel Aviv after having come out and abandoned religion, told of a sexual assault he was subjected to as a child by an ultra-Orthodox man in the local mikvah (ritual bathing establishment).

For full story click here
For more resources for Jewish GLBT survivors of sexual violence click here

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Lashon Hara in a group setting - what is the halacha?

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I was sent the following questions that were posted on a list serv for religious psychotherapists regarding Lashon Hara in a therapeutic setting.

I think this is a perfect example of why survivors of sex crimes have to be extremely careful when they are looking for a therapist in the observant world.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be disclosing your abuse history and your therapist stops you midstream and tells you what you are saying is Lashon Hara?

Perhaps some can make a case about speaking out in a group therapy setting, yet when one stops to think about the reasons why a survivor of a sex crime would be in a therapeutic group, the concept of Lashon Hara seem ridiculous.

Would say that it is Lashon Hara to speak with a rabbi (i.e., in the spiritual counselor's hat) about people to seek help and support. Should that also be forbidden? For many speaking to a therapist is very similar speaking with a rabbi.

It would be the same sort of stupidity to ask if it is okay to show the body to a doctor (i.e. forgoing modesty rules). Would a woman give birth in full clothing because it is not allowed to show Erva (i.e., privates) to a doctor?

You do what you need to do in the right setting to heal. Just like a physical ailment, pain has boundaries that flex for doctor's appointments and modesty, psychological issues calls for flexing of the usual 'what you can and cannot talk about with others' rules.

*******************
Subj: Lashon Hara in a group setting - what is the halacha?
QUERY:
What is the range of halacha in expressing feelings in a group setting in terms of lashon hara and motzei shemra? Could any terms at the beginning be expressed by the therapist....what would those terms be, and what would be the ramifications of doing that?

*********

The Lashon Hara question is such an interesting one! I love this listserv - all these issues I never learned about in grad school! I will add to the question: Is there an issue of Lashon Hara in any therapy session - not just group? Especially in small community settings, where there is a greater likelihood of the therapist knowing the parties mentioned?

As far as setting limits about what can and cannot be talked about in therapy - yowza! I shudder thinking about the therapeutic implications of that one!

________, Psy.D.

Case Against Burton L. Hirsch Funeral Home (Pittsburg, PA)


Women sue funeral homes for harassment
They also claim economic bias against Jews
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
By Steve Levin


During the past two years at the Burton L. Hirsch Funeral Home in Squirrel Hill, male employees sexually harassed their female co-workers, held alcohol-fueled parties, charged higher funeral service prices to Jewish families and did not observe Jewish ritual funeral practices, according to a civil complaint filed yesterday in U.S. District Court.

The lawsuit, filed in the court's Western District of Pennsylvania in Pittsburgh, also names H.P. Brandt Funeral Home in Ross, H. Samson Funeral Home in Oakland, a Harrisburg funeral home and the parent company of all four, Alderwoods Group. It alleges that licensed female employees were paid less than unlicensed male employees and that an unnamed male employee at Brandt abused the corpses of men and women.

Officials with Cincinnati-based Alderwoods, one of the largest operators of funeral homes and cemeteries in North America, did not respond yesterday to interview requests.

Charles H. Saul of the Downtown law firm Margolis Edelstein, one of two attorneys filing the lawsuit on behalf of (Name Removed) of Shadyside and (Name Removed) of Greensburg, declined comment.

The lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages, comes almost a year after Ms. (Survivor #1) filed a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission against Alderwoods, alleging religious harassment and discrimination. Because of delays in hearing that claim, and two filed earlier by Ms. (survivor #2), the EEOC issued a "right-to-sue" letter for both women, leading to yesterday's lawsuit.

In March 2005, Harrisburg-area rabbis published a letter in the local Jewish newspaper recommending the Jewish community stop using an Alderwoods-owned funeral home. The switch, after 53 years with the same funeral home, was made after the rabbis urged people to "re-examine the manner in which funeral services are provided."

One of the basic principles of Jewish funeral arrangements is "
kavod hamet," or honor for the deceased.

After complaints about practices at Hirsch circulated in the Pittsburgh Jewish community last fall, Alderwoods issued an open letter about that funeral home. The letter stated that "our policies and procedures with regards to respecting the Jewish faith remain unchanged. [Hirsch] provides services in a manner that is fully compliant with Jewish laws."

But according to the lawsuit, Michael Hilgefort, funeral director at Hirsch, ordered the removal of prayer shawls from the corpses of Jewish men before burial, without their families' consent, in order "to re-use them on other bodies," an action that contravenes Jewish custom and tradition.

The lawsuit claims the funeral home not only charged Jewish families for services not rendered, but also charged them higher prices than non-Jews for such services as preparation of bodies, transportation and the forwarding of bodies to other funeral homes.

