Friday, September 01, 2006

Is The Observant World Safe for Survivors of Sexual Abuse?

Please note I'm doing my best to give survivors the opportunity to express themselves and their experiences. The following is the experience of a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The last time I posted a survivors experience I got a great deal of angry e-mail. I'm sure the same thing will happen again, yet I feel "Barbara" deserves to have her voice heard.

If we are going to change the way things have been handled, we need to know what the problems are. Does anyone have solutions to Barbara's issues?
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Barbara's Experience
By Barbara


I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Part of my healing process was to embrace things that were holy and spiritual. I don't know of better words to describe what I was seeking.

I once thought that the observant lifestyle was for me. I wanted to get to know God. I wanted to understand Torah. I wanted to live in a sheltered environment. I wanted to live in a place that was free of abuse, a place that was loving and kind. I was looking for something different then what my childhood was like. I was open to learning. I wanted to see things differently.

My life has been shattered reading about case after case, after reading about survivors who have been shunned, discredited and blamed for allowing themselves to be abused. I can't handle hearing one more story of how our rabbis manipulated individuals. A few months ago I moved away. It's very difficult adjusting back into mainstream society. Slowly I am no longer keeping kosher or shabbat. At first it was extremely difficult, yet I have began to feel that I was manipulated into believing that being observant was the "truth".

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can sooo relate to you. I have not moved away and I do not know if the Torah is "true" or not, but the people who claim to be "frum" have no idea how similar they are to every other fundamentalist people on earth.

September 02, 2006 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

but the people who claim to be "frum" have no idea how similar they are to every other fundamentalist people on earth.

I couldn't agree more.
The best bets for 'healing' for abuse survivors is to develop a healthy autonomy, and run as far away from God-talkers as possible.

September 06, 2006 7:26 AM  

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