What Would Be True Justice?
If you were sexually violated, or your child was sexually violated, what would you want to happen to your offender?
If your community acted inappropriate when allegations were made against your offender, what should be done to correct the problems?
Please take time out and list what you would want the world to know and or think about relating to your offender. . .
If your community acted inappropriate when allegations were made against your offender, what should be done to correct the problems?
Please take time out and list what you would want the world to know and or think about relating to your offender. . .
posted by Jewish Survivors at Sunday, January 16, 2005
11 Comments:
The offender would have to be evaluated by appropriate proffesionals and recieve appropriate treatment. No access to children. Full appolagy to all victims. Monetary compensation for all therapy for all victims. And if he does not do any part of this remove his .
1. Offenders evaluated by someone who has experience and not connected to the offender in anyway. Too often in the Jewish world those who evaluate the offender are friends of his or friends of his rabbi.
2. Offender will enter into treatment by someone highly qualified and skilled. Someone who is a part of a sex offender treatment program. The treatment should start off in a residential treatment facility for offenders.
3. The offender will make an apology to the survivors, and also make an apology publicly to his community.
4. The offender will voluntarily put his name up on a sex offenders registry.
5. If the offender has access to children he will remove himself from all temptations If he has a career working with children he will change careers.
6. If the offender has children of his own and lives at home, he will voluntarily remove himself from the home.
7. The offender will pay all of his victims for pain and suffering, and will be responsible for paying for their medical bills and for psychotherapy. Payment will also include the pain and suffering that the offender caused not only to the victim, but to the victim's family and friends. Because they also will have to deal with the fact that their loved one was injured.
Too bad prison chain-gangs no longer exist!
What a GREAT fantasy page! Ditto on on the things that offenders should have to do.
As for the community, I believe that the leaders of the community (ie, influential people and rabbis) should publicly state what is appropriate treatment for those suspected of sexual abuse. (It is OK for parents suspecting abuse to go to the police). I know that, in our case, the rabbis said one thing to us, one to the offender, and something entirely different and misleading to the community at large. Rabbis should be made to take on the "tough questions" head on. I found the rabbis in our case to be wimps, not wanting to hear both sides of the story, and only acknowledging that which was most comfortable to them, which left many children in danger. They danced around the issue throwing out quotes from the Chofetz Chaim without addressing any of the specific questions their congregants had about the specific situation in the community.
----Actually, that list (1-7) is excellent, but what about in the situation of #5 where they've predominantly preyed on women instead?
And, not meaning to throw a damp towel on these excellent ideas, but I'd like to point out that the rabbi who abused me once counseled sex offenders and child abusers. Perhaps he got some of his tips and ideas from them.
The only thing I would add to that list is some form of extensive and in-depth evaluation to determine whether their abuse was some form of compulsion or part of some pathology. Whatever the methods there are to distinguish between the compulsive with poor impulse control and those that are sociopaths, psychopaths or personality disorders, those methods need to be put in place as well.
i think the shomrim and hatzolah should have a list of offenders which should be given to all schools and yeshivas so they should not hire rebbes or teachers that are listed. in this way we could protect our most innocent and vulnerable children. i think that rabbis or leaders or teachers who fail to report and stop abuse will one day pay for it with their own family members suffering, as experience has shown. and i think everyone should be trained to deal with such incidents that of course never happen in the community. Parents have to learn to defend their children and rabbis have to seek truth and justice. there is a tape that ohel gave out lets talk about what never happened but did that is excellent. Rabbis spoke very well on that tape. it was helpful to survivors. the offenders who were mandated by the courts to go for therapy revealed a lot to the jewish community especially -- the extent of the problem. we are a sophisticated community and we have to join hands with many organizations, leaders and agencies to bring an end to abuse that is overlooked and perpetuated by irresponsible people. if not, therapists will be booked for a long time to come.
I think the OU and the RCA should go down the list of alleged and convicted offenders on The Awareness Center's site and post them on the front of their web pages.
I especially think it's about time they have names like, rabbis ephraim bryks, baruch lanner, and mordecai tendler up there with all the allegations next to their names. It's high time they take a public stand, and start protecting survivors of sexual misconduct instead of their buddies.
How can anyone take the RCA seriously unless they do this?
What about all the cases of rabbis that portray themselves as orthodox? There are too many who are not members of any organization. Needless to say if they are not a part of the RCA then there is no investigations that can be done. We've seen this happen with the case of rabbi Hershy Worch. The RCA passed the case on to the CRC (Chicago Rabbinical Council). But since Worch was neither a member of the RCA or the CRC no one could do a thing. My fantasy about all of this that there would be one accountable organization that addressed sexual misconduct of all rabbis (reform, conservative, etc.). Sort of like a licensing board. If you want to consider yourself to be a rabbi, you have to be approved by them, and if there is any charges of sexual misconduct that you will be on probation until the matter is cleared up. If the individual was found guilty the title of rabbi would be stripped from them.
I know this will never happen. I know that all of the rabbinical organization would never come together to agree on such a proposal, and if they did they would never hire people properly trained and skill to conduct such an investigation. We saw what happened with the Tendler case.
Regarding those outside the membership of the RCA and CRC: It is still my hope that more come forward and they can no longer avoid issuing a simple statement. I still don't understand why a simple statement such as "while not a member, we have grave concern over his writings and complaints on behaviors, and would encourage others to not seek spiritual guidance from him."
Why would that be so difficult to do, when there are enough complaints against someone and plenty of written evidence of a deranged mind?
I hope member of the RCA and CRC would take time out and read this blog, especially the comments. Maybe then they might start to get a clue. I am so furious with them, and I guess all of the rabbinical organizations for not doing more.
Perhaps it's time to bombard them with email and regular mail with the links to all these sites......
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