For example, according to 2005 Alderwoods Group "Funeral Planning Guides" for the Brandt and Hirsch funeral homes, the cost of forwarding remains to another funeral home is $1,165 higher at Hirsch.

In 2005, Hirsch, which conducts about 100 Jewish funerals annually and advertises itself as Squirrel Hill's only Jewish funeral home, charged $350 for dressing the body, placing it in the casket and cosmetology. The same service at Brandt cost $200. An on-premise memorial service at Hirsch cost $160 more than at Brandt, and an off-premise service cost $185 more at Hirsch.

Alderwoods owns 579 funeral homes, 72 cemeteries and 61 combination funeral homes and cemeteries. It has 8,300 employees and 2005 revenues of about $182 million.

Rabbi Avi Shafran Responds to Blogger UOJ

From: The Awareness Center, Inc. Daily Newsletter
The following e-mail was forward to me by Rabbi Avi Shaffran. It is a response to the request blogger UOJ (Unorthodox Jew) made to speak at the upcoming Agudath Israel conference.
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Dear Mr. Jew,

We appreciate and thank you for your offer but don’t feel it would be proper for us to accept it.

You have made clear in your blogging your utter disdain and contempt for Agudath Israel and the rabbinic authorities to whom we look for guidance, as well as rabbinic luminaries from other camps and even from other generations.

We realize that you regard yourself as a pure-hearted public servant/prophet, and far be it from us to deny you your self-regard. But, we hope you understand, it would be irresponsible of us to assist you in your personal goals.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Avi Shafran
------------------------------

Below is copy of the original letter sent to Rabbi Avi Shafran by UOJ.


Date: November 2, 2006
From: Unorthodox Jew
Subject: Respectfully requesting an invitation to respond to David Zweibel, Ephraim Wachsman & Mattisyahu Solomon
To: shafran@agudathisrael.org


Dear Rabbi Shafran & Rabbi Zweibel,

I'm respectfully requesting an invitation to the Agudath Israel Convention's Thursday evening session. I would like the opportunity to publicly respond from the podium to the above featured speakers.

I guarantee that all language will be totally appropriate for the distinguished crowd of rabbis and laymen.

My ideas and writings represent a silent majority of Orthodox Jews globally; if you truly care about the welfare of all Orthodox Jews, you would not be concerned about letting me appeal to your audience's intellect and sensibilities.

You're certain to get national and international media attention; let the authentic Torah views prevail.

I'm hoping for an affirmative response at your earliest convenience; I would like to have enough time to prepare my divrei Torah and chizuk.

Very Sincerely,
UOJ The Unorthodox Jew
www.theunorthodoxjew.blogspot.com

Sex Offender's Failure to Register is now a federal Crime

The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act now makes failing to register as a sex offender, a federal crime.

Watch The Video
Penalties Increasing For Sex Offenders Who Don't Register
Adam WalshAdam Walsh

Monday, November 06, 2006

CALL TO ACTION: Case of Rabbi Marc Gafni (Mordechai Gafni)

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Rabbi Phyllis BermanThe image “http://www.emagazine.com/images/1102feat1_waskow.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
From: The Awareness Center, Inc.

I was given permission to make the following letter public.

We all must demand accountablity from our religious leaders. Please contact Elat Chayyim and both Rabbis Arthur Waskow and Phyllis Berman and demand answers.

Elat Chayyim
(800) 398-2630

Rabbi Phyllis Berman
Riverside Language Program
(212) 662-3200

Rabbi Arthur Waskow
Shalom Center

(215) 844-8494


If you are a survivor of Rabbi Marc Gafni or have information regarding him, please contact The Awareness Center, Inc. 443-857-5560.

----------------------------------------------------

To: Vicki Polin, Executive Director - The Awareness Center, Inc.


November 3, 2007


Dear Ms. Polin;

I am writing as a follow-up to our recent discussion about my experience with Rabbi Marc Gafni at the Elat Chayyim retreat center during an August week-long session in 2003. I hand-wrote a strongly worded warning about him in the retreat evaluation, asking for some response. This was handed in during the closing session. I heard nothing more until I read the recent letter about his situation sent out by Arthur Waskow on his Shalom Center mail-out.

I immediately emailed (twice) Rabbi Waskow asking to discuss my 2003 experience. When there was no response, I emailed Elat Chayyim as well. I have not kept that reply but an individual in their administration spoke to me by phone apologizing for either “losing” or otherwise not responding to my 2003 warning and assuring me that the their Board was doing “everything possible” to insure nothing similar would happen in the future. I asked for a specific response from the Board to me after she presented my email statement, but I have heard nothing back, and decided to just drop it until your invitation to share my experience. There has seemed to be a need to sweep this uncomfortable situation under the carpet.

