Important New Blog - Rabbinic Committee Formed to Expose Mordy Tendler

"Must be read by all adults"
According to Halacha the women are to be believed

Rabbinic Committee Formed to Expose Mordecai Tendler
Rabbinic Committee Formed to Expose Mordecai Tendler - December 24, 2005

http://rabbinicintegrity.blogspot.com/

To contact our committee with guaranteed strict confidentiality email us at: rabbisintegrity@optonline.net Should you still feel hesitant, please call one of the Rabbanim listed below. Thank you.

A Wide Spectrum of Prominent New York Rabbanim Conclude and Present Herein Their Joint Halachic View that Mordecai Tendler is Unfit to Serve in the capacity of Rav (rabbi)

In light of this, residents of greater Monsey have formed The Committee for Rabbinic Integrity that strives to prevent Mordy Tendler from continuing on in capacity of "Rav", "dayan" or "mashgiach" and to warn the entire Jewish community against having any contact with him, especially women, many of whom he has abused as well as so many families for decades.

According to the Chafetz Chayim in his vital sefer Shmiros Halashon (klal 4 halacha 7-8) it is permitted and even obligatory to record and and even a mitzvah--good deed to publicize the information contained herein:

Additionally, in light of the express permission of a wide spectrum of foremost N.Y. Rabbanim, that includes the enclosed summary translation of an important t'shuvah-- responsa expressly written for this issue, this can and must be read by all adults.

1. Summary Translation Responsa of the venerable Rav Wosner, Shlit"a

2. Rabbinic Proclamation of Leading Monsey Rabbanim (with english translation)

Note: If any of the halachic material below is printed, please discard it properly in shaimos. Thank you.

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Summary Translation for the "Responsa" written by

Harav Hagaon Rabbi Benzion Y. Wosner Shlit"a

Rosh Beis Din Shevet Halevi

Monsey - Beit Shemesh

Please note: These are excerpts only from a lengthy and very thorough T'shuvah. This translation has been authorized by Harav Hagaon Rav Wosner, Shlit"a, but has not been translated by him. This is only a summary, not at all a complete translation. One must actually read and study the original Teshuvah in its original Hebrew to get a true understanding and appreciation of this psak (Halachic ruling). All Rabbis in Monsey retain a copy of the original Teshuvah and it is thus available for anyone to study.

Please note: While Rabbi Wosner is a Gaon in his own right, and one of the leading Halachic Authorities for the Monsey Kehilla Mikvah, he is also the son of the venerable Gaon, and world renowned Posek, the author of the multi-volume responsa, Shevet Halevi of Bnei-Brak. (The great Chazon Ish Z"l is known to have recommended the Shevet Halevi as the leading authority in Bnei-Brak 50 years ago.)

The reason this vital information was not presented publicly until now* is that the Rabbanim attempted to give Tendler many chances, with the latest attempts during the Yomim Noraim, to resign as Rav and Dayan before releasing both the t'shuvah and kol-korah proclamation and if needed other very compromising information. Their patient attempts went on completely deaf ears that included his father and brother. The time to declare the Torah view has come. No more chances.

A Short Translation Summary:

Introduction:

This is in regard to an issue whereas numerous Rabbanim in our town (Monsey) have requested that I rule Halachicly, how to deal with a certain Rabbi, who deals with divorces, marriages and kashruth issues.

Unfortunately, there have been rumors about him for years that he has deliberately violated many Torah prohibitions, particularly involving immoral relations with women. To be sure that this was in fact truthful, I summoned and interviewed many men and women who reside in both New Hempstead and who reside outside of New Hempstead, and found all of this to be unfortunately true!

The women testified on his total disregard of Torah prohibitions. For example, he would meet women one on one, on the pretense that he wants to teach them Halachos and counsel them on the ways of life. Once he wins their confidence, he would, for example, forget to bring his book and ask the woman he was seeing if they could learn together using her book, thereby giving him the opportunity to move physically closer to her where they would eventually touch. He would ultimately hug the woman and subsequently perform other immoral acts that I have great difficulty putting to print!

In addition, he has brazenly dealt in difficult Halachic marriage situations, annulling countless marriages (Hashem, protect us).

When asked by a group of Rabbis at a meeting, how he could take upon himself these halachic rulings, he answered that his grandfather Harav Moshe Feinstein Z"l also ruled this way! However, after having inquired from Harav Feinstein's own children and students, we found that this was a total fabrication!

Now, the inquiry before us is:

What do we answer members of our community and our neighbors, who ask whether to continue under his leadership and teachings, or to leave him?

In addition, this inquiry notes the fact that this Rabbi was a member for many years of a Rabbinic organization, (RCA) and after doing their own investigation decided to oust him from their organization!

This Rabbi has summoned this same Rabbinic organization (RCA) to a (Rabbanut) Beit Din in Israel claiming that they terminated his membership in their organization under the violation of Halacha-Torah law.

For example, he claims that the Shulchan Aruch writes that one cannot remove a "Chazzan" from his position based on a rumor, unless there are actual kosher witnesses.

From his side he likewise claims:

a) there are only women witnesses and he claims women are not kosher witnesses

b) that these witnesses testified without him being present

c) the witnesses are biased

d) the rumors were spread by his enemies!

ANSWER:

This case has absolutely no resemblance to the case discussed in the Shulchan Aruch. The Shulchan Aruch talks about a Congregation that wants to remove a Chazzan from his employment in a synagogue, based on a rumor.

In our case this Rabbi was not employed by the organization (RCA), he was a member like other member Rabbis. We could not find one instance in Halacha that an organization cannot remove one of their members. In addition, every organization can set and change its own rules as they see fit! -- ( )

Every organization has a right to set rules that their members should not profane HASHEM'S great Name, certainly not to violate outright Halachic prohibitions E

Therefore, since this rumor has been ongoing and the Rabbis of the organization are ashamed and embarrassed of his actions, they not only have a right to oust him from their organization but they have a Torah obligation to do so!

With this action, the Rabbis of this organization are sanctifying HASHEM'S Name!

It is vital to know that, accordingly, his own Congregation has an equal obligation!

(a) In regard to his claim that only women testified:

As far as Halacha is concerned (see actual T'shuvah for elaboration), in a case where a Rabbi has a rumor that doesn't stop ... (this rumor has been ongoing for multiple years) we do not need any witnesses to remove him.

In our case we actually do have witnesses ... men... who have testified that they actually saw this Rabbi meet women one on one (flagrantly violating the prohibition of Yichud). There are, however, also women witnesses! The victims themselves who came to him for counseling to pour their broken hearts to him!

