If you are a survivor of rape, incest or any other form of sexual violence -- Were you able to find help in the Jewish Community?
So many survivors I know have difficulties finding the help they need. Often they end up going to Christian based self-help groups, or to therapists who aren't even Jewish.
I'm curious if others have had this same experience, or if you were able to find help in Jewish communities?
If you were able to help you needed, where did you find it?
I'm curious if others have had this same experience, or if you were able to find help in Jewish communities?
If you were able to help you needed, where did you find it?
posted by Jewish Survivors at Sunday, January 23, 2005
8 Comments:
Because I could not get the help I needed in the Jewish community, I ended up staying with Sisters of the Catholic church for a while. They were very good to me and never tried to speak to me about religion.
Because I could not get the help I needed in the Jewish community, I ended up staying with Sisters of the Catholic church for a while. They were very good to me and never tried to speak to me about religion.
I wasn't either really able to find the help I need in the Jewish community. I am in an incest support group run by Catholic Charities. (There's no religious component to the group, it's just run under their auspices.)
I have a few Jewish friends who understand and accept me and several that were so insensitive that I cut contact with them.
The reform Jewish temple in my area has a service of healing prayers that I was thinking of going to.
When I first went for help and tried to find a rabbi, I had so many doors slammed in my face. One after another telling me that I was lying. That they knew my family, and that they were respectable. One after another telling me that "Jewish people don't abuse their children".
My quest for help was a disaster, for many reasons. I was 18 when I "ran away"--already in college, so really I just went back to school from vacation with no intention of ever going home....long story there, but that's not where I was going...
I first tried to get help from Jewish agencies. Responses ranged from "it's not happening" to "we do domestic violence, you're a kid, so talk to your guidance counselor". I ended up needing legal and financial assistance in addition to major counseling, and getting it was a nightmare. I had to go to a scary youth center in downtown NYC for my lawyer, had to get Medicaid (and I have health probs, so thats not so cool, since it's now being revoked and I no longer have a lawyer). I experienced "reverse racism"---what's a nice jewish white girl doing asking for help?! it was bad. my friends told me not to talk to rabbis because they wouldn't understand. I went through one or two frummie therapists who were disasters--I AM frum, but I needed more out of my therapy than "just put everything into your bitachon"....So, I have a nice nonjewish therapist, and that's been working.
Just to say one positive thing (which is very new for me, because to be honest I have been very bitter about the response I got from jewish agencies). I was recently directed to a rabbi who was very knowledgeable, compassionate, and helpful....why I couldn't have found him three years ago I don't know, but at least I know that there's at least ONE rabbi out there who can be helpful!!
I went a few years without talking to a rabbi. Vicki Polin put me in touch with Rabbi Yosef Blau. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's been great!
I didn't find any help in the Jewish community, but at least my current rabbi didn't try to argue or invalidate me.
I told a Rabbi what happened to me at home and he tried to have sex with me too. I guess it tittilated him and he molested me. Have never been back, needless to say.
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