Gafni’s daily session on
Tears in the Torah was one of my shiurim. We were told that he did not tolerate lateness, so to arrive early. His young assistant, Erica Fox, proceeded to start the group in singing, quiet niggunim to begin, and raising the volume and energy to a high level as Gafni made his dramatic entrance – about 5 minutes late himself – to be sure the audience was all there and pumped up?? This felt very controlling and contrived to me. Each day he strode in from the back, his long hair wet from what seemed to be his just completed shower, waving his arms and joining in to lead the singing and chants at a feverous pitch. His presentations were similarly dramatic, with much sexualized shaking of the wet locks out of his eyes and making direct eye contact and grinning at his mesmerized admirers. He seemed to direct this sexualized energy especially toward various females who hung on his every word. There was a “cult-like” atmosphere to the whole performance. None of the other shiurim felt like this.

I was shocked and disturbed and told my mishpacha group of my concern. I was promptly shot down as someone who didn’t understand the charisma of this rebbe and that I should dare to speak lashon hara against such a saint. I was horrified and went the 2nd day to a different group. After much carrying-on by others in the mishpacha group about Gafni’s brilliance that day, I decided the 3rd day to swallow hard, go back, and try to focus on the content. So I took notes the last 3 days and actually did find his points to be well researched, very relevant and at times, actually quite moving.

Occasionally, I glanced at Arthur Waskow and Phyllis Berman at the back to see if they looked uncomfortable with the highly sexualized presentation, but they appeared impassive or slightly amused.

By the 4th day, one very needy young woman in the mishpacha group was gushing on about Gafni having taken a special interest in her, giving her extra private teaching time and that she was going to continue corresponding with him after the retreat. I spoke out again to her and my group of my serious reservations, to the same dismissive reaction.

Erev Shabbat was the last straw. After services, I was in a contemplative mood and decided to go for a walk down the road in the dark to a wooded area, far away from the lodge. I had no flashlight but felt very safe at this secluded retreat center. Who did I stumble upon but the rebbe himself with a lovely young woman, definitely not his wife, Cary. He stepped back from her quickly and said a brusque “Shabbat Shalom” as I hurried by. My adrenalin was racing and I struggling with ruining Shabbat with an angry disclosure to Phyllis Berman, but as a first time participant, decided to wait until the closing evaluation time.

In retrospect, I should have had the courage to speak to Waskow and Berman directly and demand direct action, but I opted instead for my hand written statement that was apparently “lost” or otherwise ignored.

I have agreed to share my story now in the hopes that others who were inappropriately approached by Gafni or who witnessed or tried to warn of his actions may decide to come forward and help to get this situation properly resolved. Not only do any victims need clear Jewish community acknowledgement and assistance, but also leaders who employed Gafni need to take responsibility for not supervising him and for not responding to the warnings they did receive. I believe Gafni needs to face the consequences of his actions and also to receive treatment.


Respectfully,
Carol McMullen

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Cyberthreats: Does Internet put youth at risk?

by Eric Fingerhut , Staff Writer
Washington Jewish Week, MD
November 3, 2006

Alissa Katz once had an account on the popular social networking site MySpace. But then the Brookeville 16-year-old received some "messages from really strange people."

Although the messages lacked inappropriate language, she thought it odd to receive a note from someone in Australia telling her that her profile "seems really interesting."

"When the first one happened, I just deleted it," she recalled. "But it happened again, and I became more aware of the fact that [MySpace] is so public. I just didn't feel comfortable" having her name, photo and other personal information available to everyone.

So the Sherwood High School junior deleted her MySpace account and has joined Facebook, another online social networking community that she describes as "a little safer" than MySpace. Facebook requires that members be invited to join by another member instead of just being able to log on and join.

Katz is attuned to the potential dangers lurking on the Internet, but are other Jewish teens?

Some local Jewish day schools and national Jewish youth groups are taking steps to make sure youngsters are aware of possible problems.

The issue has gained renewed prominence in recent days with the revelations about former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.), who was using the Internet to chat with teenagers in the congressional page program.

It also has been hard to avoid a scenario that has been televised scores of times during the past year. A man walks into a quiet house, apparently expecting to have an intimate encounter with an underage boy or girl whom he met over the Internet. The man hears someone telling him that he or she will "be right down," but, instead, the man is confronted by a television reporter and a camera crew.

While the Dateline NBC "To Catch a Predator" series has exposed hundreds of these potential predators on air, and some of them -- including a local rabbi -- have been arrested and convicted of crimes, there could be countless more lurking in cyberspace hoping to connect with a child.

Of 10-17-year-olds online, one in seven has received a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet, according to a study by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire.