The Ramah in Choshen Mishpat (Siman 35, 14) rules that in a case where only women congregate or in a case (like ours) where only women could possibly testify, (since he meets women one on one behind closed doors) they can and should certainly testify. (Terumas Hadeshen Siman 353 and Agudah Perek 10, Yochasin)

This is also the ruling of the Mahrik, Radvaz, and the Mahr"i of Minz. Even those "Poskim" that would normally not rely on women witnesses, they would certainly agree that in our case ... where there is ample evidence that this Rabbi violated Torah precepts, then even children or women can certainly be kosher as witnesses, as the Chasam Sofer pointed out in his sefer (Orach Chaim T'shuvah 11)

(b) His claim that the witnesses testified without him being there:

There are many Responsa in regard to having witnesses testify, without the defendant being present. The Ramah has already ruled (Choshen Mishpat) that testimony taken without the defendant present is halachicly correct, especially in a case where the defendant has a history of intimidating witnesses (This Rabbi called and threatened many women who testified at the RCA hearing).

In addition, since we are dealing with a person who intimidates, curses and harasses anyone that dare oppose him including respected Rabbis...one may testify without the defendant being present.

The Ramah adds that in such a case (as ours) where we know that the defendant will certainly intimidate the witnesses, the Gaonim (Sages who lived during the years 900 C.E.) long ago established a Halachic rule that one may testify without the defendant being present!

c) He claims the Witnesses are biased: This claim is not true since:

1. some of the witnesses were actually men who had no previous associations with him

2. some of the women witnesses who testified, testified not what he actually did with them, but they testified what he did with other women who confided in them (and additionally brought them evidence of this). And even if his claim was actually true, the absurd claim of his ... that these women were biased, it would be irrelevant as far as Halacha is concerned.

According to Halacha, these women would still be believed.

(Please see sources).

Rumors that have not stopped (Kalay D'lo Pasak V'Sanu shomaneha):

In a case such as ours where rumors about this individual have been ongoing for years, the Ramah has already ruled () that in a case such as this, even if one individual of his congregation protests his behavior, this would be sufficient reason to remove this Rabbi from his position ... based on a rumor only! See also the Chasam Sofer (ibid)

Even in the case where the Rabbi claims that he is like a Chazzan, where the Shulchan Aruch says that based on one rumor one cannot be removed from his position, in this case even the Shulchan Aruch would agree that he should be removed since there are many people in his Congregation that have protested his despicable behavior (witness how many people left his shul).

The Aruch Hashulchan (Yoreh Dayah 119) writes a rule for all to know, that the Halacha requires his removal even if the rumor never reached a Beis Din

The Bais Yosef in the name of the R"ash and Rabbeinu Yeruchum rule this way even if the rumor stopped !!

One may surmise from the Rambam's ruling (source) that even in a case where we do not have clear kosher witnesses, but where we have some basis of fact, and a rumor that doesn't stop that he has violated immoral prohibitions, one has an obligation to humiliate him in public! All of this without any witnesses testifying!

The Rambam therefore states regarding a person like this: (Sanhedrin chapter 24):

"The Congregation should taunt the one that is transgressing the Torah prohibition of arayos--immoral relations and, in addition, whoever hears about his evil behavior must embarrass him even in front of his own children" (See Rambam source above).

d) Claim ... that his "enemies" have spread the rumors:

All people who have claims against them, always argue that the witnesses are enemies and hate them ... we actually see this on a daily basis with people who go to court!

With this reasoning there would never ever be any court cases whatsoever!

Having said this, the definition of "enemies" is clearly defined by the Talmud (Yevamos 25a) and several other commentaries (e.g. HaHaishiv Moshe 60, Rambam Sanhedrin chapter 23, Otzer HaPairushim 11:33, etc...) and these sources talk about real enemies not people who had some disagreements between each other.

We can therefore reason that his claim that "enemies" spreading rumors about him are not only false, but absurd!

Ruling:

All Rabbis Have a Clear Obligation to Publicly Ostracize Him:

Rashi in Tractate Megillah 25b states that if there are rumors that one is an Adulterer, one may embarrass him!

Rabbis that are quiet and do not chastise this individual cause HASHEM'S Name to be profaned.

It is therefore an obligation on our town's Rabbinic leaders to do whatever is in their power to ostracize him and separate him from his congregation. This Halacha is brought down by the Rif and this is the Halacha (Yoreh Dayah 334:42)!

No prohibition on speaking Lashan Harah (evil gossip):

The Chofetz Chayim (klal 7:65) rules emphatically that if an individual is a known rasha, for just an example, he is known to have had immoral relations (and is involved in Yichud repeatedly, etc.), one is allowed to listen and speak about this individual!

Prohibited from being a Dayan (Rabbinical Judge):

The Bais Yosef (Choshen Mishpat 34 in the name of the R"osh) rules that one who has been accused of illicit relationships including one who is m'yachaid (meets women alone on a one on one basis) ... is prohibited from ever being witness, and anyone who cannot be a witness can never be a Judge! (Ramah 25, Niddah 49b, Tur Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat Siman 7:69)...

Therefore it stands to reason that one who cannot be a witness or a Judge ... must immediately be stopped from officiating at weddings and divorces! See Responsa Rabbi Moses Feinstein Z"l (Yoreh Dayah Siman 1)!

Final Halachic Ruling Summary:

Numerous Rabbis sat together and heard audio tapes, where this "Rabbi" attempts to seduce married (and unmarried) women (Hashem, please protect us). On one particular tape one can clearly hear a married woman begging the "Rabbi" to leave her alone.

Accordingly, the RCA had every right to oust this Rabbi from their organization, and his own Congregation has the same obligation!

This Rabbi can no longer officiate at divorces, weddings, batei dinim, etc...

No one is obligated to give him any respect such as standing up for him, etc.

He can no longer be a Rav or Rabbi or Dayan amongst the Jewish People!

One should never allow their wives or daughters to go to his classes or to go to him at all including counseling... and all his rulings are null and void!

This ruling obligates all of us according to Halacha as per the ruling of his own grandfather Alah V'shalom, Z"l in his Sefer Igros Moshe ... (ibid).

By doing so we will fulfill the verse in our Holy Torah...

"Destroy Evil Amongst Us."

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Translation of a joint Rabbinic Kol Korah

"Denial & Clarification" letter issued by 7 Leading Monsey Rabbonim

against R' Mordecai Tendler

of New Hempstead, New York

Denial (of his claims) and Clarification!

We have gathered together to inform the public that since it has been publicly announced, written and printed that we investigated R' Mordecai Tendler and that we were convinced of the truth of his statements. We are hereby forced to publicize that this is an outright Lie!

In addition, we want to publicize our opinion that after thoroughly investigating the matter in his presence and after a thorough examination of the issues, it is our opinion that one must not seek any advice in any area of zia mely, and certainly not in any Halachic matters pertaining to Divorce, Marriage or Conversions!

On this matter we are affixing our signatures on this the 20th day of the month of Iyar* in the year 5765. Here, in Monsey, New York

(In order of Hebrew Signatures)

• Rabbi Moshe Green - Rosh Yeshivah, Yeshivah D'Monsey

• Rabbi Yisroel Hager - Son of the Grand Rabbi of Vishnitz

• Rabbi Chaim Halberstam - Rav, K'hal Yoel Moshe, Satmar, Monsey

• Rabbi Chaim Shraga Feival Shnaybalgl - Rav, K'hal Avreichim, Monsey

• Rabbi Chaim Leibish Halevi Rottenberg - Rav, K'hal Netzach Yisroel, Monsey

• Rabbi Sharaga Feivel Halevi Zimmerman - Rav, K'hal Bney Ashkenaz, Monsey

• Rabbi Mordechai Ohrbach - Rav, K'hal Forshay, Monsey

You may comment and or share your confidential information with us via email: rabbisintegrity@optonline.net

Professional Sexual Misconduct - What is it?

