Art Imitating Life: Monsey, NY

The Rabbi
NOT by Paul Simon

I am just a rabbi and my story’s not yet told
I have squandered my rabbonis for a multi sessioned orgy with a freakazoid
All lies and jest, still a rabbi screws who he wants to screw and disregards the rest, hmmmmm oy vay,
When I took her to my office, I was careful to install
A noise suppresser
In the clanging of my office door they could not hear
Lying low, on the floor and chair and shtender in positions new
Hoping that out side my door they really did not know.
La lala la lalalalalalalala
Oy vay
Asking only rabbi’s wages I come looking for some shnapps but I get no offers
Just a come on from horny wives on Wits End Avenue
I do declare there were times when I was righteous
I took some comfort there.
Now the shul has ostracized me, they have taken all my fun
They have summoned me to bais din, a lousy fate of rabbis who so hate my guts
No it isn’t strange after trashing them for years and years and saying I am the best
A rabbi screws who he wants to screw and disregards the rest.
La lala la lalalalala oy vay
And I’m laying out my suit of clothes, wishing I was was gone, to Eretz Yisrael
Where the New Hempstead horny bitches are not bleeding me, leading me
to the court
In the clearing stands a whack job and a nut case by her trade
And she carries her reminders of every time I stuck my winker into her
Till she cried out in her excitement and her shame
I am leaving, I am leaving but the whack job still remains
Yes she still remains.
Lalala. Lalalalalala lalalala oy vay.