Parents "need to know what their kids are doing," said computer consultant Debbie Kovalsky, who gives lectures to both parents and kids about Internet safety. Owner of the company Computer Training Wheels, the Sandy Spring resident also works with parents to install "tools to allow them to monitor what their kids are doing," such as programs that provide mothers and fathers with periodic reports of their child's online activity via e-mail.

Pointing to a child quickly covering up or changing a computer screen when a parent walks into the room as a warning sign, Kovalsky suggests that parents talk to their children about online activities and tell them they are monitoring them.

"My kids know I may or may not be reading" their activity online, she said. "We talk about it a lot and they know Mom's in there."

Kovalsky said youngsters can often be revealing too much information and not realize it, providing the hypothetical example of a 14-year-old girl who enters a soccer chat room. Her screen name might reveal her age for instance, and innocently answering questions about her team name, when her next game is or where she lives can inadvertently reveal too much information to someone who might be intending harm.

A number of local Jewish day schools are helping parents by providing their students with information about cyberthreats. At Gesher Jewish Day School in Fairfax, head of school Zvi Schoenburg said a county police officer speaks to the sixth-, seventh- and eighth-grade computer classes each spring to emphasize the importance of not giving out personal information or engaging in conversations with strangers over the Internet.

Students and parents must sign a form agreeing that they will use the Internet appropriately at school, and not reveal their own or anyone else's personal information online.

"It's important to lay the groundwork for the correct habits" on the Internet, said Schoenburg, adding that "we do the best we can" and that the program has been well-received by parents.

Lessons in Internet safety also are given regularly to the middle school students at Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School in Rockville -- as well as their parents -- said Roz Landy, interim principal of the upper school.

Last year, both students and parents heard a talk on "Internet bullying" -- posting or sending derogatory messages about another person, sometimes anonymously -- from JDS graduate Rachel Simmons, author of the best-selling book Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls (the basis for the successful movie Mean Girls.)

Landy, who said a recent ninth-grade parents meeting brought requests for more information on the topic, plans to bring in a speaker to provide tips and answer questions.

She said parents have a particular need for education because unlike some other teen dangers, "they didn't grow up with" the Internet and often don't have a complete understanding of the problem.

One Jewish day school student suggested, though, that the emphasis on Internet safety at her school was overkill. A junior at Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy in Rockville, 16-year-old Rachel Stern said that while "it's good to be reminded, so you're on your guard," the 8-10 student assemblies that she estimated were convened last school year to lay out the dangers of the Internet were "way too much."

She suggested that perhaps some of that attention should revert back to more traditional teen dangers, such as drugs.

Most kids know to avoid becoming friends with "random people," she said.

"We're not going to accept someone as a friend" on a Facebook page "if we don't know them," said Stern, and students are careful about posting personal information on the Internet.

Katz, on the other hand, said her public school hasn't held any such assemblies or provided such information in class. She thinks it might be a good idea to discuss such matters once in a while. She also noted that MySpace, Facebook and similar sites are all blocked on school computers, and such an assembly might be a good opportunity to explain why such a choice was made by the school.

Katz is a member of B'nai B'rith Youth Organization, but said she had not yet tried out that Jewish youth group's own social networking site, b-linked -- which Katz called the "Jewish Facebook."

Celebrating its first birthday this month, b-linked has more than 8,000 members and an extra layer of protection -- the 100 BBYO staffers across North America who are "monitoring the whole process," said BBYO director of marketing and communications Abby Strunk. That includes one person whose sole job is to act as an "overseer" and "make sure everything going on on the site is kosher."

Strunk said that the organization consulted with an Internet security expert while creating the site, and the parents of every teen who registers on the site is sent information about Internet safety for kids.

"Social networking is not foolproof," Strunk said, but she said the site has a strong "self-policing" element. Members can decide who can message them, and block senders they don't want. They also can contact BBYO officials if they believe someone is being inappropriate -- although she said that the site has not had to ban anyone.

Strunk said that BBYO's New York region is working on a Internet safety program with the New York Police Department, and that it could be used as a template for BBYO regions throughout the country.

Meanwhile, North American Federation of Temple Youth is teaching its members about the importance of being ethical in cyberspace.

"OurSpace: Recommendation Regarding Maintaining NFTY's Sanctity in Online Spaces" notes that some statements made online "are in direct conflict with middot, our Jewish values," and that the group's leaders should be "vigilant about helping to maintain NFTY's shem tov, good name."

The statement has been distributed to all 19 regions of the Reform movement's youth group, after its importance was graphically demonstrated at the group's board meeting this summer.

NFTY president and George Washington University freshman Dean Carson said that the group printed out 5,000 pages posted by NFTYites on the various MySpace, Facebook and other Web sites and tacked them in a meeting room.

"There was a lot of very inappropriate stuff," from photos to language, on the sites, and "it got to a lot of people," many of whom deleted their MySpace sites as soon as possible after the event.