With the news of the civil suit against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler in the news, I thought it was important for everyone to learn as much as possible about Professional Sexual Misconduct.

It is important to note that often those who were abused by authority figures have similar issues as those who are survivors of mind control and or leaving a cult.

Below you will find links to several articles that you might find helpful. If you know of others please post links to them in the comment section.

If you are a survivor of Professional Sexual Misconduct, or feel you have been sexually manipulated by someone you see as an authority figure, please contact The Awareness Center, Inc.

1. Sexual Boundaries and Physicians: Overview and Educaitonal Approach to The Problem
2. Sexual Misconduct by School Employees
3. Cost of Abuse
4. Getting Better
   
5. It Hurts (Leaving a Cult)
   
6. Post-Cult Trauma
   

Mind Control, Counter-Missionaries, Exit Counselors: Those Who Help Cult Survivors

One of the biggest issues faced by survivors of any form of abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse) is finding the right resource to help them on their healing journey. When a survivor is looking for a resource in the Jewish community, I'm learning it becomes even more difficult.

I have a friend who was involved in a Christian group. Eventually she sought out help from various counter-missionary workers.

My friend ran into all sorts of trouble as time went along, including being mislead into believing those helping her had some sort of counseling degrees.

I've been told that one does not need to have a counseling degree of any sort to counsel individuals out of cults or away from Christian groups. All one needs is the desire to help.

In some states one needs to be a licensed mental health professional to do anything that remotely resembles counseling, or they need to be an ordained minister, rabbi, priest, etc. As we know being ordained does not make one a safe person to be trusted.

I think it's time that we demand that individuals who counsel those in cults, their family member, and friends -- at least have masters degree in some form of counseling, and also be licensed mental health professional.

I also believe it's time that we demand that all Jewish organization be certified. We need to have better quality assurance then what we have now.

It's a sad and scary fact that we are more concerned about kashering food, then we are of protecting some of the most vulnerable from potential abuse. Isn't time we start preventing anyone else from being victimized by those who have no professional training.

Empowering Thoughts For Today

The more knowledge circulates, the more it increases.

It is not selfish to love yourself.

A full cup needs a steady hand.

Holding on to fears gives them power.

No is more easily changed to yes, than yes to no.

Progress begins with dreams.

Visualize your goals in order to achieve them.

Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.

A person's true character comes out in an argument.

Forget about the Jonesses.

Knowledge can take you further than anything else.

A strong foundation can handle many earthquakes.

Cure grief with action.

Let all memories strengthen you.

Forward on Rabbi Mordecai Tendler (Law Suit)

Orthodox Rabbi Sued by Former Congregant
By Rukhl Schaechter
Forward - December 30, 2005


A former congregant has filed a lawsuit against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, the religious leader of an Orthodox congregation in Monsey, N.Y., accusing him of giving her "sex therapy" when she went to him for counseling.

In the lawsuit, which was filed December 20 in Manhattan and reported December 25 in the New York Post, (name removed), 43, claims that Tendler, a father of eight, promised her that he would help her find a husband with whom to raise a family if she slept with him. She is also alleging that Tendler threatened to "have her placed in a straitjacket" if she told anyone about the sessions. The sexual liaisons were allegedly conducted in his rabbinical study in the years 2001 to 2005.

"He had a tremendous amount of power over her," said (name removed)'s lawyer, Lenore Kramer.

Tendler, the scion of a prominent rabbinical family, was expelled from the Rabbinical Council of America in March, after a months-long investigation of allegations that he sexually harassed women who came to him for spiritual guidance. When asked by the Forward whether (name removed) was one of the women interviewed during the RCA investigation, Rabbi Dale Polakoff, president of the organization, declined to comment, citing the advice of counsel.

Last week the Brooklyn-based Jewish Press published an open letter from Rabbi Moshe Faskowitz announcing his resignation from the RCA in connection to the Tendler controversy. Faskowitz quit the RCA after a Jerusalem regional rabbinical court characterized the organization as being in violation of its rulings.

Tendler had filed a complaint with the Jerusalem court in July, claiming that the RCA had violated rabbinic law by expelling him without bringing the charges to an independent rabbinical court. The RCA has responded that according to rabbinic law, a summons is not to be sent from one city to another if both litigants live in one city, and that therefore the Jerusalem court has no jurisdiction in the matter.

Polakoff said that his office had received no notice of an official resignation from Faskowitz or anybody else.

RCA sources say that Faskowitz is actually a cousin of Mordecai Tendler's wife, Michelle. Faskowitz could not be reached for comment.

Case Against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler - Supreme Court of the State of New York County of New York

Supreme Court of the State of New York County of New York
Filed: December 20, 2005
Index No: 05117629
Plaintiff designates New York County as the place of trial
Summons
The basis of venue is plaintiff's residence
Plaintiff resides at:
(Address removed)
County of New York

Survivors Name Removed, Plaintiff,
-against-
Kehillat New Hempstead: The Rav Aron Jofen Community Synagogue, and
Mordecai Tendler, Defendant

To the above named Defendants:
You are hearby summoned to answer the compliant in this action and to serve a copy of our answer, or, if the complaint is not served with this summons, to serve a notice of appearance, on the Plaintiff's Attorney(s) within 20 days after the service of this summons, exclusive of the day of service for within 30 days after the service is complete in this summons is not personally delivered to you within the State of New York); and in case of failure to appear or answer, judgment will be taken against you by default for the relief demanded in the complaint.

Dated: New York, New York
December 20, 2005

Yours, etc., Kramer and Dunleavy, LLP
Attorneys for Plaintiff

Lenore Kramer, Esq.
A Member of the Firm
350 Braodway, Suite 1100
New York, New York 10013
(212) 226-6662


Defendants Addresses:
Kehillat New Hempstead: The Rav Aron Jofen
720 Union Road
New Hempstead, New York 10977

Mordecai Tendler
653 Union Road
Spring Valley, New York 10977
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Page 2

Supreme Court of the State of New York County of New York

Verified Complaint
Filed December 20, 2005
Index No: 05117629

Survivors Name Removed, Plaintiff,
-against-
Kehillat New Hempstead: The Rav Aron Jofen Community Synagogue, and
Mordecai Tendler, Defendants.

Plaintiff, by her attorneys, KRAMMER & DUNLEAVY, LLP., complaining of the defendants, respectfully alleges, upon information and belief, as follows:

1. That at all times hereinafter mentioned, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE, was and still is a domestic not-for-profit corporation duly organized and existing pursuant to the Religious Corporation Law of the State of New York.

