God and Sexual Abuse?
It's not uncommon for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to have issues with the concept of God/higher power. What's your feelings on the whole topic?
posted by Jewish Survivors at Saturday, January 08, 2005
11 Comments:
total confusion. I was molested by frum people. I don't trust the Torah. I don't know what I believe. My beliefs change often.
I was abused by reform people and I'm also totally confused.
I'm an incest survivor, my parents were involved with Jewish renewal while I was growing up. I found some help with Jews for Jesus, but then realized that I was being manipulated by them and left that too.
How do you even begin to believe that there is a God? If there is one, I hold him/her totally responsible for my abuse.
Both of my parents were incest survivor, and I've heard rumors that three of my four grandparents were too. This is one family tradition that has got to stop!
I would think that this is particularly more difficult in instances where those in a religious family commit incest and/or abuse, or those who have turned to a rabbi for spiritual guidance have ended up being sexually manipulated and abused.
It's hard to remember, but needs to be kept in mind that, these people are NOT of God, they are so far off track from being of God, so far removed from the Tree of Life that none of it's shade reaches them. They have spread their poison and if they succeed in breaking us off from God then they have won, in a sense.
Think of those people who have believed us, reached out to us, joined in our journeys of healing and have wanted to see us get well, contributed with nothing but love and compassion. THESE are the people of God. These are huge injustices that were committed against us---and writing, speaking, telling, exposing--is at least one of the steps not only toward healing but also helping prevent it from happening to others.
Whether you realize it now or not, or are feeling far from God, you are doing God's work.
I started this discussion by posting the first comment... and I need to scream. I feel spiritually trapped. There seems to be a mafia style system of frum rabbis ( and rabbi believers who think that the rabbi's word is God's word)that is protecting my abuser who is a respected rabbi in his community. I have yet to find a single rabbi who is willing to get involved and stand up for me. One part of me wants to tell my story because I have been so hurt and I'm so angry, and I need to do something, but I'm worried that it is a form of self exploitation to do so. It will probably be twisted and used against me for years to come, right? WHAT DO I DO?
".....One part of me wants to tell my story because I have been so hurt and I'm so angry, and I need to do something, but I'm worried that it is a form of self exploitation to do so. It will probably be twisted and used against me for years to come, right? WHAT DO I DO?"
---Is the rabbi who abused you already on file with the Awareness Center?
---If so, have other complaints besides yours been made, as well?
If you have already contacted the Awareness Center, I'd suggest contacting Luke Ford to begin a Profile page on that rabbi. That's what I did, knowing there were many others out there whom he had abused and manipulated as well. After doing so, two more later came forward and sent statements (verified) which were added to that Profile page.
For the record, I have grown to have confidence in Ford for having kept my confidentiality. He's gotten a lot of flack for his past history, but so what? Who else is compiling stories from survivors like this?
You own your story, you own your experience of what happened to you. And who knows, how telling your story might end up helping someone else? Others convinced me of the likelihood of this, and it turned out to come to pass, it DID end up helping others.
Of course, you should go at your own pace with these things, and keep good supportive friends.
Wishing you all the best.
Yes, the person is on the awareness center website and their have been at least two other complaints. Luke Ford also has a page on him. Yet none of this, as far as I know seems, to be stopping this perp from having daily access to kids.
Argh--- no wonder your frustration!! What kind of parents would even think of sending their children to be in the presence of someone like this?
What role does God play into this? How can God allow your offender to have access to kids?
Are you talking about rabbi Eisgrau? Sure sounds like him.
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