"They didn't realize, as leaders of our movement, [they should] make sure they're role models," said Carson.

"When you're [posting] in online forums, you need to be cautious," said Carson. "They're completely open and in the public domain."

Friday, November 03, 2006

Letter from UJO to Rabbi Avi Shafran - Request to speak at conference.

Date: November 2, 2006
From: Unorthodox Jew
Subject: Respectfully requesting an invitation to respond to David Zweibel, Ephraim Wachsman & Mattisyahu Solomon
To: Rabbi Avi Shafran, Agudath Israel


Dear Rabbi Shafran & Rabbi Zweibel,

I'm respectfully requesting an invitation to the Agudath Israel Convention's Thursday evening session. I would like the opportunity to publicly respond from the podium to the above featured speakers.

I guarantee that all language will be totally appropriate for the distinguished crowd of rabbis and laymen.

My ideas and writings represent a
silent majority of Orthodox Jews globally; if you truly care about the welfare of all Orthodox Jews, you would not be concerned about letting me appeal to your audience's intellect and sensibilities.

You're certain to get national and international media attention; let the
authentic Torah views prevail.

I'm hoping for an affirmative response at your earliest convenience; I would like to have enough time to prepare my divrei Torah and chizuk.

Very Sincerely,
UOJ

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Chana Weinberg - Part Of The Problem! (definitely, not the solution)

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Are parents of adult children responsible at all for the inappropriate behavior of thier offspring?

When you have six children and complaints have been made about three of them, could there have been a problem with your parenting skills?

I have a real problem with anyone promoting Hanna Ruderman - Weinberg. Over the years she has done absolutely nothing to help the survivors of her son rabbi Matis Weinberg, who is an alleged sex offender. I found the following bio on the web and it made me sick.

Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg is making herself out to be the guru for battered women a sort of saint.
The first allegations that were made against her son Matis of molestation was when he was around 16 years old. In the 1980's when allegations were made again (including cult like practices), she did her best to protect the Weinberg /Ruderman name. The risk management included her interest in the plight of battered women. Her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg began his involvement with the anti-cult/anti-missionary group - Jews for Judaism. One has to wonder about the authenticity of their involvement considering these factors.

We also have to ask about Chana's ex-daughter-in-law, who was once married to rabbi Simcha Weinberg's. How does she feel about the rebbetzin's involvement with battered women? Don't forget that Chana's pious son, rabbi Simcha Weinberg has a history of sexual indiscretions with other women while he was married. I've heard rumors of the ugly divorce.

Then there's the issue of Chana's lovely daughter, the psychologist in Baltimore - Aviva Weisbord. All one needs to do is read the case of Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau to learn about Aviva's alleged unethical professional behavior.

We need to stop being in awe of individuals who are the children of famous rabbinical leaders. I personally believe that being born into the family of pious individuals should not give you automatic credibility. Honor and respect is something that needs to be earned!

Hanna Weinberg is a part of the problem and not the solution. She's more interested in protecting her families name then she is about protecting our children!
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Aviva Weinberg-Weisbord / Rabbi Matis Weinberg

Women Who Dare - NOT!
Hanna Weinberg (nè Ruderman) was born in Germany in 1927 and grew up in Slobodka, then in Lithuania. In 1931, the Ruderman family moved to Cleveland, Ohio where her father, Rabbi Yaacov Yitzchok Ruderman, served as one of the teachers at the Yeshiva. After two years, the family relocated to Baltimore, Maryland where Rabbi Ruderman founded and headed a yeshiva named Ner Israel. From the age of six until the present day, Hanna Weinberg's life has been intimately intertwined with both Orthodoxy and Ner Israel Yeshiva.

During the early 1980s, Rebbetzin Weinberg became increasing concerned about the problem of domestic abuse in the Jewish community (NOTE: this is around the same time that allegations were being made against her son Matis of cult like practices and molesting boys in California. Her husband Rabbi Weinberg began working with Jews for Judaism around this same time). Working behind the scenes on a local level, she established two safe houses for battered women. Coupled with an informal network of volunteers, these programs assisted with taking women to the hospital, picking children up from school, providing monetary aid to the abused woman, subsidizing legal support and providing career advice. On a national scale, Rebbetzin Weinberg raised the issue of domestic violence and abuse with other leading rabbis, sometimes in the face of disbelief, apathy and denial. In the same decade, she joined the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, founded by Rev. Marie Fortune, as an advisor on the Orthodox Jewish approach to domestic violence.