2. That at all times hereinafter mentioned, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE held itself open to members of the public as a place of worship, guidance and sanctuary.

3. Defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was and still is the founder and leader of defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.
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Page 3

4. Upon information and belief, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was and still is an employee of defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.

5. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER had a reputation as a scholar, educator and community leader within the Orthodox community.

6. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER held himself out to the public and to the plaintiff as a counselor and advisor with an expertise in women's issues.

7. That the plaintiff (SURVIVORS NAME REMOVED) first became acquainted with defendant MORDECAI TENDLER and his work on behalf of women in 1994.

8. That beginning in 1994, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) consulted by telephone with the defendant MORDECAI TENDLER on various personal issues.

9. That beginning in 1995, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER began to actively recruit plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) to join his congregation at defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.

10. That in September, 1996, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) began attending services at defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.
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11. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER took on the role of counselor and advisor to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) and did counsel and advise her with respect to her personal, legal and financial problems.

12. At all relevant times, a relationship of confidence and trust existed between the plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) and the defendant MORDECAI TENDLER.

13. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER represented to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that she was his "favorite" and his "closest."

14. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER represented to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that he would "be there" for all of her needs.

15. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER represented to the plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that he would assist her in finding a prospective husband so that she would be able to marry and have children, as she wished.

16. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER represented himself as an advisor, a father figure and a god to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED).

17. Beginning in November, 2001, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER began a sexual relationship with plaintiff (NAMED REMOVED).
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18. That from November 2001 through May, 2005, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER had an ongoing sexual relationship with plaintiff (NAME REMOVED).

19. That prior to and throughout the duration of the aforsaid sexual relationship, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER advised plaintiff (NAME REMOVED)
that she was "close to the possiblity of finding a husband" and that she would never find a husband in her current state.

20. That prior to and throughout the duration of the aforesaid sexual relationship, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER advised plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) to permit him to have sexual intercourse with her so that her "life would open up and men would come" to her.

21. That prior to and throughout the duration of the afordsaid sexual relationship, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER advised plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that "Everything was closed" to her and that she should let him "open up her to the world."

22. At all relevant times, defendant "MORDECAI TENDLER advised plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that, if she had sexual intercourse with him, "doors would open," she would be "open up to meeting men" and she "would get married and have children."

23. That from November 2001 through May, 2005, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER had sexual relations with plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) at
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Page 6
various locations, including in his rabbinical study at defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.

24. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER told plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that he "was as close to God as anyone could get."

25. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER told plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that he "talks to God all the time."

26. At all relevant times, defendant "MORDECAI TENDLER told plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that he "was the Messiah."

27. That plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was induced to engage in this physical relationship with defendant MORDECAI TENDLER as part of a course of sexual therapy which he represented would lead to her achieving her goals of marriage and children.

28. At all relevant times, defendant (MORDECAI TENDLER warned plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that, if she told anyone about the sexual therapy, he "would have her placed in a straight jacket," "have her put in the penitentiary" and/or "have her thrown in jail."

29. At all relevant times, defendant "MORDECAI TENDLER warned plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that, if she told anyone about the sexual therapy, he "would have her banned from the shul (synagogue)" and "would turn the community against her."
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Page 7

30. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER advised plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) that engaging in sexual relations with him, was her "only hope" to open her up to become receptive to men.

31. At all relevant times, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) believed the words, advice and threats of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER.

32. That once plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) submitted to his course of sexual therapy, rather than assisting her to reach her goals of marriage and children, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER physically and emotionally abused plaintiff for his own sexual pleasure and gratification.


AS AND FOR A FIRST CAUSE OF ACTION FOR FRAUD

33. Plaintiff repeats and reiterates each and every allegation contained in paragraphs 1 though 32 inclusive, with the same force and effect as in specifically set forth herein at length.

34. That the aforesaid representations made by defendant MORDECAI TENDLER to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) were false and reckless.

35. That at the time he made the aforesaid representations, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER knew them to be false and reckless.

36. That defendant MORDECAI TENDLER made the aforesaid representations with the express intent to deceive plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) and induce her into a sexual relationship with him.
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37. That in knowingly making the aforesaid false and reckless representations to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED), defendant MORDECAI TENDLER took unfair advantage of his position as her counselor and advisor.

38. Plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) relied on the false and reckless misrepresentation of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER and engaged in sexual relations with him.

39. That had plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) known that the course of sexual therapy advised by defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was solely for his personal pleasure and gratification, she would not have engaged in sexual relations with him.

40. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was physically violated, had her reputation impugned, was ostracized from her synagogue and has lost her standing in the community.

41. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) has been injured and damaged in a sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all the lower Courts that would otherwise have jurisdiction over this action.

AS AND FOR THE SECOND CAUSE OF ACTION FOR BREACH OF FIDUCIARY DUTY

42. Plaintiff repeats and reiterates each and every allegation contained in paragraphs 1 through 41 inclusive, with the same force wand effect as if specifically set forth herein at length.
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Page 9

43. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER occupied a position as fiduciary to the plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) as her counselor, advisor and therapist and owed her a relationship of trust and confidence.

44. That as a result of the foregoing, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER breached his fiduciary duty to plaintiff (NAME REMOVED).

45. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was physically violated, had her reputation impugned, was ostracized from her synagogue and lost her standing in the community.

46. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was caused to and has suffered and sustained severe and serious personal injuries, severe and serious conscious pain and suffering, severe and serious mental distress and anguish and attendant economic losses.

47. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) has been injured and damaged in a sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all lower Courts that would other wise have jurisdiction over this action.

AS AND FOR THE THIRD CAUSE OF ACTION FOR INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS

48. Plaintiff repeats and reiterates each and every allegation contained in paragraph 1 through 47 inclusive, with the same force and effect as if specifically set forth herein at length.

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49. Defendant MORDECAI TENDLER encouraged his congregates at defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE, to harass, threaten and intimidate plaintiff (NAME REMOVED).

50. The congregates at defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE did harass, threaten and intimidate plaintiff (NAME REMOVED).

51. Defendant MORDECAI TENDLER engaged in a concerted scheme to embarrass, humiliate and diminish plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) in the orthodox community so as to injure her reputation and destroy her credibility.

52. Defendant MORDECAI TENDLER knew, or should have known, that his actions towards plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) in falsely inducing her into a sexual relationship, in physically violating and abusing her, in causing her to be harassed, threatened, intimidated and ostracized from the community and in intentionally injuring her reputation and standing in the community would result in serious emotional distress, pain and suffering to her.

53. In doing the actions hereinabove alleged, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER acted with willful, wanton, reckless, intentional and deliberate disregard for the likelihood that plaintiff would suffer severe emotional distress, pain and suffering as a direct and proximate result of his actions.

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54. The aforementioned wrongful conduct of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was extreme and outrageous and went beyond all bounds of civility and decency.

55. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was caused to suffer severe mental and emotional distress, pain and suffering.

56. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) has been injured and damaged in a sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all lower Courts that would otherwise have jurisdiction over this action.

AS AND FOR A FOURTH CAUSE OF ACTION FOR NEGLIGENT INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS

57. Plaintiff repeats and reiterate each and every allegation contained in paragraphs 1 through 56 inclusive, with the same force and effect as if specifically set forth herein at length.

58. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was aware that plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) trusted him, relied on him and placed her confidence in him.

58. At all relevant times, defendant MORDECAI TENDLER knew or should have known that his actions would cause her severe mental and emotional distress, pain and suffering.
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59. That as a result of defendant's actions, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was caused to suffer severe mental and emotional distress, pain and suffering.

60. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) has been injured and damaged in a sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all lower Courts that would otherwise have jurisdiction over this action.

AS AND FOR A FIFTH CAUSE OF ACTION FOR NEGLIGENT RETENTION

61. Plaintiff repeats and reiterates each and every allegation contained in paragraphs 1 through 60 inclusive, with the same force and effect as if specifically set forth herein at length.

62. At all relevant times, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE was aware of the aforesaid conduct and actions of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER.

63. At all relevant times, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE knew or should have known of propensity of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER for the aforesaid conduct.

64. At all relevant times, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE knew or should
________________
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have known that defendant MORDECAI TENDLER used his rabbinical study at the synagogue to conduct his sexual therapy sessions with congregation members.

65. At all relevant times, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE knew of facts that would lead a predent party to investigate the use by defendant MORDECAI TENDLER of his rabbinical study at the synagogue.

66. At all relevant times, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE had notice of prior allegations of inappropriate sexual conduct by defendant MORDECAI TENDLER.

67. That in spite of the aforesaid notice of prior allegations of inappropriate sexual conduct by defendant MORDECAI TENDLER, defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE took no steps to warn or protect plaintiff and other female congregants, to adequately supervise defendant, to remove defendant from his position of authority or to make an appropriate investigation.

68. That defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE, was grossly negligent as follows: in failing to properly and adequately supervise the activities of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER; in failing to use reasonable care to correct the conduct of defendant MORDECAI TENDLER; in failing to remove defendant MORDECAI TENDLER was an employee; in failing to conduct an adequate and appropriate investigation; in
________________
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failing to warn congregants of in failing to take the steps necessary to have prevented the fraud and assault on plaintiff; and, in further failing to exercise that degree of due care as a reasonable party under the same or similar circumstances.

69. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was physically violated, had her reputation impugned, was ostracized from her synagogue and lost her standing in the community.

70. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) was caused to and has suffered and sustained severe and serious personal injuries, severe and serious conscious pain and suffering, severe and serious mental distress and anguish and attendant economic losses.

71. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) is entitled to recover punitive damages from and against defendant KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE.

72. That as a result of the foregoing, plaintiff (NAME REMOVED) has been injured and damaged in a sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all lower Courts that would otherwise have jurisdiction over this action.

WHEREFORE, plaintiff demands judgment against defendants KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD: THE RAV ARON JOFEN COMMUNITY SYNAGOGUE and MORDECAI TENDLER for both compensatory and punitive damages in the sum which exceeds the jurisdictional limitations of all lower Courts that would.
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otherwise have jurisdiction over this action and is within the jurisdiction of this Court

Dated: New York, New York
December 20, 2005


Yours, etc.,
KRAMER & DUNLEAVY, L.L.P.
By Lenore Kramer
A Member of the Firm
Attorneys for Plaintiff
Office and Post Office Address
350 Broadway - Suite 1100
New York, New York 10013
(212) 226-6662
________________
Page 16
VERIFICATION

STATE OF NEW YORK )
:ss
COUNTY OF NEW YORK)

I, the undersigned, an attorney admitted to practice in the Courts of New York State, state that I am a member of the firm of KRAMER & DUNLEAVY, L.L.P. attorneys for the plaintiff in the within action; I have read the foregoing verified complain and know the contents thereof; the same is true to my own knowledge, except as to the matters therein stated to be alleged on information and belief, and as to those matters I believe it to be true. The reason this verification is made by me and not by plaintiff, is because the plaintiff is not now within the County where deponent maintains her offices.

The grounds of my belief as to all matters not stated upon my own knowledge are as follows:

Conversations with plaintiff and a review of the file maintained at my office on this matter.

I affirm that the foregoing statements are true, under the penalties of perjury.

Dated: New York, New York
December 20, 2005

Lenore Kramer

Jewish Week on The Tendler Civil Suit

Please write to Gary Rosenblatt (Editor of the Jewish Week) and complain about him using the survivors real name in the article. All he needs to do is review the guidelines prepared by the US Department of Justice on News Media ethics, when dealing with cases of sexual violence/misconduct.

If you go to this site and review the articles posted, you will notice it is uncommon for sexual violence survivor's names to be printed in newspapers. It is never ok to publish the name(s) of those who were sexually violated without their express permission. I don't care who else says it's ok. It's just not ethical.

Gary, you should have known better!

Woman Charges Tendler In Sex Harassment Case
Staff Report
The Jewish Week (NY)
December 28, 2005

A woman claiming she was seduced by Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, who according to court papers told her he was the messiah and could help her find a husband by submitting to his “sex therapy,” has filed suit against the controversial Rockland County spiritual leader.

(Survivors Name Removed), 43, is the first woman to take legal action against the rabbi since he was expelled as a member of the Rabbinical Council of America, the largest Orthodox rabbinic association, in March for “conduct inappropriate to an Orthodox rabbi.”

The rabbi had been accused of various degrees of sexual harassment by several women, though it is believed that (Survivors Name Removed) was not one of the complainants in the RCA case.

According to a suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court last week, (Survivor's Name Removed) said the rabbi, acting as a religious authority and counselor she trusted, had encounters with her in his rabbinic study from 2001 to 2005, and that his actions were “beyond all bounds of civility and decency.”

Rabbi Tendler’s attorney, Martin Lewis Frankel, said the charges were “completely false,” according to a report in the New York Post.

(Survivors Name Removed) became a member of Rabbi Tendler’s congregation, Kehillat New Hempstead, about two years after she first went to him for advice in 1994.

Critics of the rabbi have charged that he sometimes approached women he counseled with personal problems and told them they would be cut off from him, his congregation and community if they did not submit to him. He has also been accused of making advances to women with marital problems who sought his counsel.

According to the suit, which was also brought against Rabbi Tendler’s synagogue, (Survivors Name Removed) “was physically violated, had her reputation impugned, was ostracized” from the synagogue and “has lost her standing in the community.” The suit alleges the rabbi told (Survivors Name Removed) he would “have her placed in a straight jacket” and/or “have her thrown in jail” if she told anyone about “the sexual therapy.”

The father of eight, Rabbi Tendler is the son and grandson of prominent Orthodox rabbinic leaders, and had been praised by some Jewish women’s groups for his work in helping women receive religious divorces.

Understanding the alleged Modus Operandi of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler

The more I hear about the allegations against and alleged Modus Operandi of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, the more I believe it is imperative for everyone to read the following article.