In addition to her advisory work on a national level, Rebbetzin Weinberg was also consulted on the formation of CHANA (Counseling Helpline and Aid Network for Abused Women) a project of The Associated: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore. While remaining active as a community educator on the problems of domestic violence, Rebbetzin Weinberg gained certification in geriatrics at Villa Julie College and went on to serve as Director of Volunteer Services at the Jewish Convalescent and Nursing Home. Her interest in the more fragile members of the Jewish community was extended to caring for all those in need through the group she created called Bikur Holim (visiting the sick). This comprehensive organization now boasts over 90 volunteers, whose services include visiting the sick in the hospital, providing transportation to medical appointments and hospitals, offering a mother-toddler and geriatric group that enables cross generational interaction, and giving financial aid for operations and an infertility group.

Hanna Weinberg is a mother of six, a grandmother of 44 and a great-grandmother to 26 children and counting!

Agudath Israel, The Awareness Center, Blogging and Speaking Out Against Sexual Violence

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Vicki Polin / Rabbi Avi Shafran

The following message comes from Vicki Polin at The Awareness Center, Inc. It's a response to comments made by Agudath Israel and blogging.

Vicki Polin:
It's interesting that Agudath Israel is concerned about individuals speaking out publicly on blogs. Most bloggers speak about the problems within their communities. It's sad to know that those who speak out do not feel their voices would be heard any other way. Instead of Agudah Israel trying to encourage their members not to read blogs, perhaps they should be paying attention to what is being said and make that changes need to address the problems?

I also wonder if The Awareness Center is having an influence on Agudah Israel? Don't you think it's about time they have workshops at their conference on sexual violence (child sexual abuse, sexual assault, professional sexual misconduct and clergy abuse)?

Perhaps in the future they will become the financial sponsor of The Awareness Center's certification program for Rabbis, Cantors and other community leaders. I'm sure that Agudah Israel really wants to do the right thing and change their policies in the way they deal with children being sexually abused or adults being sexually violated. Please feel free to contact Rabbi Avi Shafran and let him know it's time for a change.


Agudah Israel:
"In recent years, though," the Agudah leader observes, "due to a variety of factors, the authority of daas Torah has been significantly undermined, even within our own chareidi circles. Most troubling has been the proliferation of Internet 'blogs' where misguided individuals feel free to spread every bit of rechilus and loshon hora about rabbonim and roshei yeshiva, all with the intended effect of undermining any semblance of Torah authority in our community. It is most appropriate for an organization like Agudath Israel, whose very essence was built on the recognition of the authority of Torah leaders, to address this issue head on, and formulate concrete plans to reinvigorate public awareness of this essential element of the Torah way of life."

Sample of Blogs

Agudath Israel Convention at New Location

by Yated Ne'eman Staff
Yated Ne'eman
November 1, 2006


Agudath Israel of America's 84th National Convention is to be held November 23-26 at a new location: The Sheraton Stamford Hotel in Stamford, Connecticut. Well-known community askan Dr. David Diamond will serve as the chairman.

According to organizers, this year's convention program will focus on a number of important topical issues, each of which will be explored from practical, halachic and hashkafic perspectives throughout the weekend. The innovative format, introduced last year to popular acclaim, is designed to maximize the time delegates can interact with roshei yeshiva, rabbonim and special presenters in working to devise plans of action for dealing with particular problems.

"Last year's convention, which dealt with issues like tuition, shidduchim, political activism, and kids-at- risk proved to be the springboard for a number of exciting new initiatives which are already bearing fruit," says Agudath Israel associate executive director Rabbi Labish Becker.

Organizers have also announced that the Keynote session, held for the last several years on Thursday night, will once again take place on motzei Shabbos. Each year, the convention keynote session attracts thousands of outside guests from throughout the tri-state area.

There are many reasons to attend an Agudath Israel of America national convention, observes Dr. Diamond, noting that the opportunity to benefit from the thoughts and hadracha of gedolei doreinu and the chance to make a real difference by participating in planning sessions and discussions are not least among them.

But there is another important reason to participate in a convention, he says, one that has to do with empowering Agudath Israel to realize its maximum potential in the realm of shtadlonus both within the larger Jewish world and outside of it — in the halls of courts and the corridors of Congress.

"Our annual convention is a major yardstick by which our strength as a movement is measured. When there is widespread recognition of the vast number of people who support this organization and share its ideals, the potential for accomplishment is unlimited."


Thursday Night at the Agudah Convention

Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon, mashgiach, Bais Medrash Govoha; Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman, rosh hayeshiva, Maor Yitzchok, Monsey; and Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, Agudath Israel of America executive vice president for government and public affairs, will be the featured speakers at the Thursday night plenary session of Agudath Israel of America's upcoming convention.

The Thursday night session is entitled "Torah Wisdom/Torah Authority: Are We Losing the Connection?"

"Klal Yisroel has always understood that its true leaders are the gedolei Yisroel, the einei ho'eidoh whose uniquely refined vision enables them to guide the Jewish people through the darkest of situations," says Rabbi Zwiebel.