"Grooming" or Setting Up Your Victim
by Ken Singer, LCSW

Most offenders do not like to think or admit that they planned their offenses. The idea that you set up a situation to sexually assault a child or vulnerable adult may make you feel worse than you may already feel about yourself. However, it is vital that you recognize that the assault started in your mind before it became a reality.

The bad news about accepting that you planned or set up the assault before you carried it out may be that you have to drop the belief that "it just happened". The good news is that if you spend time thinking about assaulting before you actually do so, you have more time to stop yourself.

(A word or two here about the use of "assault", "abuse" and other terms that you may feel uncomfortable about. You may feel that what you did to your victim(s) was not "rape", "abuse", "assault" or some of the other words used in these articles. While you may believe that you were not forceful, physically hurt or threatened your victim, it is important that you not allow yourself to justify, minimize, rationalize or make excuses for what you did to someone else.

You really do not know what the impact of your behavior is on another person, especially in the long run. Offenders have described their behaviors as "loving", "gentle", "for his/her benefit", and other terms which may appear to be true on the surface, but will have detrimental consequences for the victim.

So, even if you don't believe that you "abused", "assaulted", "offended" or other terms, hold off on your need to deny the label for now.)

Setting Up or "Grooming" These terms are often used interchangeably, but they are similar. What they mean is that you had a conscious or underlying thought to become sexual with another person. If you were doing this with someone your own age, it might be called flirting. When you develop a friendship with a child, or engage him/her in physical contact that seems innocent at first, you are setting up that child for later sexual contact, abuse or assault.

Some of the ways that offenders set up their victims include:

• Paying attention to a child who appears emotionally needy

• Talking about sexual issues, showing adult magazines or films, letting the child know s/he can come to you for sexual information or concerns

• "Accidentally" or purposefully exposing yourself (coming out of the bath, wearing shorts that allow a view of the genitals, openly praising nudity as "normal", etc.)

• Giving gifts, money, taking the child places, providing alcohol or drugs

• Telling the child that you need to examine his/her body for some reason

• Physical contact such as wrestling, tickling, pats on the butt, etc.

• Intrusive questions about the child's sexual development, fantasies, masturbation habits, or giving the child more information about sex than is appropriate for the child's age or developmental level

• Bringing yourself down to the child's level of play (becoming the child's "buddy")

• Sharing inappropriate information about yourself or relationship problems, such as marital difficulties

• Not respecting the child's boundaries or privacy. This may be "rules" that bedroom or bathroom doors must be open, reading child's mail or diaries, going through their possessions, etc. It may also be verbal, such as intrusive questions about the child's activities or friends beyond what is appropriate for a parent to do. It may also be done by staring at the child or looking at his/her body in a way that makes him/her uncomfortable

There are other ways offenders "groom" a potential victim. While on the surface, these activities may seem innocent enough, they are often the prelude to a sexual contact with the child.

Since you have either crossed over the line from being a parent or friend of the child to assaulting him/her, (or are struggling to keep this from happening), it is important for you to become honest with yourself and with your therapist. Your honestly can reduce the likelihood of re-offending (or offending in the first place.) But remember, even when being honest, prevention of sexual offending requires a lot of soul-searching and hard work.

Happy Hannukkah

Talking to God

This email is from Leslie

Growing up in my family meant there were many things I had to figure out on my own. I was an only child and my parents were busy with their careers. When they weren't working, they were home screaming at each other. I guess you can say it wasn't very peaceful in my home.

When I was in grade school most of my friends either went to church or Temple. My parents just weren't into doing religion. So I never learned anything about God, except what I heard on TV or over heard other people saying.

I was always curious about the concept of a higher power, but it all confused me. Some of my relatives were religious, but most of them never step foot in a synagogue.

In my mind, if there was a God, I thought he looked something like Santa Claus. But I also envisioned God as having an explosive temper like my father, which also meant that I imagined that God must also be a child molester.

I've tried very hard to view God from the eyes of those who were not abused, but I always seem to fall short. I've also always been confused about how to talk to God. I know there are set prayers one can say, but to me that's just using someone else's words.

What do you say? How do you know if God is listening? I often think talking to God is just the same thing as talking to myself. So I guess I still question if there really is a God, let alone a loving God.

Does anyone else struggle with the same things as me?

Call To Action: Gafni Alert - Omega Institute (Being Fearless)

From: The Awareness Center's Daily Newsletter

Rabbi Marc Gafni is scheduled to present at the Omega Institute conference in New York City on March 31 - April 2, 2006.
Please contact Stephan Rechtschaffen and Skip Backus at the Omega Institute and let them know how you feel about Marc Gafni presenting.

Please provide them with background information and the history of Rabbi Mordecai Gafni (AKA: Marc Gafni, Mark Gafni, Marc Winiarz, Mordechai Winiarz, Mordechai Winyarz).

Born as Marc Winiarz, went to New York from the Midwest for high school and college, became a youth leader and rabbi, was accused of sexual assaulting two teenage girls, and attempted sexual assault of a young adult woman. He was also accused of cult like practices. In 1991 he left the Unitied States to start a new life in Israel, changing his name to Mordechai Gafni.

Marc Gafni: "I was a stupid kid and we were in love," the rabbi said. "She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her"

Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, the spiritual leader of the Israeli community of Efrat, was going to revoke the rabbinic ordination he gave Rabbi Gafni many years ago when they had a close rabbi-student relationship. When Gafni heard of Rabbi Riskin's wishes, he wrote a letter "returning" his semicha to spare his former teacher any further embarrassment.

Omega Institute Contact Information:
Stephan Rechtschaffen and Skip Backus
Toll Free: 800-944-1001
Direct Number: 845-266-4444
Fax: 845-266-3769
registration@eomega.org

You may also want to contact the other presenters at this particular conference and let your voice be heard. Scroll down on this page and click on each link for contact information.

Faculty Profile
Rabbi Marc Gafni is the founder and head of Bayit Chadash, an international spiritual retreat center committed to Jewish renaissance in Israel. Gafni is the author of Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment, which was the subject of a nationally aired PBS special. Translated into many languages, it received the NAPRA Nautilus Award as Best Spirituality Book of 2001. His second book, The Mystery of Love, draws from the ancient texts of the Kabbalist tradition to explore the relationships between sex, eros, love, and holiness.

Along with Erica Fox, Rabbi Gafni is developing the Harvard Negotiation Insight Initiative at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. This project engages cutting-edge conversation between the fields of conflict management and wisdom traditions.

Currently completing a doctorate program through Oxford University, Rabbi Gafni is also a contributing editor to Tikkun magazine, and Chayim Acherim, Israel's leading spiritual magazine.


Upcoming Conferences:
Being Fearless - New York, NY
March 31, 2006 - April 2, 2006

Why did the NY Post print the survivor's name?

I wrote a letter to David Hafez (david.hafetz@nypost.com), author of the December 25th article entitled "Rabbi in Sex-God Scandal", in which he writes about a lawsuit brought against Mordechai Tendler by a woman who he sexually abused and raped:

David,

Re the article "Rabbi in Sex-God Scandal", just wondering why it was necessary to print the woman's name? As you stated in the article, it has been very difficult for her to accuse the rabbi, why would you add to that? Wouldn't it have been sufficient to just print her initials, or a pseudonem?

Plus, aren't there laws that prohibit you from publishing the name of a rape victim, which this woman clearly was?

Old / New Survivor Blog

Just want to let everyone know that after a short hiatus, Chava5760 is posting again at http://rabbinicsexualmisconductsurvivor.blogspot.com/ Chava5760 is a survivor of rabbinic sexual misconduct. I applaud her bravery in sharing her story.

United Press International on Tendler

'Messiah' gave sex therapy sessions
United Press International - December 25, 2005

SPRING VALLEY, N.Y., Dec. 25 (UPI) -- A New York rabbi allegedly seduced a member of his congregation by claiming to be the messiah and offering her sex therapy.
The woman filed suit against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler of Rockland County last week, accusing him of deceiving and violating her, the New York Post reported.

(Survivors Name Removed) , 43, said Tendler was acting as a counselor and spiritual authority but went "beyond all bounds of civility and decency." Tendler's attorney called the charges "utterly false."

Attorney Martin Stewart Frankel said Tendler's congregation at Kehillat New Hempstead "knew or should have known" what was going on in the sexual therapy sessions he offered.

(Survivors Name Removed) said Tendler threatened to have her "placed in a straitjacket" and banned from the congregation if she told anyone about their sessions.

For more information on the Mordecai Tendler case go to:
http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/tendler_mordecai.html

Rabbi Mordecai Tendler in Sex-God Scandal

RABBI IN SEX-GOD SCANDAL
By DAVID HAFETZ
New York Post - December 25, 2005
http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/59445.htm


December 25, 2005 -- A prominent rabbi is being accused of unorthodox and disturbing behavior — seducing a troubled woman in his congregation by telling her he was "the Messiah" and giving her "sex therapy" to help her find a husband.

According to a lawsuit filed last week in Manhattan, Rabbi Mordecai Tendler of Rockland County promised the woman, who was seeking advice, that "doors would open" and "men will come" if she had sex with him.

The rabbi, a father of eight, allegedly told the woman that he was her "only hope." The woman says the rabbi held liaisons in his rabbinical study from 2001 to 2005 and threatened her to remain silent about "the sexual therapy."

(Survivors Name Removed), 43, who lives in Manhattan, accuses Tendler of deceiving and violating her and going "beyond all bounds of civility and decency" while he acted as a trusted counselor and spiritual authority.

"He had a tremendous amount of power over her," said (Survivors Name Removed)'s lawyer, Lenore Kramer.

(Survivors Name Removed) says she first met Tendler — the son of a Yeshiva University professor and the grandson of a highly respected religious arbiter, the late Rabbi Moshe Feinstein — through his "work on behalf of women" in 1994.

In his career, Tendler has advocated for the rights of Orthodox women and assisted Jewish wives obtain religious divorces.

But the rabbi became embroiled in a sex scandal that involved other female accusers and in March was expelled from the Rabbinical Council of America.

The council, which represents Orthodox Jewish leaders, would not discuss the Tendler case
Tendler, who lives in Spring Valley, called the charges "ludicrous."

His lawyer, Martin Stewart Frankel, called (Survivors Name Removed)'s charges "flatly, completely and utterly false."

"A tremendous grave injustice is being done against a very wonderful person," Frankel said.
(Survivors Name Removed) claims Tendler conducted "his sexual therapy sessions" with other women and charges that his congregation, Kehillat New Hempstead, also named in the suit, "knew or should have known" what was happening.

(Survivors Name Removed) says Tendler actively recruited her to join Kehillat. She eventually took up a second residence in Spring Valley.

According to her suit, Tendler warned that he would "have her placed in a straitjacket" and "banned from the shul" if she told anyone about the sex.

Kramer said it was difficult for her client to accuse the rabbi. "It's an embarrassment to the family, a terrible thing."

For more information on Rabbi Mordecai Tendler go to:
http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/tendler_mordecai.html

Law Suit Filed Against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, Kehillat New Hempsted and Rav Aron Jofen Community Synagogu

To the News Media:
Ethics of News Media in Covering Cases of Sexual Violence

Alleged Survivor's Name Removed
v.
KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD
SUPREME COURT
NEW YORK COUNTY

Index Number: 117629/2005

According to the records of the NEW YORK County Clerk's Office, the Index Number for this case was assigned on December 20, 2005.

The parties of record for this case are listed as follows:
Plaintiff(s): Alleged Survivors Name Removed
Defendant(s): KEHILLAT NEW HEMPSTEAD, RAV ARON JOFEN COMM SYNAGOGUE,
TENDLER MORDECAI

Surviving Hanukkah: Survivors of Childhood Abuse - Emotional, Physical and Sexual Abuse © (2005) The Awareness Center, Inc.

Hanukkah for many is a time of year filled with wonderful memories of rushing around to purchase gifts for loved ones, and of families and friends getting together.

Unfortunately, for survivors of childhood abuse (emotional, physical and sexual abuse), this can be a time for painful memories to reemerge. There may be decissions that need to be made if the survivor will feel safe enough to spend the holiday with family, or if alternative plans will be need to be made. Some survivors maybe mourning the loss of the loving family they never had. It can be a difficult time for those who no longer have contact with family members due to the degree of dysfunction that was in the family.

This is a time of year that a survivor may find it safer to retreat, then to participate in holiday functions. It is important for each individual survivors to find what works best for them to stay emotionally healthy. It is vitally important each person to be kind to themselves with what ever decisions you make regarding this time of year. We all need to respect their decisions, especially if they decide not to participate. It's important that if a survivor decides to be with their family, they have safe people to "debrief with" afterwards, or to call if things get tough while with family members.

If you know someone who is a survivor of childhood abuse, it might be a good idea to check up on them a few times over the holidays. Make sure survivors have invitations to meals. If they say no, it is important to let them know they can always change their mind and come at the last minute.

The holidays often mean that families get together, routines are changed, there is also the added stress of cleaning and preparing meals. These issues alone can be extremely stress producing.

Unfortunately the reality is that there are parents who are already inclined to use their children as an outlet for emotions and urges. They are even more likely to do so when under the pressure of increased anxiety.

If you know of parents who fit this category you may want to offer emotional support to them. Provide them with resources of parental stress lines in your community. Offer to their children on an outing, so the parent(s) who have difficulties managing their anger and stress can have some down time.

As you can guess many survivors of childhood abuse report that they were abuse became more intense around and over holidays.

If you are a survivor -- This is written as a reminder to all survivors: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

It is not uncommon for symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) to emerge after times of relative remission and/or intensify in those already struggling. You may experience an increase in disturbing thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks. Thoughts of self-harm, even suicide, may be an issue. The important thing to remember is these feelings are about the past, that the abuse is over, and that it is of utmost importance for you to be kind to and gentle with yourself.