"In recent years, though," the Agudah leader observes, "due to a variety of factors, the authority of daas Torah has been significantly undermined, even within our own chareidi circles. Most troubling has been the proliferation of Internet 'blogs' where misguided individuals feel free to spread every bit of rechilus and loshon hora about rabbonim and roshei yeshiva, all with the intended effect of undermining any semblance of Torah authority in our community. It is most appropriate for an organization like Agudath Israel, whose very essence was built on the recognition of the authority of Torah leaders, to address this issue head on, and formulate concrete plans to reinvigorate public awareness of this essential element of the Torah way of life."

Case of Jacob Binson - Domestic Violence: refusing to give a get (Jewish Divorce)

Rabbis pressure man to grant get
By Joel Goldenberg
The Suburban (Quebec, Canada)
November 1, 2006


Photo by Rob Taussig, The Suburban
Rabbis Jacobson, Steinmetz and Whitman stand at Jacob Binson’s apartment door, calling his name and urging him to respond.

Pearl Binson has been trying to get a Jewish divorce from Jacob Binson, the man she divorced civilly several years ago. But according to Jewish law, both parties must agree before a couple can be granted a divorce, called a get.

Last Friday several rabbis and some 20 members of the Jewish community protested outside the apartment building on Beaucourt Street in Côte des Neiges where Jacob Binson lives, to try and pressure him to grant his ex-wife a get.

During the protest, Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz of Côte St. Luc’s Tifereth Beth David Jerusalem Synagogue, Rabbi Michael Whitman of Hampstead’s Adath Israel Synagogue and Rabbi Asher Jacobson of Chevra Kadisha Synagogue knocked on Binson’s apartment door and loudly called his name in Hebrew and English, but there was no answer. The number on his apartment door had been changed, and his phone is out of service. The rabbis had with them a form for Binson to sign, used in extraordinary circumstances, to authorize the Jewish ecclesiastical court to write and deliver the get.

“All he would have to do is sign it in front of two witnesses, and this would be over.”

According to Steinmetz, it is time for Jewish religious authorities to consider a reform of the process to obtain a get in light of spouses who abuse the process.

According to the Jewish Virtual Library website, a marriage can only be dissolved when both parties agree to sign a get.

“Reform is something that certainly needs to be looked at very seriously, that’s a long-term issue that needs to be looked into and corrected,” Steinmetz said. “But it needs a very large [international] consensus.”

Rabbi Saul Emanuel, executive director of the Jewish Community Council of Montreal, says the Torah, the Jewish book of laws, determines the rules.

“We have to convince people and work much harder to educate them as to the importance of ensuring spouses give their wives a get. We have to fit in with Torah, Torah doesn’t have to fit in with us.”

Whitman said many local rabbis have met with Jacob Binson and his mother, and have “pleaded, cajoled, yelled, saying the same thing. There are no complexities, he just refuses to do what he’s supposed to do.”

Jacobson said he spoke to Jacob Binson and members of his family on many occasions.

“He’s very stubborn,” Jacobson said. “In his own world, he believes there’s a point of reconciliation that can take place. That’s completely unrealistic, knowing the case.”

A simultaneous protest was held in New York, at the home of Binson’s mother Esther, who the rabbis say is encouraging her son not to sign the document.

“[The mother] has threatened to kill anyone who rallies in front of her house,” Whitman said. “I’m hoping that’s an exaggeration.”

Whitman said he, with rabbis Steinmetz and Emanuel, spoke to Esther Binson when she visited Montreal.

“She yelled and screamed the most ugly, vituperative cursing insults, none of which made any sense.”

“We recognize, in divorces, it’s never perfectly beautiful and clean,” Steinmetz said. “To use what is a requirement of Jewish law as leverage in negotiations is completely unacceptable. What you are doing is using Judaism to extort and hurt another person. It’s like beating your wife with a Bible. Everyone who has any sense of connection to Judaism should be appalled by it.”

“This is definitely a form of general abuse,” said Sarah Bauer, who attended the protest. “Once rabbis get involved, they’re losing a lot of their religious rights. They [abusers] shouldn’t be part of religious quorums, serve on synagogue committees. They should be rejected by everybody.”

Emanuel said the rabbis will reconvene to determine further means of pressure.

Pearl Binson was also unavailable for comment despite several phone calls and a visit to her residence.

WARNING FROM TORONTO - Important Meshulach Alert!

Important Meshulach Alert!
Vaad Hatzdokah of Toronto
October 29, 2006

IPB Image
Dear Members:
The following is an important message from the Vaad Hatzdokah of Toronto:

We have been advised by our sister Vaad Hatzdokah office in London England that we are about to graced with a visit from the above meshullach collecting for "Hakav Hameachas". (See attachment for photo)

The Moised itself is of a suspicious nature, but worse, we have been informed Mr Konopnitzki served a four year jail sentence in the States for sexually abusing children. He is unable to return to Israel (he has problems there with the Authorities) has spent the past four months in the UK, and intends to remain here in Toronto for an extended period . He was initially issued certification by the London Vaad , but this was immediately withdrawn on receipt of reports of his incarceration. He is still in possession of this certificate and may well produce it to prove his authenticity.