Over the years we have spoken to many adult survivors who find it very painful to even consider be around family members or in some cases being around friends. This is OK. Someday you may feel different, but if the pain is too intense, it is important that you do things that can be healing, that you set boundaries to do what feels safe for you.

One survivor shared that she felt uncomfortable not doing anything for Hanukkah, so she'd rent movies that had an empowering theme to them. Another survivor would invite other Jewish Survivors over to his home and they would create a ritual that seemed healing and empowering.

It's important to remember that whatever works for you is OK -- know that you are not alone, not wrong, not bad for having second and third and forth thoughts about how to celebrate and if to celebrate the holidays. Look into yourself and see what you need, then do what you can to do it, and be kind to yourself for needing to make these adjustments.

Todah Rabah for Surviving!

Arutz Sheva and Dr. Aryeh Hirsch Promoting Sex Offender - Rabbi Matis Weinberg

Why in the world would anyone promote a book or anything written by sex offender - Rabbi Matis Weinberg. Hasn't history taught us anything?

Weinberg should be in prison. If he was allowed out, he should be wearing global monitoring device the rest of his life.

Matis Weinberg is a danger to our communities. Forty years of committing sexual offenses against our children. When will it ever end?

I was flipping through Arutz Sheva's web page (Israel National News), and found Weinberg's name mentioned in an article written by Dr. Aryeh Hirsch called "The Rule of Three." Here's the sentence that made me shiver, "I recommend reading Rabbi Matis Weinberg's Frameworks"

Please contact Dr. Aryeh Hirsch and Israel National News and remind them:

Rabbi Weinberg noted that while he was physically demonstrative to his students, often hugging them, it was never in a sexual way. "I don't get a hard-on" from such encounters," asserted the rabbi, who is married and has a large family.

Yeshiva University terminated Yeshivat Derech Etz Chaim's affiliation with the S. Daniel Abraham Joint Israel Program after discovering "compelling evidence" that a rabbi integrally associated with the yeshiva has a history of allegedly sexually abusing and engaging in cult-like behavior with his students.

Dr. Aryeh Hirsch is a physician at Magen David Adom/Terem in Jerusalem. He is proud to be a settler, residing in Beit El.

How many "alleged" sex offenders does Rabbi Moshe Faskowitz support?

Rabbi Moshe Faskowitz is a strong supporter of "alleged" sex offender Mordecai Tendler. Faskowitz was also a strong supporter of "alleged" sex offender Ozzie Orbach. How many other "alleged" sex offenders is Rabbi Faskowitz friendly with?

Moshe Faskowitz resigned from the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) recently in protest of the RCA revoking the membership of "alleged" sex offender Mordecai Tendler. B'H' that the RCA did the right thing in this case. B'H' that people like Faskowitz will no longer have influence in this rabbinical organization. Perhaps now the RCA can do more to protect innocent individuals from being victimized, and start to really offer support to those who are survivors.

White Supremacists NOT Helping Survivors in their own communities

Did you know that statistically those who are members of the "National Alliance" or any other neo-nazi group have the same statistics of sexually abusing their children, and being sex offenders as any other group of people?

One out of every three to five female, and one out of every five to seven male - white supremacist was sexually abused by the time they reached their 18th birthday? Who was their offenders? Usually their parents.

How many of these survivors have the help they need?

Don't forget to read this article:
Anti-Semitism, Sexual Abuse, and The Jewish Community

Empowering Thoughts For Today

Take two minutes to breathe deeply, and exhale slowly.

Don't get upset because everyone else is.

We may give advice but we cannot inspire conduct.

Hate is created by fears.

Deceide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do.

Great empires have been brought down by a moment's stupidity.

Fences mean nothing to those who can fly.

Prevention is the first step of cure.

Grieve only when you are in pain; don't anticipate it.

Let there be many windows to your soul.

Joy is the ability to be happy in small ways.

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Push for Tougher Penalties for Child Internet Pornography

Congress of the United States
Washington, DC 20515

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: December 20, 2005

CONTACTS: April Boyd (Kerry), 202-224-4159

Sheridan Watson (Isakson), 202-224-7777

Downloaded songs carry a penalty three times greater than exploited children

WASHINGTON - Senators John Kerry (D-Mass.) and Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.) today introduced legislation to dramatically increase penalties for anyone who downloads child pornography off the Internet. The current penalty for downloading songs off the Internet is three times the
penalty for downloading pornographic materials of children and infants. Their bill also will fix the law to allow adults to sue those who download images of them taken when they were children.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, child pornography has become a multi-billion dollar internet business. Every year, the Center's Cybertipline receives tens of thousands of calls reporting child exploitation and pornography on the internet.

"It's really a sad statement that we have tougher penalties for
downloading music than for downloading sick images of infants and children. These are the youngest, most vulnerable victims in our society, and it's our moral responsibility to protect them," said
Senator Kerry.

The bipartisan bill, "Masha's Law," which is named after a 5-year-old Russian orphan who was sexually abused by the American man who adopted her, was authored by Kerry and is co-sponsored by Isakson.

"What happened to Masha was a terrible tragedy that should never be repeated. Unfortunately, reminders of her horrific ordeal remain posted on the Internet for all to see every day," Senator Isakson said. "We must impose more severe penalties against those who download these disgusting images of our nation's innocent children."

Kerry was inspired to write this legislation after learning of Masha - a 5-year old girl adopted from a Russian orphanage in 1998 by Matthew Mancuso, who began sexually abusing Masha the first night she spent with him. Mancuso began disseminating Masha's pictures over the Internet almost immediately, which is what led law enforcement to his home, where they were shocked to find that the victim was Mancuso's adopted daughter. Subsequently, Masha was removed from the home and Mancuso was arrested, tried and convicted. He was found guilty of 11 counts of child sexual abuse stemming from his abuse of Masha, but her images - hundreds of them - are on the Internet and being downloaded around the world. And while the man who sexually abused Masha and posted the pictures on the web is in jail, the damage will continue until people stop downloading pictures of her off the Internet.

Under current law, a victim of child exploitation is entitled to civil statutory damages in U.S. District Court in the amount of $50,000. If someone downloads a song off the Internet, federal copyright law provides for statutory damages to be awarded to the copyright holder in the amount of $150,000. Kerry's legislation increases the statutory damages a victim of child exploitation can recover to at least $150,000. This increased penalty will serve as a deterrent to those who disseminate and possess child pornography, as well as a means of compensating victims of this terrible abuse.

The legislation will also fix a flaw in the current law that prevents adults from suing those who download images of them taken as minors. The current statute states that "any minor who is a victim of a violation [of the act] may sue in United States District Court." This language has been interpreted literally by a federal district court to restrict recovery to only those victims who are under 18 at the time of the crime. Thus, when victims turn 18 they cannot recover against their perpetrators even if pornographic images of them as children are still being distributed via the Internet. Kerry's legislation would clarify the statute to include victims of child pornography who are injured after they turn 18 by the downloading of their pornographic images.
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Resources for Jewish Survivors of child pornography