London suspects he got up to further no good there, and recommends Toronto circulates his photo with warnings to mothers and young children to avoid contact with him. Needless to say do not contribute to this cause.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Case of John F. Berger (AKA: Tuviah Berger), St. Louis, Missouri


Man charged in 'date rape'





On the night of April 7, 2002, Tressa Gross, just a month away from graduating from Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, was out with friends, ending up at an apartment near Washington Avenue downtown.

By the next day, Gross, 26, was dead, of an overdose.

On Tuesday, more than four years later, federal authorities said they had determined who was responsible: John F. Berger, 36, of the 400 block of Washington. A federal indictment alleged that Berger had given Gross the "date rape" drug, causing her death.

U.S. Attorney Catherine L. Hanaway provided photos of Berger in a bid to find witnesses or potential victims. Hanaway said investigators believe there may be other victims because Berger frequently went out.

Hanaway said that on the night of Gross' death, Berger had been at the Washington Avenue clubs and then went to the same party as Gross. She ingested the drug at the apartment and died within hours — either before or shortly after emergency workers arrived, Hanaway said. Police later found the drug in a cup at the apartment, Hanaway said.

In July 2002, the St. Louis medical examiner determined that the cause of death was an overdose of the date rape drug.

Hanaway said investigators were still looking at whether Gross was sexually assaulted.

The drug Berger is accused of using, 1.4-butanediol, converts to Gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, or GHB, in the body. GHB is colorless, odorless and tasteless. It depresses the central nervous system and can cause drowsiness, nausea, loss of inhibition, amnesia and hallucinations. At higher does, it can cause unconsciousness, seizures, breathing trouble or death.

Preston Grubbs, special agent in charge of the DEA's St. Louis office, said investigators still are working to identify the source of the drug.

Berger turned himself in Monday and was released on $50,000 bond. He was indicted last week on charges of possession with intent to distribute 1.4 butanediol with a resulting death, possession with intent to distribute 1.4 butanediol for human consumption, cocaine distribution and possession with intent to distribute 1.4 butanediol for human consumption with death resulting.

Berger could face 20 years to life in prison and a fine of up to $4 million if convicted.

Berger could not be reached for comment at his home or the real estate investment company where he is listed as working. A call to his workplace was returned by Berger's lawyer, John Rogers.

Rogers said Berger would plead not guilty today in federal court in St. Louis.

"Obviously, it's our position that John is innocent of all charges, and we think it's a mistake that he's been charged in this case," Rogers said.

Berger is single and does not have any children, court documents say. He spent part of 2003 and 2004 in Israel and Ukraine, according to his personal website, johnberger.com. He is listed as owner or agent of several current or defunct companies on various websites or in public documents.

Berger filed for bankruptcy last year, saying he had no income between 2003 and 2005 and few assets other than a 1980 Yamaha motorcycle and a 1989 Jaguar XJS. Berger owed almost $100,000, including credit card charges and a civil judgment of more than $35,000.

Gross' mother filed a wrongful death suit against Berger and another man in 2005, alleging that the men drugged and sexually molested Gross between April 6 and 7, 2002, and knew or should have known that the drugs could cause her death. The suit, which asked for more than $10 million, was dismissed in March because the defendants were never served with the suit.

The other man named in the suit has not been criminally charged and could not be reached for comment.

Berger has a criminal record, according to federal court documents: a marijuana charge while he was in college in Madison, Wis., and a 2003 cocaine possession charge in St. Louis. The St. Louis charge was dropped in July 2003 after Berger went through drug court.

Hanaway would not comment about the delay between Gross' death and charges. Rogers said that he understood that the St. Louis circuit attorney's office was investigating the case but did not have enough evidence to file charges.

Jeannette Graviss, chief warrant officer of the St. Louis circuit attorney's office, said there was no record indicating that the office ever formally looked at the case.

Gross' mother, Sandy Murray, of St. Louis County, would not comment on the case, but she said she was relieved at the charges. "I've been so frustrated these past four years," she said. "And I hope justice will be served."

Gross' cousin, Stephanie Cates, described Gross as fun-loving, caring and charismatic. "She'd walk into a room and it would just glow," Cates said Tuesday.

Cates said Gross went from Fox High School in Arnold to the Navy. After completing her service, she lived in St. Louis and went to SIUE, majoring in mass communications. She was planning on going into advertising, Cates said.

rpatrick@post-dispatch.com | 314-621-5154